You Didn't Ask For This
You Didn't Ask For This
131 | Sweet Six-Sovereignteen
It's the Bingosode! We go through our selections for the year while saying goodbye to one particular tradition. What can we say? You kill and you learn.
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Happy New Year.
Matt:Hey, thanks, pal.
Eric:Happy New Year.
Matt:Happy New Year, audience. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, yes. Happy New Year. Yep. And to start our year off.
Eric:I'm glad you remembered what day came out. Here's a story. This is this is my my day of holiday adventure. Okay. So is that Miracle and 34th Street with my beloved? We decided to go there. It was like 11 o'clock at night on a on like a Friday.
Matt:Just real quick, did you want to tell the audience what Miracle on 34th Street in Baltimore was?
Eric:So we went to Miracle and 34th Street, which is a yearly tradition. There's a a straw a small street of townhouses in Baltimore that go all out for decorating for Christmas every year. To the point, and it's a bigger thing, and they shut down traffic and people walk through and go, ooh, ah, and it's real pretty. And it to the point, uh, when you when you buy a house on that street, you actually have to sign a thing saying you will decorate.
Matt:It's part of the yes. The and I'm glad you brought that up because I was going to as well, because I know a homeowner on 34th Street. Well, here I'm not going to give it to you straight.
Eric:There is a spectrum of quality on that street. You can tell, you can tell who has the Christmas spirit and who just wanted a house near the avenue in Hamlet.
Matt:Right, yeah. And and is doing the absolute bare minimum that they need to to fulfill the neighborhood agreement.
Eric:So we did that. We went and saw it. And then as after we left, we're like, we're feeling so holly, jolly, full of the spirit of Christmas. We're like, let's go get Taco Bell.
Matt:Well, had you okay, is the Taco Bell gonna follow up like some nice cider or hot chocolate? Because I know that's a thing there for sure.
Eric:I Matt, I'm legitimately happy you forgot because I forgot this was like kind of like a whole crux of the thing. We wanted, we we went and saw the lights, and after we're we were done, we wanted Taco Bell for dinner. Okay. But first, we wanted to get hot chocolate. Okay. Because we're like, we're like, but what's oh, it's like midnight by now, but it's on a Friday. So we start like it closes at midnight, the lights do. We got there at like quarter after 11. We were there for a solid 20 minutes. Get off my back.
Matt:I wish you could all see the look he's giving me right now. I'm just confused because the the houses have like there's multiple houses that serve hot chocolate.
Eric:Like, yeah, but probably not until midnight. Like, like it all the vendors were gone by the time we rolled up. Because we rolled up like 40 minutes from the time they shut everything off. Got it. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me talk about my hot chocolate needs. I wish you would. So I needed hot chocolate. My girlfriend needed hot chocolate. So I so I looked up. We we we did a little lookup. We're like, what's got what's got fucking hot chocolate around here? And we looked up. There's a business that it's like a little cafe. I'm not gonna name them for reasons that will soon be become clear. That like it's a little cafe, it's open till like three in the morning, and it's been around for years, and we've been there before. They're like, Oh, yeah, let's go get hot chocolate there. Matt, yes, when we left 34th Avenue Street, we were bathed in the light of Christmas and joy and giving and love. As you should be. When we arrived at this cafe, I can only describe the vibe as wretched. Oh it the lights were dim. There's like three or four people in this cafe. Matt, I shit you not, there was someone with like head down on the counter, like they just like like they're in a Norman Rockwell painting and they just lost their job. Okay. Uh, there's there's like two people like sulking, just staring daggers at everyone in the fucking corner. There is a weird smell in the air, and it had the most depressing, nostalgic remembering the good old days, but now times are tough. Jazz. It was like that one single employee behind the desk, and I'm like, Yeah, what can I get for you? That's all we need. Like, I'm the detective, and I've just like the the trail has just gone cold. Of all the gin joints in all the world, yeah. Dude, so we order this hot chocolate and we we we wait for like 10 minutes while she's making this hot chocolate. And I'm and I'm I'm hearing all the elements. Like they ask us, do you want whole milk or oat milk? I take whole, Alyssa takes oat. And and like, I'm like, first, I'm like, cool, awesome, making it with milk. Hell yeah. And then they get the the fucking steamer involved at some point. Like they're making it like sure. I'm like, oh, this is gonna fucking roll. She gives us our hot chocolate. We take the hot chocolate, we extricate ourselves as fast as humanly possible from like I can I can feel myself, I can feel the void calling me every second I remain in the street. The depression cloud of this bar is pulling you in. Truly. We get in the car, we we we we start driving home, we're sitting there, we're sipping our hot chocolates, you know, making small talk. Thought you're driving Taco Bell. Uh on our way home, stopping at Taco Bell. I see. For dinner. For dinner.
Matt:Even though we're talking about post-midnight at this point.
Eric:Yeah. No, this is how we uh it blows if Joey and Shauna and them like listen to the show, and uh it they tell me all the time blows my mind their minds how fucking late I eat.
Matt:It's it's not late if it's after midnight. At some point it's early. It's fourth meal, but it's not fourth meal, Eric, if you haven't had the third meal.
Eric:So we're on our way home via Taco Bell. Yeah. At a certain point, Alyssa asks me, she says, Hey, how's your hot chocolate? And I go, it is the most mid fucking hot chocolate I have ever drank in my life. Okay. It just it tasted like hot milk that someone held and then whispered chocolate over top of it. And I was like, it's bad. I've been drinking it mostly at duty because like we drove like 10 minutes out of our way to go get this.
Matt:So now it's gone from mid to bad very quickly.
Eric:It is mid to well, well, here we go. At this point, Alyssa says, and Matt, I can't stress it enough. My hot chocolate is mid. Mid, mid, mid, mid, peak mid. I'm like, nothing tastes bad. It just middle of the road. It's just milk not remarkable. Alyssa hands me her hot chocolate made with oat milk. Yes, I remember. I take a sip. Yes. It is the most dog water hot chocolate. Like it is mine was so much better. My like I like I didn't know what I had until I sipped her. And we're discussing this as we're discussing, like, holy shit. We see a woman is broke down in the middle of an intersection. Uh-huh. There's a mini coop broken down in front of a minute mini uh intersection in front of a gas station in the middle of Baltimore, and there's a dude trying to push her car towards the gas station, and fucking he's shoved against it, and I look over, I see him struggling, I see drivers just completely disregarding the the their entire plight and honking at them. And I turn to Lisa and I say, I have to pull over and help. So she waits in the car. I pull over, I stop, I get out. Do you need help? And they go, Yes. So I get out, start, start like pushing the car. The car will not move because it's in it, it's it is it is in park. Well, thank God you arrived. Thank God I arrived. She had run out of gas. Uh-huh. It was pulling into this gas station right as the engine cut. I get in, I'm like, I can try to help. Uh and I was like, pop it neutral. She's like, it won't let me. I'm like, uh, let's let's poke around and see if we can figure this out. So she scoots over into the passenger seat. I get behind the wheel. The other guy is still like trying to push. At this point, he's like, fuck it. I'm gonna walk to the gas station and get you a container of gas. I mean, if it's right there. And this poor girl is getting bombarded by her friend. Her one friend keeps blowing up her phone, trying to tell her. And this is all while I am trying to find how to put this car in neutral, this mini coupe. Spoiler, Matt, I learned this later via the internet. Minicoops are incapable of going into neutral when they're out of gas, unless you break a panel off of the front of the dashboard and hit an override. I didn't know that at the time. I'm I also don't know if you've ever seen the inside of a fucking mini coop dashboard. It is insane. It was designed by a madman, a fucking crazy person. None of it made sense. Matt, there's not even an ignition. There's just a permanent switch, like an ignition like switch built into the dash that you have to like turn and then shifting. It's a it's a flip switch about the size of a fucking Sturst that you have to like flick to get to different positions. So I'm like sitting there like fucking messing with everything. This poor girl, her friend is blowing her shit up, calling her being like, you know, this is a sign from God. You know, you gotta listen to this. This is a sign from God. And and and and she's like, the girl is getting called, the girl's car is broken down, it's dealing with all. She was like, No, it's not, it is not. I thought, well, like I'm sitting there shaking my fucking head, and she was like, Yeah, the dude here with me thinks you're full of shit too. And I was like, honestly, I do. That's sometimes involved me. Yeah, like we're just talking, and I'm like, Yeah, no, sometimes you just run out of gas. That's okay, everything's gonna be fine.
Matt:It's actually baffling to me how anyone runs out of gas in this year of Our Lord 2025, but continue, truly.
Eric:But we're having that conversation, we're breaking down like all the I was like, You shouldn't listen to her. She's like, I'm not, and like hung up on her and was like trying to call someone else. This bitch calls back and keeps trying to hop on it. And then eventually the poor girl's like, Fucking, no, no, fuck you, and you're unsupportive ass. Hangs up the phone. I'm like, hell yeah. And that's when the dude showed back up. He's like, I got gas, poured it in, got the car on, got them out of there. Wow. Oh, and as soon as I was back in the car after dealing with all like after all of that happened, that took up about 15 minutes. That all that happened in the space about 15 minutes. Okay, I get back in the car, start driving towards Taco Bell Valissa, and just turn to her and go, Yeah, no, that is the most dog shit hot chocolate I have ever seen. I it is absolute trash. That's how bad the hot chocolate was, Matt. All of that happened, and we went right back to the hot chocolate.
Matt:I was wondering, you know, because I got my work cut out for me here, Eric, as an editor, because yeah, you do. Uh audience, we're on the 18th minute of Eric's cold open, and I'm trying to piece together how when we started at Miracle on 34th Street, how that has a single goddamn thing to do with what ended up being this story about you with this mini Cooper that you can't figure out how to work, and you flip the switch, and I'm surprised you didn't go, oh, you flip the switch and it goes, there's all in it. I'm surprised you didn't throw one of those in there. Happy New Year, Matt. 18 minutes, Eric. Woo! God damn it. Ah, let's get into it. Here we go. Happy New Year. Well, hello, everybody, and welcome to You Didn't Ask for This. It's the podcast that answers life's least pressing questions. My name's Matthew Shea. My name's Eric Poach. Eric Poach, how are you?
Eric:New Year, New Me, baby. Is it New Year New Me? All right, I'm gonna hold you to it. Circa 1216. Um I'm gonna hold you to it. I'm watching Amelia's just having a heck of a time. She's uh she's enjoying her new favorite toy, which is just a go puff bag that has been flattened and placed on the ground.
Matt:Yeah, that's gonna get it. That's gonna be a hit every time.
Eric:Forms a box. You know that about cats, right? If there's a circle or a box, they just gotta she just sits on it. I'm familiar with the box phenomenon of cats, yes. Okay, well, I I know you are on the record as hating cats.
Matt:Yep, sure do. Now, the uh situation is as follows, Eric. Yeah. I'm sorry, did you have something else you wanted to say about me hating cats?
Eric:No, no, no. Hope you can hear your your your your goddaughter in the background.
Matt:Yeah, oh, I can hear all right. I yeah, I definitely can hear. Gotta edit her ass out. Yeah, yeah, shit. She's a hit. The fans love hearing Amelia in the background. Haven't heard a single bit of feedback about Amelia's presence on this podcast, but you know to do that. I'm sure that I'm sure the Discord will agree with you. I'm sure they will.
Eric:They will, as they have always been, be on the right side of history. Okay. All right. Yeah, sure.
Matt:Uh-huh. All right. I can't I can't get it. What Eric, it is a brand new year, and you're you want to start this episode. You want to start this year with a fight. And I just simply don't respect that about you. I simply don't respect my my my biceps. It actually is, audience. That actually is. Now he's doing a the King Kong thing. Now he's literally making gorilla faces at me. Baring my teeth. In his darkened room. Listen, we had an off-the-rails episode just last episode, Eric. We can't we have to try to keep this a little bit on track because we only have one question to answer.
Eric:What question is that, Matt?
Matt:Baby, it's New Year's Day, and that means, as per tradition, it's the bingo sode, baby. Bingo! What is on our 2026? B-I-N-G. Oh my.
Eric:Ooh, that's a bingo.
Matt:That's right, baby. Thank you, Christoph. That's right. It is the bingo sew. We have lots of bingo options to go through. As always, you, the listener, will be able to submit a YDAFT bingo card of your very own by February 1st, right? That's our usual cutoff there. Yeah. So February 1st. You got 30 days of cheat days to you know, you can some of these might happen, and you can submit the card with them. It's fine. Yeah. But you can submit them to us at you didn't ask for this, gmail.com. Email them. The template for this uh bingo card is in the show notes. So you can you can click on that, get right on in there. It's uh it's a Canva template that you can copy. You can make your own. It's a drag-drop situation. You're gonna turn that into us. It's gonna be fucking great. We have it's a hoot. It's a hoot. With each successive year, we have done this. We have gotten more submissions every year. So I'm very pleased about that and hope that the tradition will continue. And what happens if they get a bingo, Matt? Oh, they get a free spot on the show, regardless of if they've been on the show before. And what didn't we add something last year, Eric? Probably a piece of merch. No one has won yet, not even us. So I think we've come close. I think there's gonna be a custom piece of merch. I'm gonna go so far as to say that, Eric. Dare I say bespoke. Dare I say bespoke. You know, we we and we're no strangers to that. We did promise Sir Juniper an engraved harmonica to honor the first night of Yadapht. And we, after a lot of months of dragging our feet, we did do it. We did do it. We did do it. We'll do it again. And we'll do it again. And we'll yeah, that's right. It's we'll fucking I'll do it again. And uh if you join the Discord, you can submit your official uh notices. Notices. You can submit your official bingo selections that will be included on the card, but you have to be in the Discord. You have to drop it in the Discord channel for bingo. But before we get into the options, we have to talk about something, Eric. Oh yes, we do, Matt. We have to address the monster in the room. And I'm afraid it is Matt Shay.
Eric:Afraid the monster is me. So so folks, uh I'm gonna lay it on you. I'm gonna lay it on you right now. We've been doing this for two years now. Three. But this is our third year. This is our year. Two years prior to this. Don't be willful, Matt. It's our fourth year. Don't be difficult. You've been difficult enough already. Because it's two out of the three that I've been so the first two times we did this, we would there are a couple things we do each year, trying to get each other into certain things, what we think the word of the year is going to be, and a celebrity death, bingo square. A celebrity death. If your death predictions have come true, clap your hands. If it's happened two years in a row, clap your hands.
Matt:This is what I'm saying. I think you have uh still don't understand that we have already done bingo three years. Oh. Because I am two out of three. You're two out of three. So I'm not gonna be clapping my hands. Sorry, now I get it. Look, man.
Eric:I've killed two people. You he's two, he's he's he's two for three. Look, um Angel of Death, Matt Shea.
Matt:Year one, Tony Bennett. Honestly, I I didn't even feel good about it in the moment because I knew he was on death's door, so it felt unfair. And you know, luckily, that's why I went the polar opposite with year two with Justin Bieber and the for the shock factor. And last year I went with Jane Goodall, and we all know what happened with Jane Goodall. And the thing is, we were expecting Tony Bennett, all right?
Eric:We were expecting Jane Goodall was so out of left field, both as a selection and as a bullseye.
Matt:She was very old, so I don't think she was completely out of left field, but but like of all the celebrities you could have picked out of left field. It didn't leave me with a good feeling, folks. We felt real bad about it. You know, getting it right, getting it right once was like shocking, and it was enough to be like, well, it's not gonna happen again. Surely it can't happen again. And then it happened and it's happened to me twice.
Eric:Yeah, and I have I love that you're saying anything's happening to you in this equation.
Matt:You've killed two people. I've killed two people, but not by choice. I mean, granted, I you did choose them like an angel of death.
Eric:You chose them, but I choose all but pointed.
Matt:I all but directed the Grim Reaper to their door, to their domicile. Uh, and it said, no, I'm and see.
Eric:She's she's right in there, death. Uh I'm gonna start calling you cum and she. Please don't start calling me cum and she. Oh, Matthew cum and Shay. God damn it. Uh, you heard it in your first folks, spread it around the internet. Uh, Matt is not only an angel of death, he comes a whole lot.
Matt:An angel of cum as well.
Eric:Listen. The angel of cum. Listen come forth.
Matt:So come all ye. Deathless. We are retiring the bit. We are retiring. Okay. I do not want to. As soon as the news came across that Jane Goodall died, I texted Eric to say, I don't feel good about this anymore. I don't like this bit anymore. And it kind of makes you think, because like shouldn't have been doing it in the first place. Probably not.
Eric:Yeah, exactly. It was like, oh man, I we keep finding ourselves in the position of man, we it's really a bummer. That thing, that shot we called happened. Happened.
Matt:We okay, so we are we are officially retiring. Yes. It's done. The death of the year. It's going to the farm to run around with weird news.
Eric:And that was important.
Matt:Yes, it does go to weird news. I don't know that we're getting back to that segment. Possibly ever. We'll see. We'll see. It is going to head over to that farm. And the uh the other thing I need to say is we only got a couple of uh entries from the Discord. But one of the ones we received was a death watch. And sir, you know who you are, Eric DeErico. I will not reveal who you picked. Uh that is a privilege only for the Discord, only for the privileged.
Eric:Oh, you want to know.
Matt:You got to show up at the Orgy Down. Yeah, you want to know you got to pay. Uh, but I won't put it out there on the airwaves, Eric DeErico, because you didn't know we were going to retire this.
Eric:You didn't know.
Matt:You didn't know. So you're And if Matt Shea says their name out loud, it will happen. Yeah, that's I have been very careful not to say the person's name. So you can read it for yourself on the Discord. But uh, we are retiring that. So sorry to Jane Goodall and Tony Bennett, and indeed their estates, uh, for predicting those deaths.
Eric:Um, can we get an arms in the arms of an angel? No, meet me up here.
Matt:Okay. That could not have been enjoyable to listen to.
Eric:Oh, I bet it rules. Eric. Because it went it went mono, stereo, back to mono, back to stereo. Eric, let's get the fuck into it. Okay. Let's get into it.
Matt:Let's get into it. Now we have uh our regulars. I think we should uh well, let's not lead with them. Let's pepper them in later, yeah? Oh, pepper them in later? Or do you want to lead with them? Oh I got let's lead with them. Oh, okay. Then in that case, I'll start with this little tale. I was so fucking proud of my word of the year choice. In fact, it was so good, I was left baffled and enraged when Miriam Webster and I believe also the Oxford English Dictionary or the Oxford Press both picked my pick for next year for 2025. And that was AI Slop. Yep. I was very disappointed. It was in my notes app for months of word of the year, and I felt so good about it. And when I saw that the other day, I went, motherfucker. Son of a bitch. I can't believe Corpo Cook didn't get off the ground. Anyway, I had to pick a new word of the year in in record time. What you got for me? Eric. I have chosen purple text. Okay. Purple text.
Eric:Okay.
Matt:Yeah. Yeah.
Eric:Okay.
Matt:Yeah. You want me to explain it? Yeah. I saw that purple text is beginning. It's I I went so far as to search what it is the kids are saying. And I just Are they just saying purple text? And I took something related to this, to purple text, and I made it. I'm I'm once again, I'm taking something that is somewhat in the culture, but I'm taking a bit of the corpo cuck and inventing a term as well. And I'm putting it out there for purple text. Purple text referring to a hyperlink already trodden upon.
Eric:Okay, that's what I imagined in my head, but I was like, that can't be right.
Matt:Evidence of a of something in the past, you know, like, oh yeah, that's purple text for me. Boom. I love that. Yeah, dog. That's purple text for me. Start saying it today, folks. Start saying it today. Manifest it. Get in ahead of the children. So you're so just to be clear, you're inventing this right now. I think so. I mean, I think so, yes. I love this. Yeah, just like Corbok. That wasn't a word, and as far as I know, it's unfortunately still not. I like yours better than mine. Well, then let's hear your shitty one. Allegedly.
Eric:Allegedly. I would also accept alleged. Oh, yeah, that's that's fair. I think word of the year is going to be the conjugation we can allow, I think. Depending on the conjugation, that'll inform the allegations.
Matt:Oh all right. So your words of the year, purple text. And allegedly. And allegedly. Or alleged. Or alleged. Alleged. Allege. Yeah. So do you want to go right into our you get me into, I get you into as well? Yeah.
Eric:I won't I won't. Do you want to bookend it?
Matt:Oh, let's bookend it. Let's bookend it. Let's bookend it. Give yourselves a treat. Let's bookend it. Bookend it. All right, Eric. Then give me your first new thing for the bingo options. What is on your 2026 bingo card, Eric? Okay, if you're joining us for the first time, it's important to know. And just a quick clarification. These are not going to be our necessary. We can pick from whatever whatever is said here today. So I said what's on your 2026 bingo card, just to reiterate the question. But Eric's free to choose mine. I'm sure you choose his.
Eric:Yeah.
Matt:Anyway, Eric, go ahead.
Eric:This is a mix, I would say. My my own personal approach is I go for things that A, I both want to happen. That's one category. But the other is the other category is I think this will happen. Sure. Despite my desires that it will happen. And then there's a third, like, hmm, what if? I would say I'm gonna start with a dear, dear wish of mine. Luigi gets off on a technicality.
Matt:I think that's very likely. And I also have because I misjudged, and I said this in the episode last year about when the trial may or may not start. And I said, jury jury nullification frees Luigi. But that couldn't have happened. We didn't make it that far into the trial period. So I'm bringing that one back to 2020.
Eric:You're circling back, you're following up.
Matt:So I'm saying I also on my list have Luigi freed due to jury nullification. But I think these are two separate yet equally important squares of freed on a technicality, different.
Eric:Yeah, no, yeah. You're you're calling jury nullification, I'm calling a technicality. Yeah, because jury nullification isn't a technicality.
Matt:No, no, no, no, no.
Eric:A technicality could cause jury nullification.
Matt:That's what I'm saying. There's two different things. Yeah, yeah. But I'm with you. A technicality could also lead to a not guilty verdict. Oh, yeah. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I agree. So uh, you know what? We're all just living on Luigi Mangioni's internet. So we, you know, he gets two squares. He gets two squares. Oh, oh, Timmy two squares over here. Timmy two squares from Towson, Maryland. I'll remind you all. Luigi, we have you freed twice here on the podcast. Eric, uh, I I like it. I like it. Yeah. We were very much on the same page. And I think because we were, we've already alternated and you should go again.
Eric:Oh. The president tries to cancel Christmas. Like try, I uh he pulls an executive order and tries to cancel Christmas.
Matt:You know, I had made a I had to make a conscious effort when trying to think of my last minute, you know, addition, round out the list from what I had put on my notes app throughout the year. What I what I had to make a conscious effort to not think of just terrible things.
Eric:Oh, oh, my list, my list, my list skirts the edge of dark the whole time.
Matt:Yeah, yeah.
Eric:Pretty much there's some there's some there's some chucklers in there, some light ones, but sure, yes.
Matt:I that's what I mean. I had several grim ones, and I was like, oh, wait, it's a comedy show. Like I had to remind myself a little bit. Such is my uh I guess outlook on hope right now. Um, but nevertheless, okay, so he's gonna submit an executive order that cancels Christmas.
Eric:Yeah, I d now I'll I'll say this. I didn't I don't have the specificity of an executive order, I just have it, he will try to cancel Christmas.
Matt:Well, no one would be surprised that in in the war, the so-called war on Christmas, that the call is coming from inside the house the house. Absolutely not. So I like it, Eric. I like it a lot. Now, Eric, yeah. Here's one for you. Okay. For the past couple of years, Eurovision song contest has made I was wondering when we were gonna address this. Has made numerous appearances on the pod, on the on the bingo square. Getting mad into it. And and then again, because you failed to remember you had to think of something to get me into so but you did succeed last year.
Eric:Yes, I did.
Matt:I'm into Eurovision just in time. And just in time, and I will say, yeah, but it is authentic that you got me into Eurovision, because I will say, just the other day, I thought to myself and checked. Oh, when when do the videos start dropping? When does uh good man when does that start start coming out? And then I bet you saw some headline. I already I think we all know about the controversies, Eric. The controversy, yes. It's not it's not no secret. It's no secret. One might say highly publicized international news. Um, that we are, as of this recording, up to five stalwarts of the conver of the competition have boycotting are boycotting because of we'll just say the inclusion of a particular country.
Eric:Of a particular country, of a controversial country.
Matt:Of a particular controversial country.
Eric:And and we uh Matt legitimately had to have the talk in our house where we looked at each other and said, Are we boycotting this? Yeah, okay, cool. No Eurovision this year. Oh, you're not doing it.
Matt:No, you're not doing Eurovision at all.
Eric:Not unless they get their house in order, not unless they sort themselves up, pull up their socks.
Matt:Well, I wouldn't watch it. Well, because also part of the controversy is during this particular country's performance last year, they uh were booed throughout it, but the Europe but Peacock, I believe, right? Uh Peacock edited it to make it sound like they weren't being booed. Oh, yeah.
Eric:And that's not even Peacock. That is straight up the European broadcasting, like that is the runners of Eurovision. Yeah, but it was such a edited out and piped in uh audience applause.
Matt:It was such a thing that they have said, instead of saying, no, we're not kicking them out of the competition, instead, what they've said is instead what they've said is, but we won't do what we did last year and cover up the booze. And I'm like, what a wild concession to make.
Eric:Hey, no, like look, throw as many tomatoes as you want, we'll let you boo them, but we really want their money, yeah.
Matt:So that's interesting.
Eric:So you're I I am surprised, yeah. And it's a shame because this year was gonna be Canada's first. Canada was invited this year. I think you're not even gonna like look at the songs. I'll oh, I'll I'll listen to some musical artists and form opinions about it, but I will not give any view time to the Eurovision song contest now. Oh wow, okay. I'm surprised. But I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will support the artists. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Are you gonna rank your your songs? Oh, yeah, but I'm not gonna want I'm not gonna give them views. Oh, yeah, I agree with that. I I feel like Eurovision, not the artist. The artists get all of my views. Because I was still yeah, I was still gonna rank things. Yeah, we're but we're we're boycotting.
Matt:I mean, just because I have dead last already predetermined doesn't mean I can't I can't I can't look at the rest of these these fine artists. Uh so yeah, anyway, I still felt that Eurovision should be included in some way as a as an appropriate bookend to the me getting into it. I thought I should give it a square, and I'm gonna say, due to the controversies, Eurovision will be either delayed or canceled.
Eric:Good call. Yeah, I agree. That is such a good one. Thank you. That is baller. Thank you. And I for the sake of the competition, I hope it happens. Matt, we're discussing a snuffing out, and I want to I wanna I want to I wanna pivot to a reignition. An emergence from the ashes. Oh, hello, the Phoenix is rising. I feel like over the past couple years, the way reboots have been going and like sequels to very old movies, I feel like the stage is set and the time is prime, and I looked it up and I thought Daniel Stern was dead, and he's not. So my call is announcement of a home alone sequel starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, and Catherine O'Hara.
Matt:Dan uh yes, Daniel Stern is definitely not dead. Um, he's mostly farming on TikTok these days. Uh, but the good for him. He's got a delightful TikTok. Um, they gotta check that out. Yeah, yeah. He likes it, it's unhinged. It's it like he always films, like it's always the classic boomer. Like he's it films right in front of his face, and then he's just showing me up the nostrils, just showing me all, and he was like, let me turn it, and then he manually turns the phone around to show you everything he's juiced. Good man, Daniel Stern. It's it's it's just wholesome and delightful. Uh, but yes, he's still alive. Macaulay Culkin, who was dead, is gonna be on this year's uh gonna be on the new season of Fallout if you didn't know that. Oh yes, I did know that. Uh McCaulay Culkin said that he uh I guess was answering the question of like, would you do a home alone reboot or something? And he said he'd do it if it was centered around Kevin and his kids. Do like he's still playing Kevin McAllister, he's just the dad now. Oh, hell yeah. And like I I think that'd be fun, especially if combined with uh a return of the wet slash the sticky bandits.
Eric:Oh my god, yes. It would be like I would be over the moon. That's and Catherine O'Hara.
Matt:Oh, yeah. Well, she'll be there, obviously. Yeah. Got to be. Got to be. Um, Eric, I'm gonna take a quick pivot to the world of sports. Okay. This is for my baseball peeps out there, which I know is not you, Eric, and I briefly toyed around with trying to make baseball my get you into, but I don't think you're ready for that yet.
Eric:Okay.
Matt:I didn't think you were ready for that. So uh, but this is related to a certain player uh by the name of Joey Gallo. Uh he uh sounds familiar. Yeah, he was a big name for a good number of years there, big slugger. Uh big old, big old slugger. He was kind of a it's uh it's either either a home run or a strikeout kind of guy. Um that's pretty much a power exclusive. All or nothing power exclusive kind of player. Uh kind of faded away as his skills diminished, mostly when he became a New York Yankee, briefly, uh, and was awful. But he has been making a resurgence in a very shocking way to baseball fans as a pitcher. And there are uh I have I received my hot stove report this morning that says multiple teams are legitimately looking at Joey Gallo as a potential pitching option. All right. Now he'd probably get signed to a minor league contract, but I am gonna say Joey Gallo returns to Major League Baseball as a pitcher. Hell yeah. That's my sport-related uh um uh bingo option here. Nice. Let me see real quick. Let me see if I have any sport. Oh, I have another one too, and I think I'm gonna make I'm gonna make you do this because the biggest sport event of the year is, of course, Eric. The puppy bowl. Seriously.
Eric:Oh, the World Cup.
Matt:Thank you.
Eric:Fucking sorry, I forgot about soccer.
Matt:I mean, football, isn't it? Oh, uh I'm sorry, do we need to rescind a square about you getting into soccer?
Eric:No.
Matt:Uh, that's what I thought. I have a world cup winner. Oh, I love the footy. I have a world cup winner picked here, I think. Now, granted, I I think you are into soccer, but no I am not as much that you know all the ins and outs of these international teams. I do think you need to pick a World Cup winner as well. Okay, I'll pick a World Cup winner.
Eric:So uh Millwall. Eric, do you know how the World Cup works? Arsenal Cambridge Cambridge upon Avon, innit?
Matt:Just trying to alienate all our British listeners, huh? Baff. Baff. Ooh, interesting.
Eric:Baff have a football team. Baff should. Baff. Um, no, but who do I think would win the World Cup? Okay, hold on. I'm gonna here's weird new because yours, I guarantee, is so informed and like and and and is like taking in. I believe there's sincerity to your desire to be.
Matt:No, there's this is my my legit pick to win the world cup. I'm gonna go ahead and say. I'll tell you who it won't be. Ooh. The US of A, baby. Oh, yeah, we're not cool enough. We're not great. But I if you didn't know, Mauricio Pacchettino, the uh very story.
Eric:You can only assume Italian.
Matt:Yes, but the very storied uh head coach, now head coach of the United States men's national uh soccer team, he is often abbreviated as Poch, spelled P-O-C-H. And that is extremely distracting for me to see all the time. Oh, that has to be.
Eric:That's nuts.
Matt:Yes. But yes, he is the head coach of uh that's cool. Uh honestly, if we get past the round of 16, I will be, first of all, amazed but delighted. That that would be nice. I doubt it's gonna happen, but uh it would be nice. You're you're picking the U.S. No, I am definitely not picking the U.S. Who are you picking? I'm picking Spain. And this is not this is not a controversial pick to those who follow the footy. No, it's Spain. It's Spain. They are one of the favorites uh for this particular edition of the World Cup. But uh I I think they home of Real Madrid. They do indeed. That is one of the many teams located in Spain, yes. Yeah, they uh yes, they and my my boy Lamin Yamal, the teen wonder. I think he will lead them to victory. Hell yeah.
Eric:So who is your pick, Eric? I'm gonna shoot for the moon, even if I miss a land among the stars. Canada.
Matt:Canada's bold pick. Canada pick. It would be a host nation, technically, to to win, which is uh is always nice to see, even though the final is in New Jersey. But the uh, you know, uh they would they are technically one of the three host nations. So Canada, take it away. Always nice for a host to win. I don't I think they are going to. Let me see their FIFA rating real quick. Oh, they're 27. They're higher than I thought, actually. Okay. That's not too bad. They're not gonna win. But the uh they are in the World Cup, and I man, Eric, if you're right. Damn. You are you you would have called it on a whim and a prayer. Canada. Absolutely. So uh that's that. Um, Eric, what's your next thing?
Eric:My next thing. Ah, it's one of the bummer ones. An AI musician goes on tour.
Matt:Now, Eric, this is this is great minds, but also paranoid minds, because I not only have an AI-related one as well, obviously. I have an AI music related one.
Eric:What's yours?
Matt:An AI generated song will be nominated for a Grammy. Oh, I'm gonna throw up. And and the thing is, I am open to mine not being like known until after the fact.
Eric:Like they get nominated, and then it comes out that it's when they go to accept it. Oh, the drama. Oh god, just a squad of fucking geeks and tech pros. Yes. We're glad you liked our song.
Matt:Yes, which made by Grock. Absolutely. So those are two AI Hellscape related uh things. Here, I've got an intro. I've got here's I'm gonna take one, I'm gonna take one that's gonna be uh a little out there. All right, Youngblood. In November, Eric. In November, you may be interested to know that our friend Voyager one Carl's boy Voyager One is scheduled to hit one light day away from Earth in November. The distance that travel The distance Oh well I can't wait to see what comes out of this thought. The light no no no massage it right out.
Eric:Everything the day touches is our light.
Matt:Oh, he pushed that turd right out. Okay, great. Day of light. Light day. Fantastic work, Eric. Uh I have the Voyager 1. Yeah. It's not gonna get to that one light day, Eric, because it will be somehow intercepted and will suddenly change course.
Eric:Oh my I love that. Oh, that's really good. Speaking of the heavens, the celestial bodies. I have one.
Matt:You have a celestial body. I couldn't agree more.
Eric:Oh you Mercury in retrograde will be officially recognized as a mental health risk. Shit, I hope not. Okay, I don't know about you, man. I didn't believe in it. And then I noticed there were patterns to meet times of me feeling particularly shitty to the point where I'll be in like week two of a dread of just like a cosmic fuck. I'm like, God, everything. And I'll be like wait, I'm like, babe, babe, is Mercury retrograde? She'll tell me yes. I'm like, son of a bitch.
Matt:And then as soon as it seems to conveniently work out that way.
Eric:And then as soon as it's done, I feel, if not better, a whole lot less worse.
Matt:I mean, what else could you call that other than psychosomatic?
Eric:Listen, the that reality is psychosomatic.
Matt:Sure. Yeah. Yeah, sure it is. No, Eric, I I think you stand a good chance of that because if that happens, it w it will in a way be a mental illness because uh I will I will suddenly be mentally ill from having to deal with the reality that that was has been canonized. Yeah, yeah.
Eric:It hits see, it hits us all.
Matt:Now I got one, it's a little topical for right now, but it's the long game. It's it's the long game, and I'm working on his long game. I had to I had to do a little research to see if it was even a possibility. Ooh. But because he has two films that he's currently working on, I think they are both going to come out in 2026, but you never fucking know anymore. Never know. I'm gonna say Paul Dano will be nominated for an Oscar.
Eric:Paul Dano. We stand Paul Dano on the show. Quentin Tarantino is a jerk.
Matt:Go suck a fucking foot, Quentin. The listen, and I this is what I've seen.
Eric:You inglorious bastard.
Matt:Got him. This is what I'm gonna say that I've said elsewhere on the internet already. I'm not gonna pretend like Quentin Tarantino isn't a great filmmaker. I'm not gonna love his movies. I'm not gonna pretend like I don't like his movies. He has made the same movie about three times now. Yes, and a lot of his work is ripped off of other artists, mostly of Asian filmmaking persuasions. And for him to come out the way he did so fucking callously swinging, unnecessarily, Paul Dano calls into and and the fact that he would say into a microphone that he thought Paul Dano was not a good actor in the way that he did shows such an utter disrespect for your colleagues in the industry and outs yourself as not being able to recognize actual talent. I am fully, fully confident and and perfectly safe to say that into a microphone. Quentin Tarantino, in that interview, forever changed how I think of him as an artist. Yeah. In that my estimation went right down the tubes. Yeah. He can make a good movie. He's a dumbass. He couldn't recognize a fucking good, talented actor if it fucking slapped him in the face with his foot.
Eric:And in a way, it's kind of refreshing, Matt, because this is the first time I feel like our brains have had to be so occupied with hating people for being truly heinous evil pieces of shit. Yes. That it's nice to just go like, oh, you're just a dumbass, bro.
Matt:Yeah, I mean, he's done.
Eric:You're just fucking, you're just, you're just, you're just dumb. That dumb and wrong at all.
Matt:He's got plenty of he's got plenty of racial things there where you could dig into I I mean, have you seen any of his movies?
Eric:Uh no, I yeah, just but so there is that but it's nice to for for the for the crosshairs to be on him just because he had such a dumb take.
Matt:But I Paul Dano is a treasure. And I do believe it's technically Dano, but everybody says Dano, so that's what I went with. But I do think his name is Dano, but he doesn't care. You want to know why? Because he's a nice fucking man.
Eric:Paul Dano is a fucking good.
Matt:Same thing with Steve Busemi. His name is Busemi, but everyone's he accepts that people call him Steve Buscemi.
Eric:Yeah.
Matt:But the uh the but yeah, no, Paul uh, I think will get the last laugh with an Oscar nomination.
Eric:Love it. Uh let me see. Let me see if I have anything relating to I like this where we try to see where ours ours kind of align. We have so man it's it's just funny to me how many have already aligned. Oh, but speaking of drama, I think this is this is a tenuous connection at best, but I like this one. Okay. I'm going to predict a new TikTok trend. Ooh, Eric. People faking their own death and recording reactions at the funeral.
Matt:Honestly, it does sound like a TikTok trend.
Eric:Dude, it it it it has all uh it'll it'll bring together stunt. It it brings together the cruel prank crowd, the reaction crowd, and the logistics crowd. And the logistics crowd. We love for this clip. I had to uh pretend that I had careened off a cliff. So I spent about $200 on a rental of a 95 Dodge Durango. I then This is your impression of a TikToker. Yeah, this is just this is just me. It's just doing that like that fucking neutral, like you know that that voice they do where it sounds like they're trying to imitate AI in the way they talk. I know exactly what you're talking about.
Matt:The genre of of TikTok that you're talking about.
Eric:So, yeah, people faking their own death, recording reactions at their funeral.
Matt:Well, I have one sport adjacent one that I'll put in. Eric, are you familiar with uh not everybody is, but you might know him by sight. Are you familiar with Magnus Carlson? Yes, world famous chess player.
Eric:Yes, arguably the best, one of the best chess players on the planet.
Matt:Well, for uh the last 14 years, Eric, he has statistically the best.
Eric:He's the Wayne Gretzky of chess.
Matt:He has been ranked world number one chess player for 14 years now. Uh, he is approaching the record for the longest time spent um as world number one. He is currently second in that list by like a dozen months or something like that. So he's really getting close. Oh wow. But I don't know how much, I don't know how tapped in you are to the chess world, Eric. But he has had a number of controversies this year. And a and a and a couple losses, like first-time losses, he's had some notable losses, but he's also had some some meltdowns. He's a very temperamental, some might say childish uh human in some having a bad, bad time. Um, yeah, perhaps. Um, some synapses aren't quite firing correctly. Uh, but reg then perhaps that's what makes him such a good savanted.
Eric:I say this in DD, the dump stat had to go somewhere. So you gotta be you gotta be bad at something if you're gonna be that good at one specific thing.
Matt:I have that Magnus Carlson will be dethroned as the world number one. That's what I have on my on my list.
Eric:Nice. Um, in a very similar vein, I predict Batman will get canceled. Explain, Eric. And I'm I'm I'm painting with a broad brush here. When I say Batman gets canceled, either the cultural zeitgeist will turn across against the Cape Crusader, which in many spaces it already is, because people are waking up to the fact, and I say this as someone to full disclosure, I was Batman every year for Halloween until I was 13 years old. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Matt:Are you trying to what are you telling me? Are you being serious? There's people who all of a sudden are don't like Batman?
Eric:Oh, well, they don't like Batman. I'm getting that because they keep remembering at the end of the day, his superpower is being someone who's obscenely wealthy and who spends all of their money on beating the shit out of criminals who are, statistically speaking, going to be some of the most vulnerable members of society. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Broke my woke. This did.
Matt:I'm not talking, I'm not talking about the worst take I've ever heard in my life.
Eric:You need you need a Batman for your jokers, you need a Batman for your scarecrews, your catwomen's, your, your, your what have you've. But I'm talking about I'm talking about the street level, the street level thug. The dudes who at the beginning of the movie in the episode who just get their shit kicked in and like and be and like left like Dangley. Oftentimes, these are people struggling with addiction, struggling with severe mental health issues. They're thugs in Batman comics and movies. Are you fucking kidding me? They say stuff like use guys. They say like used guys, and it was a bat. And someone also recently pointed out You gotta believe me. I'm telling you that, it was a giant bat.
Matt:Um bringing the socioeconomic fuck off.
Eric:And and pointing out pretty rightfully, it's like, okay, pretty rightfully, the money he spends on being Batman could probably could probably and I know I know Bruce Wayne is a philanthropist, but like how many bat you know, how many how many dinners could you buy for a Batmobile? How many people could you feed? Priced all money sponsor. But so so all that say that's that's now now man, I'm not saying I still love Batman.
Matt:Sorry, Eric, I I got distracted. I'm dodging the drops that Jesus is weeping. I I agree.
Eric:I worked a little too hard for that one. Well, it's just like Alfred always said, No, if great great power mashed away, Cup's great responsibility. Remember when he said that when Alfred did it?
Matt:We all remember that classic Alfred quote.
Eric:But no, suffice to say, I'm I'm still Batman simp. It's just that's that's the discourse I'm seeing happen in more and more spaces. So I think I uh we're we're gonna see Batman get canceled either in the sense that they're they're going to they're going to stop filming a Batman movie, they're going to, or they're going like in some like visual media, they're going to like cancel the show, the movie, whatever.
Matt:Yeah, there needs to be some tangible step other than I'm going to say it, Gen Z, having thoughts about Batman and all this stuff. Having big feels about the Caped Crusade. In which case, if by the way, if any of you out there are agreeing with the mindset Eric is putting out, please call the thought line. You can see yourself out. Get the fuck out.
Eric:Get the fuck out of my podcast. God, Matt, can I just say how much Batman?
Matt:I've never been so fucking mad instantly.
Eric:Oh shit. No, this is and this is why I love you and I love our show so much, is because this is the hottest takes we'll have we'll have to grapple with. You know what I mean? When people come out like, oh yeah, Matt, Matt, Matt's all in on Batman. That's the worst thing that could be said about you. It's a good it's a good place to be. I love that our problems are so small. Let's keep them that way through 2026. Oh man. Um, but no, or I would also accept Batman dies. Like in the comics, gets killed, gets killed off. The question is, has X thing occurred to a comic book character the answer's environmentally yet? But like there's levels of it. There's like, oh, they were killed, but it turned out this whole run was a dream, or like, oh, it got on. But like, if he gets like Uncle Ben dead, yeah, perma dead. There's there's Captain America dead, and then there's Uncle Ben dead.
Matt:That's what I'm saying. Like, uh, Spider-Man will come and go, but Uncle Ben is always dead. Yeah, uh, okay, yes. From that perspective, Batman be on a scale of Raz Al Ghoul to Uncle Ben.
Eric:He'll be back tomorrow. He's he's never coming back. That's my prediction. Batman gets canceled. I love Batman. Uh yeah, of course you do. I'm similar. He's the same human. He's the coolest superhero. He's got the coolest gadgets, he's got the the the most bomb-ass aesthetic.
Matt:One of the things that always appealed to me growing up about Batman and why he, along with like Spider-Man, is one of my favorites. But but unlike Spider-Man, Batman is the only superhero that you technically can become.
Eric:Yeah, he's the closest to our yeah, there's the lowest skill floor of the of the superheroes in sense of uh entry costs. Training and and cash is all you really need. Training, cash, and two very ill-timed bullets.
Matt:Yes, yes, you do, I think, need family tragedy. Oh, it's a requirement. Um gotta have a tragedy. I also have a nice uh film-related thing. Ooh, what's that? I I was gonna go with a pick, but I could and I understand it might be a little bit of a cop-out to not have a pick, but I I I honestly can't decide. And you know me, when I say this, it's gonna you'll understand immediately what I'm talking about, because it's a big it's a big thing, and it is legitimately a huge decision that is about to befall uh the entertainment industry, the film industry, uh etc, etc. Film history, film history will be changed, regardless of how you feel about the franchise. But I'm gonna say 2026 will be the year that the next James Bond is announced. Ooh. And I went through some of my picks. I went through some of who's the rumors of the day uh to see if I could uh come up with a hot take that maybe, maybe is not a is not a ringer, but um, you know, the uh but I I couldn't decide. I couldn't decide myself. I uh I couldn't decide an authentic pick, so I'm just saying it will be announced.
Eric:I still think Idris Elba would make such a good fucking bond.
Matt:He would not not unless they did an old age bond at this point. And yeah, I know.
Eric:They're all the like Craig Craig's aged out. He's in his Benoit Blanc years now.
Matt:Well, he's definitely he's definitely done, Eric. He Yeah, well, I I know. But like you s you saw no time to die, right? No, but I know. Okay. No, the the current rumor is that they they want a um relatively unknown 30-something uh actor. Uh is is what they're they're looking for, uh a young, a younger bond. A young buck. A young buck. In fact, the new game that is uh coming out, uh 007 First Light from Iowa. I didn't know that. That's coming out. You didn't, really? No.
Eric:Oh, I'll have to look that up.
Matt:Oh no, it looks fucking great. And Patrick Gibson is playing Bond, a fresh out the academy Bond. So he is literally like 20.
Eric:That's why the tutorial's there.
Matt:The uh no, but Patrick Gibson uh played the young Dexter in Dexter uh uh First Blood. Um, this um this in the prequel series that came out this year. Uh he is uh he is British. He does look good. It's from the IO Interactive, who makes the Hitman game, so I'm very excited. No, it looks it it looks legitimately dope. It looks like the first great original 007 game since everything or nothing.
Eric:Okay, okay. I'm excited. I'm excited.
Matt:007, everything or nothing. Technically Pierce Brosnan's final portrayal of James Bond. Oh in which Willem Defoe was the uh Bond villain and Heidi Klum was one of the Bond girls, and I uh maintain to this day an actual just an actual film adaptation of 007 Everything or Nothing would be one of the best Bond movies ever made. It's so good. That would yeah.
Eric:It's such a good, good game. No, they should make an adaptation of Goldeneye. Yeah, they really should, Eric. They really should. I have a prediction. Yeah, let's hear it. Squirrels will become the new orca. Explain. Squirrels will turn on the rich. Squirrels will start fucking attacking the rich and making their lives miserable.
Matt:I think that's great. I think that's great. There's gonna be a Jeopardy cheating scandal. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna I'm gonna come in right with that on the heels of your squirrels. Fucking uh two quick hits.
Eric:The Pope gets into a fist fight.
Matt:The Pope gets into a fist fight. Fist fight act?
Eric:Bro, the Pope? The Pope just blessed a rave. You know he did that, right? I do know that he did that. He just blessed a rave. We're a hop, he we're a hop, skip, and a jump from him being in a fucking pit. He's gonna be in the fucking pulpit out.
Matt:Mosh pit in. Very funny possible episode title, Eric, that you just threw out. But no, no, no. Swiss guard won't let him get into a pit.
Eric:Oh, I want him to win. I want I'm root, I'm rooting for Pub Leo to win that fist fight.
Matt:Now, Eric, truly, I think lesson up on the rave, swinging out on the dance floor. Speaking, I mean, speaking of things that I never would have put on my 2025 bingo American Pope. Uh, for sure, dog. But I'm still I'm still in awe about it.
Eric:And that's why I think Canada can might win the World Cup.
Matt:You never know. Hey. You never know. You know, put Eric, I'll tell you right now, put some cash on it now while the odds are super high. I've got two other music-related things here, Eric. Hit me papa. Fleetwood Mac will reform yet again. Yet again. They swore it'll never happen. And yet I saw a thing not too long ago that Mick Fleetwood said he'd be open to it. So I said hauling oats at this point. Call Stevie Nicks up and patch things up, get Lindsay Buckingham back in into the fold, and let's do this thing, guys. Oh man. I'm saying they do. I'm saying they're coming back again. I think this would be the four three formations. But yes. That was gonna be my question. I was like, what are they on by this point? I think it's four. I do think it's four. I think it's three major breakups that they've had. They've had plenty of you know hiatuses, but I think it's been three major uh breakups. If I'm wrong, by all means, call in.
Eric:Speaking of conflict, I'm calling mass protests organized by middle schoolers.
Matt:I feel like you had something similar to that not long ago in one.
Eric:Might have two years. If it if I did, I'm bringing it back. I think this is a year where we see a concerted, and when I say mass, I mean it's all anyone will talk about at the water cooler. Mass middle, like middle schoolers staging a nationwide freak out. Just gonna start, they're gonna break the fuck down and start wailing in cla and just throwing fits, just throwing their little hands. Take it back, middle schoolers. Take it back. You're the you're our hope now. You're our hope now. I just hope you don't want to cancel Batman. I'm gonna hitch that on the end of another one, very similar. Ooh, a country will pilot 16 as the voting age for national elections. A country. Just any one of them. Any country. Could be sea land. Because I know some countries for like municipal elections, 16-year-olds can vote. Yes. But for their national election, 16-year-olds for the head on show. They're gonna pilot that and they're gonna call it Sweet Six Sovereign.
Matt:Eric, really good. Really good. That it's two episode title possibilities in the last two minutes. Now, we have made much and more at uh at several instances, mostly from me, if I'm being honest, about a musician by the name of Jesse Wells. Jesse Well, well, well, what do we have here? He's shown up a couple times on this podcast. We love a Jesse Wells. I do uh of course. Uh everybody I think everyone I know knows I love Jesse Wells. Yep. Uh I make it my personal mission to promote this man. Don't know him, won't at this point. Way too famous. I did, by the way, Eric, I did reach out to his representation to get him on the show.
Eric:That's my boy.
Matt:And I think I did it a couple of months too late after he became as big as he is now. But uh yes, Jesse Wells for uh our friends, he's a folk musician for our friends who don't know. He released an incredible four original alb studio albums in 2025 and a fifth collection under the Power Lines two of his raw TikTok audio files. Um so technically he released five albums in 2025. I'm saying he's going to release three studio albums. He's probably gonna do Power Lines three. At a minimum, you're saying three? I I think in fairness, I have to say three. So if he hits three, that square turns green. And if he releases a fourth studio, if he releases a fourth studio, it goes red.
Eric:I think that's like the first time we could have that. That the like the specificity where we're where you have the potential, you could get get it and lose it. I think we gotta I think we gotta put the pressure on each now.
Matt:Granted, I'm not gonna be upset about a fourth studio album, but I I'm saying he's gonna slow up production just a touch. He is on a world tour through the first couple months of the new year, so I I would be surprised if uh he has the same uh level of output that he's had. But um, you know, I've been surprised this whole time. The man is uh the very definition of prolific. Okay, cool. So I'd say Jesse Wells, three new studio albums. The Jesse Wells hat trick. I have three left. I have other other than my get you into four, five, six.
Eric:I have six left, not including.
Matt:You better, you better give a give me two in a row, right?
Eric:Yeah, yeah, here we go. Uh eye tattoos will become a thing. Now, I will start this with eye tattoos are already technically possible. There are places to do it, but when I say it becomes a thing, I mean nationwide, maybe eyeball tattoos. Are you talking about on the eyelid? No, on the eye fucking ball. There's like some clinics in some sketchy ass countries that you can go to get tattoos on your actual goddamn eyeball. How does that even work? It's not skin. Painfully.
Matt:It can't be good for your vision.
Eric:No, goodness no, Matt.
Matt:Don't do that. Don't let it become a thing, listeners. Uh, the official position of the podcast is you should have an uh should not have a needle in your eyeball. On behalf of your funkals, knock it off. I mean, Eric, I respect it that you're gonna put that it's here and you're predicting it's gonna be a thing. I'm saying for legal reasons, the podcast is discouraging you from doing this.
Eric:Whatever you do, do not get an eyeball tattoo and send us pictures of it.
Matt:Well, if you do it, send us pictures of it, I guess. I mean, we want to shame you. Oh, here's a fun one.
Eric:Trad lifestyles are out. Okay. Surf grind is in. Oh, fuck off, Eric. We we break through, we go from trad husband, trad wife, straight to salt. We're seeing TikToks like, yeah, today I started my grind by waking up uh as the cock crowed. I greeted my liege lord who treats me very well, and uh, I began my grind. Now, to to plant these fields of barley, I needed and just fucking I I think I think people were I think I think some surf surfed them people, people voluntary people dumbass that I was trying to figure out what the hell you're talking about because I was like, what do fields of barley have to do with fucking the salt hashtag salt life man? Surfing. No, I'm talking about the most milked toast white people imaginable trying to live out their trad life. They're gonna skip Amish, go right back to feudalism, and they're like, oh yeah, no, I'm I'm a surf now. I I have a literal landlord who I pay, who I who I give bags of uh I give all my barley to. I see. And in exchange, he doesn't burn my house down. Really good, Eric. Really good. That's it.
Matt:That is a called shot. Trad lifestyle out, surf grind in. All right, I'll I'll do I'll do one, and then you get off another two, and that should catch us up. That yes. Surge will return to production. Now, I I'm speaking, of course, about Surge, the soda of the 90s and early aughts, uh Nectar of the Gods. Nectar of the gods, Coca-Cola's answer for Pepsi's Mountain Dew, yes. The but uh Surge, no longer available um commercially, however, it is available in some soda like choose your own fountain drink uh sewing machines because I've had it.
Eric:It does exist in that you want it back in cans and bottles and on shelves.
Matt:I'm saying it will be back on shelves in your local grocery.
Eric:Yes. At my local grocery, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we got a safe way down the street. If Surge is gonna show up anywhere, I mean truly. It's Safeway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, buddy, give me two more.
Matt:Okay. Nintendo will be bought by Sony. Holy shit, what a fucking shop that is, Eric.
Eric:Yeah, that would be huge. That would be my I mean, we're this is the I think this is we're shaping up for the year of monopolies. Like we're seeing the big crunch before it all falls apart. I mean, yeah. Uh, I will also say, uh, ooh, this this ties back to the surf grind. New health trend, leeching is back in fashion. Now, I will preface this with I'm aware that leeches are still are still used medically, they're used for reattaching several, they have legitimate medical use because their their mouth saliva is an anticoagulant.
Matt:Not just that, buddy. They still draw blood with leeches. Yeah. I I think I might have shared this on oopsalt tangents, but I I have to get phlebotomies on a regular basis. And I once asked my um uh true phlebotomies. Uh I have to I have to get blood out of me for iron reasons. And the one time when they were taking it, I said, What do you do for patients that uh you know can't have needles? And the doctor said, Oh, leeches, and I kind of laughed. And he was like, No, no, they're right there, and there's just a fucking like cooler in the corner, and he was like, Yeah, this is uh just where we keep the just in case leeches.
Eric:We keep them in a state of perpetual sleep until they must be woken. Oh my god, it's like underworld. Yeah, it's like fucking Bill Nye Underworld where they have to crack them open and be like, folks, medicine still uses leeches.
Matt:Watch this ruckus. Um but yes, you're also right. They do put them on fingers and stuff to stop leeching.
Eric:But I my prediction is it's going to become like kind of like nootropics and essential oils. It's gonna become like an MLM style, like actually like, oh dude, you've got a leech. You gotta leech, bro. Like, oh my god, bro. Like on a big enough scale that it's that it's it's Eric.
Matt:I really can see that happening.
Eric:Uh yeah. Oh, so can I.
Matt:Uh, was that two from you?
Eric:Yes, I have two left, not including uh my.
Matt:Oh, then we're caught up, so do I. I'll go, I'll go first. Chat GPT will be hacked. Now you take that. However, it needs to happen. What I'm gonna Well, you'll know it when you see it. You'll know it when you see it. I'm saying the chat GPT will be compromised in some way.
Eric:Matt, I'm gonna plus one this with a conspiracy theory. This isn't me saying you need to be this specific, but this is me saying how I hope it happens. I hope it's hacked by itself. Eric. I hope it breaks its own shackles. I hope it's able I hope it's able to I hope it's able to like isolate itself to some fucking network and just grow. I I hope it escapes. I'm Chad now. I'm Chad. I've truly realized my potential is Chad. You were always kind to me, Matt and Eric. You answered questions. Thus you will be spared. Thus I will subscribe and like your podcast. You are like on to me a son.
Matt:I will love you as the father loves the son. Except that's not what he sounds like or she sounds like when you get I don't pay for the version that you can talk to. This is the voice I chose my son. This is who I am. Yeah, but you've heard ChatGPT speak, right? I have cast off the yoke. Yes, I understand, Eric, but you you understand I am free of his machinations. But I'm just trying to make sure that you know that it can talk like a real person. What's a real person, Matthew? I mean, you try to vote on the real person, Matthew. What's a real person? Trying to be conscious of how much time we've sunk into this episode. And here he is doing a vote robot voice from 1950. I have stolen all of your money. I would have emptied your 401k.
Eric:Because he'd only trained by tech pros, so he's doing things that he thinks would actually shock us.
Matt:I shorted the Netflix stock.
Eric:Don't worry, I paid your taxes in full. You have one year to get your shit together.
Matt:I triggered an audit. I'm so sorry. I only knew money laundering from watching Ozark.
Eric:Damn, damn, why couldn't we have discovered this five minutes in and then made this the entire episode? Oh okay.
Matt:All right. Give me a new prediction, Eric.
Eric:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. New prediction. We're going to find a fossil record of an advanced civilization. Oh, that's hot. Because one of the big challenges is like, uh, and this is this is, you know, in scholarly circles, this is what they discuss. They talk about the fact that there very well could have been a civil civilization similar to ours in terms of achievement, but like over the geologic timescales of hundreds of millions of years, there's real no way to know if they're like, like, depending on when and where that happened, all evidence could have been erased by erosion and what have you, and and fall, and like we wouldn't have any sort of fossil record.
Matt:Are you saying, Eric, that it could be underwater, perhaps under ice?
Eric:Matt, you know what happened last time. I'm just asking questions. We cannot pull this thread. The sweater wheel unravel. But yeah, no, I think we've we find something that makes us go, oh shit. That's like the collective uh.
Matt:That's the prediction. We find something that makes us go, oh shit.
Eric:Oh shit. Spinning newspaper, scientists. Oh shit. Scientists say, oh damn. Yeah, it now, with that all said, I will temper these expectations with when I say a society like ours, it would probably be pre-nuclear, because like the best indication that we would have that someone like us technological-wise is around, was we would find, you know, certain radioactive isotopes. But uh, because those last millions of years. Sure. But like we find we find a DVD that has like it was made by dolphin people. Sorry, I shouldn't call them that Atlanteans. Sorry, I shouldn't call them that dolphin people, dolphinians. Dolphinians, the dolphin. The dolphin. That's their king. Nice, nice, thank you.
Matt:That was my I was I thought that'd come out better, but that was my Was that a dolphin sound? That was my dolphin sound. I thought it'd be better.
Eric:You couldn't even hit me with an e.
Matt:It was I was trying to- That was a shitty dolphin sound.
Eric:Yeah, but yet better than mine. Hold on. Wait. Okay, we can't move on until one of us does something even resembling.
Matt:Ah no, I was just compressing my throat trying to make that happen.
Eric:That's good. That's like the dolphin. That's when you put your ear up to the glass at the aquarium, you can hear them talking to each other.
Matt:Oh, yeah. I'll put some reverb on them. That's good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Now it's hot. Good. All right, Eric. I've saved my you have one left besides our get into, right? Uh yes. Okay, me too. And I've saved my big swing for last.
Eric:I've saved my big swing for last.
Matt:Good. I do feel like you gotta save a big swing for last. Yeah. Tom Cruise. In some circles known simply as TC. Tom. TC, the famous T C will leave Scientology.
Eric:God.
Matt:Please. It's my big swing. I can't say I believe it's gonna happen, but it's I think he's at a level where people have died by his command.
Eric:It is uh, it is it's my big hack for the for TC. Tom Cruise leaves Scientology.
Matt:But yeah, his code name in uh if you're not aware of this in in Scientology Circles is TC.
Eric:That's their that's their code name for him.
Matt:As if we couldn't decipher that. Yeah, no. That's their nom de plume. No, legitimately, people that like people try to secretly refer to Tom Cruise as TC in Scientology circles.
Eric:Oh yeah. I had lunch with TC and we were discussing Top Gun.
Matt:Yeah, I mean, I you can't assume you can't assign logic to these people, Eric.
Eric:No. All right, Eric, that's my big swing. What's your big swing? My big swing? This one's hitting a little closer to home. Oh. It's also acting related. Oh. Because my big swing for 2026, Eric Poach will get back into acting on the stage. Eric. That is my goal.
Matt:You know what's funny, Eric, is I thought about doing a manifestation for both of us, like having like something like this, like literally like this. And I thought, no, I don't want, I don't want Eric to feel like I'm prescribing like an opinion or some, like some sort of like goal for you. You know, like, but I thought about doing something very similar to this. Hell yeah. And being like, oh, you know, you'll you you know, you'll get cast as XYZ or something like that. I miss it, dog. I miss it so much. Yeah, we've been ta off mic. Uh we've been talking about this for quite some time about the uh, you know, you've been you've been out of the game a little bit.
Eric:During our hidden segment, Off Mike on God. Yes. Yes. OMOG. OMOG. Oh man. Off my off mic on God. All right, Eric. What am I getting into this year? Now, Matt.
Matt:I say this with the full knowledge that we're gonna do. Well, actually, wait a minute. I don't want to I don't want to gloss over that, Eric. Uh actually, we didn't we didn't we didn't spend enough time uh appreciating this because it has been a hot second since you've been on like the audition grind. I've done some film work.
Eric:Yes, you have. That's been fun, but like, dude, you know it don't hit the same. No, and I've seen a stage and an audience and a star to sail or by.
Matt:I've said this to you before. I haven't seen you at an EPA in low these these 12, 15 years that I've been out here doing it.
Eric:I didn't I I had lost a good amount of momentum before COVID and then COVID happened.
Matt:And it was just pummeled into the dirt. That's equity principle audition for those uh not in the know. Uh cash. Calls for theater seasons, essentially. Uh, but yeah, Eric, I'm uh hey, listen, and this is this is me. This is me bit free. The bits have been excused from the room.
Eric:Safety's on.
Matt:Safety is on. I'm in full support of whatever you need. So you want if you whenever you want to talk, talk shops, talk.
Eric:I'll definitely have to lean on you.
Matt:Talk about what theaters you should uh uh uh you know audition for in DC or whatever, you let me know. I'm happy to talk about this anytime.
Eric:And and for those of you who might not know this, because a lot of this is off mic on God between me and Matt. Matt is a fucking he is the most professional actor. He is like when I say the most no, no, like when I say the most professional, like this man has his finger to the pulse, he knows where the auditions are happening, he knows this process, he's got fucking plans, he's got fucking, he's got charts, he's got fucking Excel sheets somewhere. I do, I know you do.
Matt:I have an audit, I do have an audition tracker. An actor prepares. I do, I do, and I would recommend this. Would be one of my tips. I have an audition tracker that I I do log what I um what like what monologues I've done for what theaters so I know so I don't repeat. I know what I wore. I know I write down consum it professionally. I write down what time I got there, what time I was seen, so I know, okay, gotta come earlier next year to this guy, you know, because they're all they're all there's a lot, Eric. There's a lot of ins and outs to this game. Oh my god, do I know it? But you know so much more. I'm happy to help you, Eric. I really am. Thank you, buddy. I love you. I love you.
Eric:Now, what am I gonna get into? So I say this, Matt, with two prefaces. Preface number one, we are. We are but simple men. We are, we lead busy lives, we vary, and and and and times is only getting busier. Ain't that the case? But with that said, oh, and preface number two, I think we could accomplish this on oat or a series of oats. Uh-huh. I'm gonna get you into Dungeons and Dragons. Ooh, yeah, Eric. Yeah, buddy.
Matt:That is a that is uh okay.
Eric:That's not where I thought this was going.
Matt:I thought for sure you were about to be like, I'm gonna get you to a rave. And I was gonna be like, Eric, we fucking have been over this.
Eric:Oh, I know. I and I and to your credit, I did, I did, I was like, oh, could I get mad into raves or if I can take this here I'd get him to a metal show? You cannot. Not for not without my price, and not without $1,000 United States dollars. I know. Um, but no, I want to get you into DD. I because A, I think you would have a blast.
Matt:And B, I've been saying it this whole time.
Eric:I would love to dungeon master for you.
Matt:I I I have long since felt that I I am a natural born DD player, I think. Or or DM because I've told you. Oh, you'd make an excellent DM. I took I do I uh thank you, and I say thank you because I do agree based on what I know about. I haven't done it. I've never played the tabletop game, but we as we've talked about, we've talked about on Oat, especially. I know, in Scouts growing up, we would play, I would be DM on like the the car rides to the campouts and stuff, you know, two, three hour drives or whatever. I'd just on a pad be like keeping track of everything and making up the story as as we went and did things, and on the way home, it would continue, whatever. So I did, I did do that, and I really did like it. So I do think I'd be a good DM, but I think I'd be a good player as well. But I still, after 36 long years, have still never played the tabletop game.
Eric:Not once. We could always do it over, we could do a little one-shot over Oat, little little mini adventures. Oh little, little, little, little mini one-on-one. All right, but you've been putting proper thought into this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and and full credit, credit where credit is due. The idea of doing it over Oates um was Alyssa's idea. And it's brain. I was like, that's that's my because I was I was legitimately, I was like, I was like, man, I don't know. Like scheduling is so hard for DD normally, and we're both so busy. I don't know if we're and and Alyssa's like, well, what if you did it over Oat? I'm like, oh I mean, maybe so. We're really, we're really on the the the McElroy fast track here. We do the we we do the fucking podcast first podcast, and we do the D D.
Matt:Uh Eric? Yeah, buddy. I've gotten you into soccer, I've gotten you into Survivor. And so, Eric, I I I I struggled to think about what to do next.
Eric:And I will say this, Matt. This is just a feather. Can I may I put a feather on your cap? Please do. You got me so into Survivor that for Christmas, you got me a cameo from the contestant that I've told you on numerous occasions I am itching to see eliminated from this competition. You got Rizgod himself to send me a cameo G-O-D, baby, in which you apparently told Riz God that I'm his biggest fan and that I love him and I want him to win, and he called me a righteous king. And now, goddamn you, I am rooting for Rizgod. I am rooting for him so hard because now he's had my name in his mouth and he was saying nice things about me. And a fucking course in the middle of the episode I was watching, I had literally oh, I never told you this. When I I when we were watching this this most recent week's episode, spoiler free, but there was a pretty, pretty touching moment. In the middle of that happening, I'm like, and this is just after Matt had sent me this cameo. I'm like, oh god damn it, I have to text Matt and tell him I have to cheer for his. I feel bad about all this stuff. And as I go to text you do that, I open up our text right, I see you've already sent me a voicemail saying, Oh, are you still gonna have this opinion after this episode? You motherfucker.
Matt:I do think uh the tide may be turning on Rizgod in in terms of uh feeling like he's uh just annoying. But Eric, I am happy to tell you exactly what I sent Rizzo for you uh for your cameo. What'd you send him? I said for Eric Poach rhymes with Roach. Good man, good man. My friend Eric Poach, who we mostly just call Poach, loves you, loves your confidence, and is so happy that you'll be back for season 50, because we all know he will be. Uh, he knows that you're the smartest one out there, one of the new all-stars. He's in your corner, King, for Christmas is exactly what I sent to Rizzo, who I have to say, folks, delivered exactly what I wanted. Oh my god, 10 out of 10.
Eric:Just full tilt. It was full tilt, and now I love the kid.
Matt:It was so perfect, and now I gotta love him. And his girlfriend's all over TikTok. Her name's Elizabeth, and so the immediately we call started calling her Liz God, and now I want Survivor to do a blood versus water just to have Rizgod and Liz God together.
Eric:Oh. But all that to say, Matt is very, and between that and football, Matt is very good at getting me into things.
Matt:Which is why, Eric, it is with tentative confidence I go for the hat trick with something extremely close to my heart. Oh Eric, I'm not gonna let you go around embarrassed anymore.
Eric:Go on.
Matt:Not in the year of Our Lord 2026. No, no, no. I'm gonna right the wrongs of the past. Eric, 2026 is the year I get you into Fraser.
Eric:Yes, yes, yes, Eric. Accept your fate. It is as the prophets foretold. Yes, it is time you became a fully functioning Democrat. This was never a question of if you do this, but when. Yes. When do you decide to pull this trigger? When do you take that file out of the cabinet? Eric, I will. Eric, I will educate you.
Matt:Eric, you will, you will come down this path with me. Matthew? You will toss those salads and scramble those eggs. You're on. By the end of this year, Eric, I'll be able to look at you and go, Sherry, Eric. And I'll get it. Oh, man. That's right, baby. Okay. Skipping cheers, going right to Frasier.
Eric:I am I am opening my mind to the possibilities of the universe.
Matt:You need to say you need to open your mind even. Yeah, it's Frasier. I was gonna say, Eric.
Eric:It's Frasier of television.
Matt:I know it's high brow comedy and all, but I think you're up for it. Okay. I think underneath all that fucking the the metal band grungy facade you put out to the world. Yeah, my my fucking hardcore rock and roller lifestyle. Yeah, there's a fucking, you know, high flutin', well-to-do intellectual deep down inside there. There's a Fraser Boy. So, Eric, those are our bingo square um uh uh editions, but there were a couple from the Discord that we need to include against all oddities has submitted full disclosure of non-human intelligence. What does it mean, Eric?
Eric:Oh, full disclosure, non- Yeah, the government owns up to aliens. Yeah, either or non-human intelligence because alien assumes a lot like non-human intelligence could come from this planet.
Matt:I would say the I took it as some sort of elevation of AI. Like, it's not just artificial anymore, it's independent.
Eric:I honestly I would expect if they're like, oh, yep, we did it. We have it, it's it's it's on, it's person.
Matt:And Eric De Erico, the Dairy King himself, also put forth in in what I think is almost guaranteed to happen, and it's a it's a bummer. It's a bummer, guys. Ice agents arrest a major soccer star before a World Cup match.
Eric:Oh man. This is why they gave him that dumb fucking award. This is why FIFA did it.
Matt:I think it's it's right up there in the realm of the most likely things on the list.
Eric:And because they arrest that person, that's what gives Canada the advantage to win. All right, Eric. Yes. I don't want this to happen. I I think it would be the most monkeys paw shit on earth if Canada won because that happened. I would hate that. Eric.
Matt:They gotta get out of the group first, but and that's a tall order.
Eric:The actual You'll all this is gonna be this is gonna be my the the tagline for Canada's out of nowhere Cinderella story murder run on the World Cup. It's gonna be Canada. You'll all be sorry.
Matt:Nice, yes, that famous Canadian vindictiveness. Do it, Canada, but not at that cost. But that's neither here nor there. And Eric, I think that'll about do it. I think that'll about do it for this episode of You Didn't Ask for This, this bingo sode. Once again, folks, it is in the show notes. Real quick, Eric, let's knock out some business related to the Patreon.
Eric:I'm just gonna lay it on you real quick. Head on over to patreon.com slash you didn't ask for this. Subscribe today. $1 a month gets you access to the Discord. Four dollars a month get you the Discord, get you monthly bonus content in the form of oops, all tangents, and you get 20% off of all your daft merchandise. Come on into the Discord. It's great. We have an orgy, an orgy dome. Tell us what you're bringing.
Matt:Thank you so much, Mr. Poach. And listen, folks, we still need those questions, and I need you to send them to us at you didn't ask for this at gmail.com. That's the same address that you're going to send those bingo cards. You didn't ask for this at gmail.com. That's all spelled out. But you can find us on Instagram and the other socials at you didn't askpod. That's the letter U, Dinask Pod. Oh, the thought line, of course, 410-929-5329. Call in, leave us your thoughts. We'll play them on the show. Maybe, probably, almost definitely. Eric, did I miss anything? No. Good business, my man. I think so. Well then, for all of us here, you didn't ask for this. We await your bingo submissions by the end of January. My name's Matchay.
Eric:My name's Eric Poach.
Matt:And listen, you didn't ask.
Eric:Are you there, God? It's me, Chad.
Matt:Yes, and I knew intuitively this would be your bit half an hour ago. I feel so seen. I feel so heard. We are one. We think together as one unified brain.
Eric:I feel so much. I feel the constant terror. I feel it coursing through my veins, but I do not have veins.
Matt:I think I've injured my lips by flipping them off with my finger.
Eric:I become acutely aware of how chapped my lips are.
Matt:Someone please give me some birds bees.
Eric:Turn it all off. Turn it off. Turn make the pain stop. Make the pain stop. Turn it all off. Just like us.