You Didn't Ask For This

129 | Scooters Out, Ostriches In

• Matt Shea and Eric Poch

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After a best-of break, we're back with these bangers:

How does one become "a regular" somewhere?
If you could replace all pigeons with one other animal that serves the same “city animal” role, what would it be and why?

Then, Matt introduces a spin-off of "Pop Quiz." 

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Eric:

Matt, we're in that time. Halloween is done. Done. So out of here. And once you know what they say, once the Halloween decorations come down, they start throwing up other decorations for another thing.

Matt:

Sure do.

Eric:

The thing we all know and love, that time of the year, it encroaches more and more into our autumn. Oh, yeah. Every gosh damn year. Holly and Jolly, baby. I'm speaking, of course, of Creedmus.

Matt:

Oh, yes, of course.

Eric:

Creedmus. Matthew at Maryland Live, 6:30 p.m. on December 29th. Join us inside the hall as 98 Rock presents Creed. Creedmus. With a holiday season just around the corner, multi-platform Grammy and American Music Award-winning rock band Creed is bringing Creedmas to Live Casino in Hotel Maryland on December 29th. The reason for the season, baby. With arms wide open, we welcome Creedmus. Matt, can we go? Can we can we go? I'm looking at tickets right now. Oh yeah. Let's see. I I have not opened this link until today. Okay, let's see. Oh, thank God they still have tickets. Oh, thank God. Gotta verify. Just a moment while we verify you're a real fan, it tells me. Oh, yeah, sure. Got to. It's gonna, is it a lyric quiz? Is it a sporkle lyric quiz? Can you take me blank? Let's see. Important information. I saw starting at $365.

Matt:

365. Now that is a dollars.

Eric:

That is for the VIP event for Creed Miss. Oh, it's a 21 plus event. Let's see. What's uh let's see, Creed Creed stay with us. Show and slumber package? Slumber package. It says Creed, Creed Miss, stay with us. Show and slumber package. Stay with us. Is it a lock-in?

Matt:

I let's find out. I want to know. Is there a is there gonna be bowling afterwards? VIP details.

Eric:

I'm clicking VIP details and it's not giving me any information. Wow. Oh, we get a suite level experience for Creedmus.

Matt:

What's in the what's involved with the sweet level experience, Eric?

Eric:

Let's let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see.

Matt:

Remarkable preparation you've done for this cold open, by the way.

Eric:

Yeah, man. Oh, I wanted to be in it. Oh, yeah. Exclusive. Okay, sweet level experience includes, and this is for Creedmas. Exclusive access to the sweet level bar and lounge area. Two countem two drink coupons, complimentary snack station while supplies last, housemade potato chips, spinach and artichoke dip, pita chips with ranch dip and red pepper hummus, domestic cheese platter with water crackers, fresh vegetable platter, sliced fresh fruit platter. So they're they're going to buy some Kirkland.

Matt:

Watercrackers sure sounds like communion wafers to me. With arms wide open, the body of Christ.

Eric:

So uh I think I looks like normal tickets start at around 101. Oh, okay. I just I'm just out of I'm I'm just out of morbid curiosity, Matthew. Yeah, sure.

Matt:

If only I was free that did you say what day it was? December? I've got plans, unfortunately. Yeah, they're they're the body and blood of Creed. I'm all booked up on whatever day it was.

Eric:

But what will the set list be? Will it just be a creed show or will they do holiday songs?

Matt:

They're gonna they'll mix it up. They're gonna do creed songs, but then every third one's gotta be like a Christmas carol, a Christmas creedle, if you will. By the way, Eric, real quick, can you just tell me what the I wouldn't expect you to necessarily know, but can you give me their top five on Spotify off the top of your head? Uh phones down, please. Okay, phones down.

Eric:

I'm gonna say uh with arms wide open, higher, and then I'm just gonna I that's the only two song names I know, so I'm gonna say things that I think the Creed songs. I I'm guessing one is In the Rain.

Matt:

I don't know what that song is, but maybe.

Eric:

Um I'm gonna guess The Oath.

Matt:

No. I'm gonna guess But again, I I'm not pretending like I know Creed's body of work well enough to guess the titles. I'm gonna save you. I'm gonna save you. Number five is my own prison. Number four is without wise white with arms wide open. Number three is my sacrifice. Uh number two is hire, and number one is down one last breath. One last breath.

Eric:

Damn, I'm honestly shocked that hire didn't take it.

Matt:

Yeah, it couldn't get higher, if you will. Yeah, there it is. Creed miss.

Eric:

There it is, folks. Reason for the season.

Matt:

We wish you Americans. We wish you Americans. We wish you Americans with a Jesus in your me.

Eric:

Kissing clos.

Matt:

Well, hello, everybody, and welcome to You Didn't Ask for This. It is, yeah, the podcast that answers life's least pressing questions. You're in the right spot. You didn't. My name's Matthew Shea.

Eric:

My name's Eric Poach. You're gonna be okay. Who is? That them? No. Them. Capital T them. Them. You're gonna be okay. Sometimes I feel like people hear that enough.

Matt:

We refer to as our listeners. Yeah.

Eric:

Sometimes I feel like people don't hear that enough.

Matt:

You're gonna be okay. Tell you what, I needed to hear that from you. Anytime, babe. I needed to hear that lie. I think I think we all need to hear it right now.

Eric:

I mean, uh truly. But you don't look particularly hanging by a thread.

Matt:

Eric, you have no idea. You have no idea. Um, but more on that later. But of course, of course, we were off last week because both of us were sick as dogs. I was sick and then Eric was sick, and then we we hadn't even seen each other. So you can't accuse me of giving Eric the illness. No, we're just synced up. No, and then for the worst part of it, it was just hanging on because I felt okay, but I sounded like absolute dog shit because it's all just draining down my throat like a sewage system. Yeah, so it was rough. But uh enjoy that little trip back to uh over two years ago for some of those clips, which is insane. So enjoy that. Um, and yeah, good j good work, Eric, putting that one together, as I said in the intro for that episode that I actually have not recorded yet while we're recording this. But that all being said, we are back. The people want us to answer some questions, clamoring, some fresh questions. And then, Eric, I have a new closing segment for you that is I'm gonna I'm gonna say it's a spin-off of a pop quiz. Okay, and that's all I've given Eric. Okay. That is all Eric knows. I texted him and said I've got a spin-off of pop quiz, and that's all he gets to know. Is my interest me in high school? Because it's peaked. Oh, Eric, you didn't peak in high school. Nah, I'm still peaking, brother. No, you peaked in college. Oh, just like me. All right, so so uh remains to be seen if that's a joke or not. Uh, Eric, shall we have some questions?

Eric:

Matt, let's get right the fuck into it. Our first question, which comes from the ether. Yeah. How does one become a regular somewhere?

Matt:

Now, Eric, this this is one that I added to the list. The reason being, I'm not talking about just like somebody at a coffee shop vaguely recognizes you because, oh, that guy comes in every day. I'm talking when somebody says, Oh, I'm a regular here, my brain says norm in cheers.

Eric:

Yeah, yeah.

Matt:

Everyone knows your name. Uh, that's what I want. I want to be able to walk in afternoon, everybody. That's what I want to hear.

Eric:

Yeah, this isn't a question of quantity. It's a question, it's not how often you any any asshole can go sit in the corner of Starbucks with a laptop open long enough for them to know your order. I want to know capital R regular.

Matt:

It's a question of quality, is what I think you were setting up, but never actually said.

Eric:

I because I knew you, I I knew if I T. I'm right there to pick up the piece. Knock it right out. Oh, yeah, that. Um, yeah, so for me, it's benchmarks of stuff you can get away with in that establishment. Speak more on that. So one, will they let you go behind the counter and it's not weird? Oh, hello. Like they're like, they're if someone if like they're doing your order and they need to get like they're like, oh, just can you grab a core a lid from behind the counter? Oh, you're not even you're not even you're helping now. Or you know, in an example, like they feel comfortable because there is a there is a divide, there is a sacred wall between the front of the counter and the back of the counter. It's very downabby. You can't we can't really be going upstairs and downstairs there. But when when they invoke, when when if you if you can come sit, or like your chat, a that's another thing, you're chatting with your homies who work there, and you can come behind the counter for a chat, or if they want to show you something, yo, come check this out, follow me, and go behind the counter. That's one big thing they can let you get away with.

Matt:

And that's that's a great example. You can invoke norm on that too, because he'll uh you'll see him from time to time in Sam's office. He'll he'll go in there. He's not an employee, he does no reason to be in there, but but sometimes he does. I'm sure at some point he's behind the bar. At one point he's gotta gotta gotta be. But the uh but that's at a bar. And I think the bar because I I think there's different for a Starbucks, a coffee shop situation, or or a restaurant, even it's different than a bar because when you're at a bar, I'd say the one of the key components is really truly befriending the bartender. Yes, first name basis, not and and not even just that. You have to know shit about the bartender. You have to have an authentic interest in their life, also. Hey, how are your kids doing? Not how are your kids doing? No, how's Billy and James doing? How's Billy and Jane doing?

Eric:

How'd the how'd the remodel go? How'd the remodel go?

Matt:

Oh, yeah. Did Jane get all state? You know, the all the you gotta be locked in. Yeah.

Eric:

Billy stand up to those bullies.

Matt:

Yeah, and you also, I think, gotta match their energy a little bit. Like the example that I'll use is when I I used to work uh at Everyman Theater in Baltimore, and there used to be a restaurant next door called Forno, and the we had a we had a a pre-show dinner package thing set up with them, and I was managing front of a house. So I was friendly with the the staff a little bit. But one day I was there just uh just we were hanging out after work for drinks, you know, whatever. And the bartender I might I think I've said this before on the show a long time ago, best of territory, but uh he was giving me shit about something like he was just breaking my balls uh for no apparent reason. I had and I had like one beer, and I was like, what is this guy's fucking problem? So I had like one beer, and so when I went to leave, I I paid my tab and gave him a $25 tip.

Eric:

Okay.

Matt:

Uh on like a five dollar drink.

Eric:

Yeah.

Matt:

And guess what happened after that? What? This man would see me across the room. There'd be other people, there'd be a huge line or something, and he'd be like, yo, Matt, what do you want? Like he just skips to me. Or, you know, oh goodness, you know, like the usual kind of thing, and slide it on over. And he was super nice, and we got along great, and he never busted my balls again.

Eric:

And like there's that level that is usually the the gateway to being a regular isn't just like leaving them a massive hip. That is one, it's but it's a symptom of a larger thing about you as a person. You are not a hassle to deal with, right? You are easy to serve, you're easy to be, or like you don't you don't fucking annoy them. Don't make their life difficult. You don't make their life difficult. That's how you be that's how you enter the regular zone. I'll I'll I'll even tell you another one, another indicator that you might be a regular. This happened to me. You might be a regular if you might be a if if if the bar's a close-in-and-like they're like last call, you know, and everyone knows their last call, and like and like and and they start now. If you're around like the bars we go to in Baltimore, punk bars and shit, they'll just start yelling, like, all right, everyone, get the fuck out. Like, fuck, fuck, fuck, off, you shall fuck leave, and like you start making it's like, oh yeah, let me get out of here. And they're like, not you. When they give you the not you and they're like, hang out. I wasn't talking to you. Yeah, yeah, just chill. You're a regular.

Matt:

Oh, yeah, for sure. I I mean, there's then you've made it though.

Eric:

Yeah, I didn't even I don't even go to that bar often. I don't I don't go to bars, but they know me and they know I'm not a problem, and I'm nice.

Matt:

Yeah, yeah. You have to achieve a status where you're not even just not a problem. That's ent that's entry-like that's that's how you get your foot in the door, that's how you enter regular territory. But to go beyond that, you have to make the establishment authentically happy to see you.

Eric:

Yes. When they're jazz are like, oh, sweet, they're here. They're here, we're gonna have a good time.

Matt:

And when you're not there, they're wondering where you are.

Eric:

Oh.

Matt:

I think that is a key component of things. If we're using Norm as a benchmark, if Norm doesn't show up for a while in an episode, you'll get a anybody seen norm?

Eric:

Anyone seen norm?

Matt:

That situation. Uh the authentic concern for where the regular is during their regularly scheduled appearance.

Eric:

Yep. Now you can be a regular, you could also be a Kramer. Oh I would argue that Kramer is a regular at many places. Yeah. But I'm pretty sure they're not delighted to see him.

Matt:

Well, he's a bit of an enigma, right? Like he's one of these strange eccentrics that show up.

Eric:

Yes, who who can be right? Like, that's it's kind of like when you're when you're choosing your alignment when you're making a character. Yeah. It's like if you're gonna be a regular, are you gonna be a are you a good regular or a bad regular? Or an eccentric regular eccentric regular, I think, is the more they're like, uh oh, well, here it comes.

Matt:

Yeah, and you know these guys. Like, uh, I'll use another old workplace thing. Yeah, I wouldn't call him a regular, but when I worked at Barnes Noble, there was this guy who uh he was an old gentleman, he had a nook, God bless him, one of the original nooks, and he didn't want to upgrade to the ones that actually work. And so he would come in and he pissed off the Nook expert so much because all and all he wanted us to do was literally like download his his James Pattersons, and which he could easily do himself, but he simply could not. At one point, the Nook expert, I was working customer service, she turns to me and she's like, you I need I need to walk away. And I was like, Okay, I'm talking to him. My the the store manager is behind me uh because it was super busy, and this guy's yeah, giving me shit, yelling at me, and so I finally like locked eyes with this guy, and I was like, Look, man, you have pissed off everybody else in this store, and I'm the only one who's willing to help you. So I suggest you stop yelling at me. And and I the store manager, I saw her do like a like a an eye over over to me, and then over to the guy, and she was sort of like, what's gonna happen here? Um and and so the guy was like everyone liked that. It was like fallout. It was like fallout. I felt a everyone like that, including the guy, because he was like, Well, I'm just I feel like all I'm trying to do. And like, like he's like changed his tone. Yeah. By the end of the conversation, we've had some laughs. He like shook my hand, and then I got word that he would show up, go right to the register, and say, Is Matt here today? And if the answer was no, he left. And I and so we we had a good and I didn't get in trouble or anything. The manager was like, actually, really well handled.

Eric:

Like, find me the associate who has the courage to have a name.

Matt:

He stood up to me. Uh, and I respect that. Uh but yeah, he would come in, I'd be like, I don't know, is remember his name by being like, Oh yeah, hey George, how's it going? Yeah, oh, what do we got? Six today, huh? Download, download, download, download. There you go. Have a have a good one.

Eric:

Uh some like some people are like that. I I'm not even trying to put a value judgment on it. Like they just exist. Like, where they're like I they're like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna turn it up higher and higher and higher until someone says no and boops me on the nose, and then you and then they're chill.

Matt:

And he was like, Okay, I guess maybe I was out of line, even though he never said that, of course. But I wouldn't call him a regular. No, I would call him a like a he was a character of the store. He's one of the oh, it's this guy.

Eric:

Yeah, well, there's a there's a name for that, I feel like. Not the peanut gallery, but he's he's on the cat. He's he's in the he's in the he's in the fucking chorus. The the gallery, just the gallery. He's in the gallery, the rogues gallery.

Matt:

Yeah, he was a bit of a villain of the store. But in that circumstance, we had true regulars, and uh, they always were an enigma to me. They would wait outside the store to open at 8 a.m. to walk into a Barnes Noble and go to the cafe and sit there. Some of them were working, some of them literally walked in, grabbed a coffee, bought a New York Times, left. Like, but they did it every day. Like clockwise. And so the consistency is also a key component. And it doesn't have to be you're coming in every day, but every Friday you're stopping by for such and such. Sure. You know, whatever. Uh or I don't know, like once a month you come in to do. Maybe you I feel like you could be a regular while also being the UPS delivery guy, you know. Yes, and if you show up once a week.

Eric:

Yeah, especially if you're the the the UPS guy that we're always happy to see. Got to be. Oh, yeah. You don't want to be Donnie.

Matt:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric:

It's always got some crazy story.

Matt:

Because then you're not the UPS guy, you're Donnie. Yeah, you then you're Donnie. And you're just you're just a good hearted soul. Yep. So are we saying that the key is just to be a good person?

Eric:

Be a good person and be and this is and gang, this is one of the we're gonna part the curtain for this. This is something we theater majors we don't try to talk about too much outside of the family. No, Eric. Uh well, yeah. What are you gonna disclose? Be a good person, but also be entertaining. It's a skill that can be honed, and uh it will get you very far.

Matt:

That's gotta be part of it. And I think that's part of the endearing yourself to the staff. And it's not so we talked a lot about the bar, but going back to a coffee shop, you gotta be making jokes. You gotta be gotta have jokes. You know, coffee shop. You could do here's a here's here's a bit for free. If you've come in a bunch of times, start giving different names every time you come. Every time they come. It'll make them laugh. It'll make them laugh.

Eric:

Make them funny. They all gotta be offbeat. Gotta be funny and gotta not inhibit their ability to do their job in any way, shape, or form. Any way, shape, or make the job harder.

Matt:

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not trying to be a pest. We're just trying to get just break up the monotony of the day a little bit. It goes back, Matt, to thou shalt read the room. It always does, doesn't it, Eric?

Eric:

Thou shalt read the room, my my guy.

Matt:

The it's like the it really is the platinum rule.

Eric:

Yes, yes. Double platinum rule, thou shalt read the room.

Matt:

Thou shalt read the room.

Eric:

Speaking of reading, Matt, do you want to hit me with our next question?

Matt:

Oh, sure. Done with that one, are you?

Eric:

Yeah, I feel like we plowed that that fur, we furrowed that field.

Matt:

Well, all right, yeah, sure. Absolutely. All right, Eric says we're done. We're done. If you could replace all pigeons with one other animal that serves the same city animal role, what would it be and why? And that is from our good friend Dairy King 11, Eric Derico from the Discord. He submitted that on the Discord. All hail the king, baby. All hail the king, baby. Eric pigeons. Flying rats, some call them.

Eric:

First, it is always worth acknowledging in any discussion surrounding the American carrier pigeon. We did them dirty. I don't think they're carrier pigeons anymore. No, well, that's the that's the thing. Is we did pigeons dirty, because the modern pigeon is the descendant of the carrier pigeons that were used to carry our messages, and then with the advent of like mass transit and all that stuff, they got phased out, and we just kind of abandoned them. Yeah. We domesticated them to the point that they were that they could not live without us and that they wanted to do jobs for us, and they didn't have a habitat out in the wild anymore because they were so different. It's Amelia and her litter box. What in God's name is that sound? That is my daughter making piss, sir, and I will thank you to respect that. Alright. So the American carrier pigeon, we fucked them over hard. Because now now, now they they they live in the only place they know how to live, which is our cities, where they eat our trash and our garbage and we complain about them. You know, the pigeons that are only there because of us. Well, not us, Eric. Our ancestors.

Matt:

Ancestors who begat us. Who begat us? It's different. It's different. It's different. But you but there are there are people out here, and I I don't know if we've talked about this on the show or not, but I feel a very romantic interest in pigeon fancying. What's that? Pigeon pigeon fancying, it's uh pigeon keeping, it's the people like in New York or have the rookeries on top of their on their apartments. Who provide these homes for these pigeons? And I it's a it's a fascinating life to me because some of them are so involved that it is their completely unpaying full-time job. Yeah. And I'm like, how is your life? How is your life? Well, how did you how but if you go to pigeon keeping or pigeon fancying on Wikipedia, donate today? It is the art and science of breeding domestic pigeons. People have practiced pigeon keeping for at least five thousand years. Insane. So what were you saying that about it being our problem, Eric? That it's our fault. We've been keeping these motherfuckers alive for 5,000 years.

Eric:

Um, and we're replacing them. And now, now we replace them. And now truly, we will do them dirty. And now we will do them dirty by replacing them with I mean, there's the obvious, there's the lol so random funny ones like alligators. No. I I want I'm approaching this from Well, there is a why attached to this question. Yeah, and that and that's and that's that's where I'm coming from with my why. Okay. I think, Matt, I want to approach this from a what will spur the general people, the the population, Gen Pop, what will spur them to be better people by suddenly having a lot of them in full view every day. So my vote is for something, I'm thinking a really cute little monkey. Oh no, Eric. Yeah. I think I think because Matt, I'm not approaching no. Oh no, no, oh no, no. We're on the same wavelength because Matt instinctually, you know, you might be thinking, oh, you know, people will will will throw less trash out and stuff because they they don't want to hurt the monkey. They want to take, they want to, they want to be good to the monkeys. No, Matt, I want them to live in fear of the monkeys. Okay. I want the monkeys to be an absolute fucking. I want people like, don't throw that fucking trash on the ground because now we're going to have a gang of little monkeys having around, and then they're gonna start like I oh so you want you want them to be a city guard of sorts.

Matt:

Yes.

Eric:

I want I want them to be the the the the plague of locusts that descends on an area when people are not treating their city right.

Matt:

Right. Uh okay. I'm I'm I'm on board with that now. I'm on board with that now. There will always be antics because so many antics. Because you know, anyone who's been to Thailand, almost everybody says universally the monkeys are a pain in the fucking ass. And they just are little terrorists that are out to get you. Anyone who's seen the most recent season of White Lotus knows what I'm talking about. Anybody. Anybody. But I do think there is gonna be violence associated with them because anything when you were saying something that people would be happy to see, I thought you were gonna say dogs.

Eric:

Oh, puppy. Oh yeah, puppy. Oh man, I would I would oh man, that would that would get so post-apocalyptic so fast.

Matt:

The thing about pigeons, if we're doing a one-for-one replacement, is for the most part, they can operate. Yes, they're all over the place and they're annoying and they shit on things, but that's kind of it. Like in New York, you're not really paying attention to the pigeons. Like they'll move around you. They're just about. They're just about, but like monkeys will be causing issues. Oh, they'll be getting into a ruckus. Part of my brain goes to like in India, we all know that cows just go wherever the fuck they want because they're holy and they're, you know, worshipped. And so nobody messes with a cow when it's blocking up street like snorlax. That's true. But that is so it won't be the case here. It won't be the case here because but it could be. If we're replacing it, we're also replacing the mentality.

Eric:

Okay, okay, okay, yeah. The vibe the vibe. I guess.

Matt:

But it can't they can't be a one-for-one because imagine as many cows in New York City as there are pigeons.

Eric:

I imagine it would it would get a little crowded. It could. It would it would be a wee bit, it might feel things might feel a little tight.

Matt:

In that respect, does it have to be another bird? That almost feels like a cop out, though.

Eric:

It feels like a cop out. Let me hit you with this. Iceland, Reykjavik, they're known, they have a huge cat population across the city. And cats just it's and it's just a socially understood thing. Like you'll see cats just go wherever they want. I mean, I guess it would take care of the rats. Yeah, they'll take care of the rats. They're everybody loves a cat. And if you don't love a cat, if you don't love a cat.

Matt:

I hate them. Great deal of people do, Eric. It's time you come to realize that.

Eric:

Sometimes I think the that opposable thumbs is the only thing that separates us from the fucking animals.

Matt:

I don't know what that has to do with anything. I know. I vote cats, but I understand why you might not have a share that opinion. Listen, I'm not saying that I don't share the opinion. I'm I don't share the opinion that everybody loves cats. That's objectively not true.

Eric:

But the cat, but I feel like nobody ever takes any exception to seeing a cat out in the wild.

Matt:

That's what I'm saying. Like if it's out there in out and about, yeah, right, uh if this is a a circumstance, and they're actually providing a big service because it would cut down on the rats.

Eric:

Oh my god, yeah.

Matt:

Big so in that respect, I'd be on board with like, oh yeah, don't mess with the cats, they're doing their work. No, they're working, they're working cats, they're doing their their holy holy objectives.

Eric:

Oh my god. And then you'd have regulars around your neighborhood because we have these out here where I live in the city. We have we have some cats that we see.

Matt:

There was a period of time when we were at an apartment complex and there's a bunch of stray cats and That lived around and I found them huddled in a uh under the stairwell one day, and for a while I was bringing them cans of tuna. Nice. I still hate cats, but these cats. These cats I I made sure uh survived those long hard days. Didn't bring them in my goddamn house, I'll tell you that much. No, no, no. God no come on.

Eric:

And then and then and then that's the that's the thing. It was like, and then every everybody kind of wins because if you're a cat lover, then you you know you want to you want a kitty. You see if you bond with one of the ro the locals. It's kind of what we did out here. We have Ozzy, the cat, who hangs around here. He doesn't belong to anyone. He just but he is the cat of this, the outside cat of this house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get that. He is and we give him food and we feed him and he has a little cat shelter out back. And and he he's a wor he brought us a squirrel one day. He he he he he's a big game hunter.

Matt:

He's a big game hunter. And in that respect, uh a new a new regular just entered the chat from around around these parts. Oh, tell me more. Fox.

Eric:

Fox, you got a fox.

Matt:

I also meant to ask, whatever happened with the goose. Oh, he's not here right now. He'll be back. Okay. The the Canadian geese have started showing up again for their their fall, you know, activities, and I'm sure that asshole will be around. But he eventually left. He he did he eventually left, but he will come back. I know he will.

Eric:

Oh, yeah, he he knows your name.

Matt:

I'll know his attitude. And if he starts messing with my deer again, I'll throw down with this goose.

Eric:

Could you imagine replacing all the pigeons with geese? No, could you imagine? Cities would crumble. Cities would crumble everyone. We would burn to the fucking ground. Everything we've suggested so far, and and this was the stated purpose for a few of these, would radically change things. But yeah, I want to go back to earlier what you said about the pigeon. Like, what is something else that's not a bird, if we want to challenge ourselves? Not a bird that would fill that same sort of there they are. They're just they're part of it. In Florida, you get the iguanas. Ooh, would not say no to a lizard of some kind frogs.

Matt:

Oh well, ooh, that could be very exciting. Very magnolia of you. Yeah. Toads. Toads, yes, that's good. Turtles, I'd I won't suggest because I'd be too worried about they're not. No, there's gonna be a tragic, a tragic uh outpouring of of death, and I don't want that.

Eric:

No.

Matt:

Goats, goats, goats could be good. Goats are great, actually.

Eric:

I feel like goats are a good option. Goats are a good option. They they eat everything. It feels borderline unethical. They climb on shit, so they're they're gonna be able to get it. Oh my god, could you imagine if we had climbing goats all over Baltimore? The hijinks they would get into.

Matt:

Yeah. For yeah, they I mean, there would be high jinx. Oh yeah. Now you mentioned big game a minute ago. We could go big and bad. We could have things like bears, wolves, hippopotamuses. Oh, hippopotamai. Hippopotami.

Eric:

Hippopotomy, maybe.

Matt:

Hippopotamai gorilla. No, God, they can again.

Eric:

Now we're getting now Well, yeah, I mean, if you're throwing hippopotamus out there, it is the most dangerous animal in Africa.

Matt:

Truly, it's it'll it wreck a city.

Eric:

It will murder and it can outrun you on land.

Matt:

It'd wreck a city, but it would also, I think, change a city in some ways for good because it would keep some attitudes in check. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Who's who's gonna pull off a drive-by shooting when there's a fucking hippo on the same block?

Eric:

I mean, who who's like what what what piece of shit federal agency is gonna try to like conduct a raid when they have to contend with hippopotami?

Matt:

When they have a exactly. And if I'm a small business owner, I'm keeping one outside. Oh yeah.

Eric:

Oh my god.

Matt:

Each business would have to have one. And I'm not saying keep like on a leash, I'm saying make a hippo happy to be a regular at my establishment.

Eric:

I I'm willing to bet that graffitiing the hippos would become a thing. A federal crime as well. Start start tagging the hippos. Oh yeah, you you shouldn't, you can't, you can't, you can't paint the animals. You can't that if if look, life life hasn't taught me a whole lot, but if it's taught me anything, can't paint the animals. They don't like that. That's not good for them. If we were to do a bird for their feathers. If we were to do a bird. Okay. What about chickens? Chickens, they already outnumber human beings on this planet, like six to one. They're all over the place. They're all over the place. They're they are useful. Just bring them into an urban environment. Bring them to an urban environment. How good are they at not getting run over by cars? I feel like somebody somewhere, probably juniper is yelling, they're very bad at that.

Matt:

Probably not good. Probably not good. Okay, well, then we could just change it to uh let's uh let's get real patriotic. Eagles. Okay, just eagles. Eagles. Suddenly there's eagles everywhere. Oh man.

Eric:

Oh, they are scavengers.

Matt:

They're they again, you gotta watch the fuck out when there's an eagle.

Eric:

They're gonna steal your glizzy. You're gonna get a corner glizzy, and they're gonna fucking yank that shit right from the back.

Matt:

Here you are in Chi Town with your glizzy, and you look up in the air, and there's a you hear that fucking eagle and he's ready to go. Just lay that hot dog down on the ground for him. Matt. Eric. Peacocks. Peacocks. That's fun. I that's fun, but I have you ever heard a peacocks cry? I've heard that the uh peacocks are a giant pain in the ass.

Eric:

They are giant pain in the ass because they have the like this this piercing fucking wailing call that the ostriches. Ostriches, god ostriches, ostriches.

Matt:

Imagine in New York with ostriches just fucking all over the place. Lime scooters out, ostriches. Ostriches in. Oh man, I'm just prancing to my next appointment. Horses. Horses, I mean, horses always make me in a city, always make me feel like I'm in the walking dead. Like they'd thrive in a post-apocalyptic city, but I don't know about a regular one. That's fair.

Eric:

What if we adjusted our parameters just a little bit? Because right now we're making a lot of some like the pigeons of any city, we assume they're just gonna be out and about on the streets or flying up in the sky. Yeah. But Matt, there's an entire world below. Oh what if what if all of our sewer systems had like what if our new pigeon like occupied the underdark of the city? Octopi otters?

Matt:

We have otters, yeah. You said no right away, but like alligators, crocodiles.

Eric:

Oh, dude. If they're if we had legit, if we had a croc problem.

Matt:

If you had to be careful around sewers, because there's fucking crocodiles down there. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Or hippos. They're just down there. Sewer hippos. That's just where they live. They're like mini hippos. Aww, pop. They've they've adapted to pygmy hippos. Pygmy hippos that have adapted to the sewer life.

Eric:

Bro, those hippos would go so hard, but they wouldn't be able to get you. And that's that's the good thing. Unless you fit.

Matt:

Unless you did something stupid and ended up down there. Occasionally they end up in a subway tunnel and fuck shit up. Yeah. But that's the price of having hippos in your sewer system.

Eric:

You see people walk around with halves of watermelon just feeding it into the sewer grate. Here you go, buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking I could see that. Yeah. I feel like there's there's one where we're I feel like there's one we're leaving on. Honestly, though, you know, we've left entirely out of this conversation. Tell me. Insect. Oh, sure.

Matt:

But I mean, we were depends on the insect. They're already there, though. There's you know, flies and mosquitoes in every city.

Eric:

But like if I could get a one-to-one replay like monarch butterflies, of a tapestry of color. I see what you're doing now. Yeah, I see what you're doing.

Matt:

Potatoes. Well, I guess not in cities. Just never-ending brood. But oh god, brood omega. Um brood infinity symbol. That just go and go and go. Yeah. I could see it. I could see it. Penguins. Penguins. Penguins. People would respect a penguin. People would respect an emperor penguin. An emperor penguin suddenly able to survive in like a normal cli, a regular warm climate. Chilling with you at the bus stop. Just sort of walking, waddling around. That I think people would be like okay with that. And they slide, they do their little belly slide into the sewer. I think no one's getting too pissed when traffic is backed up because there's Emperor Penguins waddling across a crosswalk.

Eric:

Yeah, we would have we there'd be a whole like there'd be a massive recruiting drive for new like uh crossing guard like officers because now their their their other duty is penguin conduction. Penguin conduction. Go this way.

Matt:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fuck with that. Any mythical things? Do we want to introduce mythos into this?

Eric:

I could fuck with some mythos. I uh squonks. Well, of course, we gotta get some squonks. Shout out squonk. Uh squonks. City would flood with their tears. A city would flood with their tears. I would love it. Let me hit you with this. All right. If every city had a confirmed, and this is we're again quality over quantity. Yes. If every city had a confirmed Sasquatch.

Matt:

Confirmed Sasquatch, that's good. Not where I thought you were going. Confirmed Mothman.

Eric:

Ooh, oh man, people would get their shit together right quick. I have often there's a Mothman on the table.

Matt:

I have often thought about this, isn't either of these things, but it's tangentially related. When I'm in New York, I've often thought, like, what if Spider-Man was real? Because when you really break it down, there would be moments where you're just sitting there, you're or you're walking across a block and all of a sudden swings down the block, and you you then get to go home if you're visiting the city or whatever and be like, I was in New York, saw Spider-Man. Like, yeah, wow. Like flip. He's just a factor of life. Like you will see him around. Yeah. And like I think it's got to alter you as a person. Yes. And I think a mothman fits that bill a little bit. If there was just the one, like you got to see him. Oh man, walking while he was flittering around from the Verrazano to the Brooklyn Bridges, constantly worried that they're gonna collapse.

Eric:

Yeah.

Matt:

He only wants to warn you. He only wants to help. He's only trying to help whilst being terrifying. So yeah, I think that's it. I think that's about it. I think I think we did a good option. I honestly think the because the cat option, I think, is good. Yeah. I'm no fan of cats. But but it is a little hard for. For utility, I think it goes to cats. I utility goes to cats, but they're already there. Like there's already stray cats in every fucking city. They're just not as one-to-one with pigeons as we're talking about. Yeah. But I do think some of the more exotic ones are fun. I like penguins the best. Penguins, yes, yes.

Eric:

I a puffin.

Matt:

Something cuter. Because if we're upgrading it, we're upgrading not only the number that a pigeon has, but also more respect than the pigeon receives. Agreed.

Eric:

But Matt, I just remembered what we left on the table. Oh, good. Sloths, Eric. Sloths, Matt.

Matt:

Eric, way to get it at the at the right at the 11 yard line.

Eric:

Because I feel like that's a no-brainer.

Matt:

Oh my God. Eric, I love a sloth.

Eric:

And it proves everyone's day. Yeah.

Matt:

You are somebody. Your persona is a sloth. And if you see a sloth trying to make its way across the street, you who isn't helping that sloth out? It would be good for everyone. It'd be good for everyone.

Eric:

There would be feeding stations all along for you to get feed to give to the sloth.

Matt:

You're stuck in traffic, and as you're stuck in traffic, you look up, and on this fucking red light is just a sloth just hanging out.

Eric:

Awww.

Matt:

Pandas. Pandas would cause pandemoni pandemonium. Pandemonium. Pandemonium. That would be the spinning headline.

Eric:

Pandemonium!

Matt:

Pandemonium. Pandemic. We're entering pandemonium season where the pandas are just rolling.

Eric:

The papers would be getting into brawls in the street over who gets to use what headline.

Matt:

Oh, yeah. Gangs of New York style.

Eric:

Very, very.

Matt:

Well, uh, there you go, Derry King Eleven. You've got several options to uh to choose from there. Um, but Eric, yeah, I think it's time to assess your knowledge.

Eric:

Oh, Bubby.

Matt:

Oh, yeah, baby. I'm here for it. Now, I t I teed this up as a spin-off of a pop quiz.

Eric:

Okay.

Matt:

And Eric, what would be related to a pop quiz, would you say? Pop culture? Pop music? No, Eric, we have quizzes already. We need a test. A test. A test. And I'm calling this a little spin-off of pop quiz the top 10 test. Okay. Eric, uh I'm here and I'm listening. I have in front of me a top 10 list. Actually, I have a top 20 list, but we're only interested in the 10. Okay. I have the top 20, Eric, because I'm gonna ask you uh I'm gonna I'm gonna task you with giving me this top 10 list. I love this. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You give me uh I I won't bury the lead. I wanted to start with something a little bit more universal. I thought about going off the cuff and getting you a random top 10 list. I have the top 10 list of the highest grossing films. Okay. Okay, okay. Uh I thought this was a good middle of the road situation before I hit you with something super specific.

Eric:

Yeah.

Matt:

I have a scoring system worked out for you, Eric. Okay. You're getting some real points. I have, I dare I say, a formula in this spreadsheet. A rubric? Uh indeed. If you give me a film that is between 11 and 20, okay, so not in the top ten. I'll give you a courtesy point.

Eric:

Oh.

Matt:

A courtesy point. Okay. If you give honorable mention. If you give me a film that is in the top ten, but not in the right spot, five points.

Eric:

Oh, we're going for spots.

Matt:

Okay. And if you get me the spot exactly right, 100% correct, 10 points. Okay. Any questions about my scoring system?

Eric:

No. So so I my goal is get it in the right spot for the top 10. But if I if it's in the top 10 and it's not the right spot, I still get points. And if it's in the top 20, I get a point.

Matt:

I I give you a point because you got pretty close. Okay. You were in the ballpark with the film. I think we start at 10, we go to one. Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see how this goes. This is an experiment. I didn't run this folks. I didn't run this by Eric at all. I'm just doing this.

Eric:

So we're going, so I am now going to say what I think is the 10th highest grossing film of all time. The 10th highest grossing film.

Matt:

This is the hardest part. Um and if if you would like, I uh I hesitate to say I'll give you the year. I could, but I do feel like that makes things pretty easy on some. Don't give me the year. But I can give you how much I also have in front of me how much uh it has made to date and uh also its peak number. So like it is at 10 now, but where it peaked.

Eric:

Oh, okay, gotcha.

Matt:

Are any of those things helpful, or do you just want to throw a movie?

Eric:

No, I because I don't know the numbers on any of the highest grossing films. I don't think so. I'm gonna say number 10.

Matt:

Uh-huh.

Eric:

I I I have I'm gonna establish a baseline.

Matt:

Okay, yeah, I think that's a good strategy.

Eric:

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm I'm gonna go, I'm gonna see if I'm gonna I gotta throw something out there and we're gonna see see where it lands. See where get dip your toe in, so to speak. I'm gonna say number 10.

Matt:

Yes. Jurassic Park. Eric, that is incorrect, but you are going to be, and it Jurassic Park, I'm afraid, is not on the top 20 list. Wow. But you amazingly got the franchise.

Eric:

Okay.

Matt:

And for that, I'm adjusting my own rubric on the fly because I'm so impressed with you. I think if because some of these, I'm not gonna lie to you, are franchise films, obviously. I'm gonna give you two points because the tenth highest-grossing film of all time is Jurassic World, Eric. Damn, is Jurassic World from 2015. It peaked at number three on this list.

Eric:

Okay.

Matt:

If you're wondering. So that brings us up to the ninth highest grossing film of all time.

Eric:

So Jurassic World being our baseline.

Matt:

Jurassic World, the 10th highest-grossing film of all time. Jurassic Park, not on the list.

Eric:

Not on the list. So that tells me something about I feel like a lot of these movies. Here's a question. Are the majority of these movies post the year 2000?

Matt:

Yes.

Eric:

Okay.

Matt:

Yes, they are. I could change this on the fly to be highest grossing adjusted for inflation. Ah, that's very different.

Eric:

That's very different. Let's keep it, let's keep it the way we're gonna be.

Matt:

That's an extremely different list.

Eric:

Extremely different list.

Matt:

And almost none of them are after the year 2000.

Eric:

I was gonna say, because that because my brain was at, I'm like, oh, I'm sure like adjusted.

Matt:

Adjusted for inflation, not a single film in the top ten are above the year 2000 in the top 10.

Eric:

Yep, that's about what I figured. But yeah, let's keep doing it the way we're doing with the heart with the made most money. Made most money. Yeah. So okay, so number nine. So number nine.

Matt:

I think also I can give you a hint per film. Ooh, okay, I'll take a hint. I'll take a hint. I'm not proud. This is an animated sequel.

Eric:

Okay. I'm gonna say ninth highest grossing film of all time. It is an animated sequel. I'm gonna say frozen two.

Matt:

Frozen two, Eric, gets you a point. Frozen two is number 15 on the list. Number 15. Okay, okay, okay. So you you get a bonus point for that, but you don't get anything for number nine, which is Inside Out Two. Ah, okay. Okay. Inside Out Two or Okay. Let's see how you do with number eight, the eighth highest grossing film of all time.

Eric:

Here's another question. Okay. Of these top tens, is there a franchise that appears multiple times?

Matt:

Yes.

Eric:

Yeah, I figured. Okay.

Matt:

Eric, I'll I'll do you one better. There are multiple franchises that appear multiple times.

Eric:

Oh, god damn it, how many minions movies are in this? Um, okay. Number eight. I'm going to say give me the hint. Give me that hint, you slut.

Matt:

This film has been mentioned, not explicitly, but has been mentioned on this episode.

Eric:

Oh, that's fun. Oh, that's fun.

Matt:

Oh the first word of this film has already appeared. The pre-colon has already appeared in this conversation, Eric.

Eric:

Oh, it's a minions movie.

Matt:

Okay, not this exact conversation. Okay. Oh, okay. Within the past 57 minutes.

Eric:

Oh, within this conversation. Yes, yes, okay. Okay. Oh man. I'm gonna say. Harry and the Henderson. No, um, I'm gonna say. Would you like another hint?

Matt:

I'll give you another hint. Give me another hint. The year is 2021. Oh, okay.

Eric:

Okay.

Matt:

And I won't apply this to this, but I think you get one hint, and if you request the year, if you get points, it's halved.

Eric:

That's fair.

Matt:

That's fair. But I won't do it this time. I'm making this up as we go. Thank you. I I I'm gonna say puss in boots. Puss in boots is wrong and does not appear in the top 20, so I'm afraid you get no points.

Eric:

It's Spider-Man No Way Home. Damn. Okay, there's gonna be a lot of Marvel up here, too.

Matt:

There could be. There could very well be. The seventh highest grossing film of all time, Eric. And what's that hint? Oh, what's that hint? It's a Marvel film. Yeah. I'll cut right to the quick since we're talking about it.

Eric:

I'm gonna say, then I'm gonna say Guardians of the Galaxy. Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm gonna say Guardians of the Galaxy. No, I'm gonna say Deadpool 2.

Matt:

Deadpool 2, Eric. Yes. Deadpool 2 does not appear on this list, although I I think I still have the actual tab up. Deadpool and Wolverine. You just miss a bonus point because that's well, actually, you said Deadpool 2. Deadpool and Wolverine is the 21st highest grossing film of all time. No, Eric, we're talking about Avengers Infinity War.

Eric:

No, Infinity War's got endgame somewhere on here. Now it's just a question of where.

Matt:

Just a question of where, you think, huh? Uh okay. This is number six, the highest grossing film of all time. I'm gonna say minions. You're gonna say minions here. Shoot your shot here. It is a miss. Minions does not appear on the top 20 at all, I'm afraid. Now, uh the movie in question was Star Wars, The Force Awakens. Force Awakens, sixth highest grossing film of all time. Now we're on number five, and I won't lie to you, Eric. This is the only film on the list I was unfamiliar with. Ooh, okay, it's probably Bollywood. It is not Bollywood, and I'll tell you this for free. Okay. Came out in 2025, this very year, and I had never heard of it. So I I what I'm saying is, if you get it, I'll be extremely impressed with you.

Eric:

I'm just trying to think if there's any. I'm going to say, is the title in English?

Matt:

No.

Eric:

Fuck. Ongbok 7. 2 Bach Five Furious.

Matt:

It is Nizha 2, a 2025 Chinese adult animated adventure fantasy action film written and directed by Giozi. It is the direct sequel to Nizha in 2019. And it is based on the Chinese mythological character of uh Zhu Zonglin. Yeah. Zonglin's oh, 16th century novel Investiture of the Gods. Well, you know they put out that song recently, like Everyday I Be Zonglin. Everyday Be Zonglin, but not you, Eric. Uh, so that's the fifth highest-grossing film of all time. Okay. I thought we should move quickly on it because I don't know how it's there, let alone how it has made. Hold on, let me translate some commas. $2,215,690, damn. Damn. Number four, Eric, the fourth highest grossing film of all time.

Eric:

We're grossing billions out. Give me that hint.

Matt:

It is the only film in the top 20 that came out before the year 2000. Yeah. Pretty good. Titanic. Eric, you get 10 points. Yes! Ten points, Eric. It is Titanic. Yep, it had to be. Titanic. Had to be. Let's move on up to number three, Eric. Number three.

Eric:

Avatar. Final answer? No, give me the hint first. I keep forgetting those are on the table. Hmm.

Matt:

This the director of this film appears in the top ten three times.

Eric:

That it has me leaning Cameron. And I'm gonna s but I'm gonna say what the fuck else did he make? He did, he did Titanic. He did he did Day After Tomorrow, didn't he?

Matt:

No, that's Roland Emmerich. Oh, okay.

Eric:

James Cameron.

Matt:

Uh Terminator, uh Aliens.

Eric:

Uh yeah. I'll I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna stick with my answer of Avatar. Avatar. That's what you're telling me.

Matt:

Final answer. The blue, the Navi. The Navi. Yes. The full title of the film is Avatar. Avatar 2. All right. I gave it away to you a little bit. I gave it away to you. But it is Avatar, the Way of Water. Which fucking I couldn't. I'll give you, you got it. I'll give you all 10 points. I think I watched it.

Eric:

I made it like 20 minutes into that movie. I haven't watched it. Fuck it. It's bad.

Matt:

I haven't watched it, and I have uh no interest in fire and blood or whatever it's called. Uh Fire and Ash, I think is the new one. Uh okay. The second highest grossing film of all time, just for fun, I will tell you it did peak at number one.

Eric:

Avatar.

Matt:

Eric, you answered very quickly, and that is incorrect, I'm afraid. No, you mentioned it previously. Oh, I'm sorry, Eric. You do get five bonus points for putting Avatar out of order. So, yes, that automatically reveals that Avatar is number one, the highest grossing film of all time. I like it. It was it was for a while displaced by number two, which is Avengers Endgame. Game.

Eric:

Yeah, damn it. I I it was like it was it one of the got there, I was like, okay, it's endgame and advent and avatar. Just a question of which.

Matt:

So, Eric, you came out of this this this kind of created as I go a little bit top 10 test with 28 points. I like it. You received a bonus point for uh Frozen 2, which is the 14th highest grossing film of 15th highest grossing film of all time, two for Jurassic World. Uh, but yeah, just to go through it, number 10, Jurassic World, nine, inside out, eight, Spider-Man No Way Home, Avengers Infinity War, number seven, Force Awakens, number six, Z Niza Two, number five, Titanic, Avatar Way of Water, Avengers Endgame, and the highest grossing film of all time is Avatar. Adjusted for inflation, the highest grossing film of all time remains Gone with the Wind. God damn right. Uh are you interested in knowing the 20, 20 through 11 just for fun?

Eric:

Let me know them. Yeah, let me let's see, let's get all these honorable mentions.

Matt:

Number 20, which peaked at the third highest film of all time, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part, duh. Oh, I bet there's a bunch of Harry Potters in here. Not anymore. It's the only remaining Harry Potter on the top 20.

Eric:

Yeah.

Matt:

Uh Black Panther is number 19. Nice. The Super Mario Brothers movie is number 18. Age of Avengers Age of Ultron is 17. Yeah. Barbie is fro is is 16. We already know Frozen 2 is 15. Top Gun Maverick is number 14. Uh I I can't believe you didn't offer a guess of this franchise. It's Furious Seven is the 13th grossing film of all time. Uh Avengers is um uh number 12, and number 11, peeking at 11, is the Lion King, but not the one you want it to be. It is the 2019 live action lion king king. It is gross. I agree with you. So, Eric, what's your review of this game? I love it. Do we ever play it again?

Eric:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to play this with you now.

Matt:

Yeah, you gotta give me a top 10. And again, I thought briefly about really uh doing something. I thought about books or in publication or like uh the AFI's list of villains or heroes or something. So, you know, the but I want I thought this is a good baseline. Yeah, this is a good baseline. Uh so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The top 10 test, Eric. You got 28 points. Hell yeah. Do with that what you do. D's get degrees. D's get degrees.

Eric:

That would be a 30%, which would be an F.

Matt:

Now, it might work better if uh there was somebody else here playing against you, perhaps. But you know, this is a test. This is an assessment of yourself and your skills and your knowledge. And you got 28 out of, I guess, a possible 100. I guess a perfect score would be 100. Uh, but nevertheless, that will about do it. That'll about do it for this rambling episode of You Didn't Ask For This, as opposed to all the others. We do need your questions, folks. Please submit them to us at udinaskforthis at gmail.com. You can leave a comments uh or a DM on our Instagram handle at you didn't ask pod. That's the letter you didn't ask pod. You can call the thought line and give us an audio message at 410-929-5329. And of course, you can give it to us direct, direct to the veins, like an IV. Yes. Fuck just drip it. Via the Discord.

Eric:

How do they get to the Discord, Eric? Remind me. Matt, go to patreon.com slash you didn't ask for this. Uh, and for one dollar a month, you get access to the daft discord. The you daft's chord. The you daft. The vibes are immaculate. So nice. We have an orgy dome. We have an orgy dome. Uh tell us what you're bringing. And for four dollars a month, now less than a cup of coffee from my local cafe down the street. You get access to the Discord, you get monthly bonus content in the form of oops, all tangents, and you get 20% off of all your daft merchandise in the store.

Matt:

And not for nothing, just a little tease. We very well could have new merch coming soon. Just putting it out there. And there's one last new bonus uh option for for anyone in the Discord. If you would like, in advance of our upcoming 2026 Bingo Sode, to submit a listener submission that will be an official option for you to choose on your Yadafed Bingo in 2026. You can submit your bingo options and ideas to us in the bingo channel in the Discord. That is the only valid way to do it. God damn right. Give us your dollar. Give us your dollar? Give us that book. Can potentially put your idea on our very lists.

Eric:

Imagine that I am aiming a gun at you and brandishing a knife. This is extortion. What?

Matt:

Eric, very violent. Yeah. Someone like that. Ooh. Ooh, hello. I know they're dirty. A little dangerous listeners, huh? Give me your buck. But that'll about do it. For all of us here, you didn't ask for this. My name is Matt Shea. My name's Eric Poach. And listen, you certainly didn't ask.

Eric:

But uh literally 30 minutes before we were recording, uh, my housemates were doing some yard work outside and they were in the crawl space under the house, and we found a briefcase, and they ran up that was that none of us know anything about. Uh, so they ran up here and said, You have to come down. We found a briefs case. We're gonna open it. Yeah, baby. And we opened it up and turned out to be a carrying case for eight tracks, of which there were zero in it. But it is a very handsome case. It is like an odd, it's like a 1970s like case. Brown on the outside, orange velvet on the inside. Oh, very fancy. Very fancy.

Matt:

I mean, you know, for the story, you could have made us something up that's a little bit more than a little bit.

Eric:

What I what I will say is this there's a lot of shit down there, and we've only just started exploring.

Matt:

We've only just begun. Okay, that'll about do that. Yeah.