You Didn't Ask For This
You Didn't Ask For This
118 | A Poor Man's Harrison Ford
Greetings, sociopaths! In this episode, we explore some helpful tips for your next trip before we tackle one of the most pivotal questions facing society today: while you may have That Dog in you...what kind of dog is it? Then it's on to Google Gripes for the conclusion of round two.
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Eric, I want to ask you a question Ask away my beautiful boy. Do you consider yourself a sociopath?
Eric:There are times one wonders Sure absolutely. But I have been told that if you worry that you might be a sociopath, that's a good indication that you aren't Sure.
Matt:I hear that as well. I ask because I recently came across a question that supposedly will prove whether or not you're a sociopath.
Eric:Okay, it's not a full test.
Matt:It's just one simple question. So I took this and so I'm going to go ahead and say it to you now, okay, and we're going to find out. We're going to find out together and I'll reveal my results, don't worry. Great, but I don't want to color your reception, so I'll tell you at the end. And I say at the end, because what I'm going to do is I'm going to tell you a little story, a short story, okay, and at the end of the story, I'm going to ask you a question. Okay, and if at any point, you've heard this before, it's probably not going to work, so just tell me and we'll do something else. Okay, okay. So here's the story. There's this woman let's call her Betty, okay, let's call her Betty, and Betty, unfortunately, her mother passed away.
Eric:Okay.
Matt:So she has to have the funeral and she's the oldest daughter so she, you know she has. She ends up planning everything and sort of arranging everything. Yeah, you know her siblings live out of state so she's the closest to one, so she's sort of the point person for the funeral and the viewing and all this stuff. So they're having the viewing and we'll say closed casket. Okay, we'll just say closed casket. Okay. Well, let's just say closed casket.
Eric:Just you know it's a closed casket kind of funeral.
Matt:Now you've been at a funeral yeah, yes, um and so when you are a member of the family, you're traditionally like you got to greet people, right, you're up, yeah. So she's, she's sort of forming the. There's this like assembly line, this welcome line, receiving line that's the phrase I'm looking for. And so this man comes in and she doesn't know this man, but he clearly knows her mother because he showed up at the funeral and, oh God, he's handsome. Oh my God man, he's a tall, dark stranger. You know what I mean, yeah, and so she's like she's in mourning, she's having these complicated feelings about her mother passing away. But here comes this stranger that she's like whoa, this is a mode switch, you know what I'm saying. So she starts talking to this man and they're exchanging pleasantries in the receiving line I'm so sorry for your loss, blah, blah. But there's other people coming in the receiving line. So she talks to this man and there's a spark. You know, there's some sort of spark. But she was like I gotta, I gotta keep this line moving, I gotta talk to other people. So the guy goes away. He is, he's, you know, mingling at the viewing. He's around, she keeps talking the receiving line. She's talks to the receiving line. That goes right into the like, eulogies, stuff, like that, the stuff you say, um, and then so that's once.
Matt:Once the actual like event is over, you know people are mingling around, people start to leave. She's like, oh, goodbye, goodbye. But she's keeping her eye out for this gentleman, this tall, dark stranger. She's looking around the room. She's like, oh, goodbye, goodbye, but she's keeping her eye out for this gentleman, this tall, dark, stranger. She's looking around the room. She's looking around the room. She finally has a chance to talk to this guy so she can ask his name, how he knew her mother, get a phone number, maybe, so they can actually get to know each other. The man has already left, he's gone, yeah, and so she was like, ah, damn, like that, I, I was interested in this guy. There was a little bit of a spark. I'm I'm disappointed, but he's already left. There's nothing she can do. Okay, a week later, she murders her sister why?
Eric:probably so he would show up to her funeral eric, we're both sociopaths.
Matt:hell yeah, man, that man that's not sociopath. That's just logic. That's what I'm saying. But here's the thing. I heard this from a stand-up comedian. Okay, he was telling this story and he said if you get it right instantly, you are a sociopath, and if you have to think about it, you're not. And I told the same story to Lindsay and my parents told the same story to lindsey and my parents and all of them were like I, I don't know what, what, what, what. And I was like are you?
Matt:it's so simple it's right out of riddles god, anyway, yeah, yes, hope is that he'll show up, and I got it right instantly.
Eric:I didn't even need confirmation yeah, dude, I you know what this drives me nuts Like. I hate it when people are maligned just for thinking something through logically, like the other day I was putting some limbs in our freezer, yeah, and fucking.
Matt:What are you going to do? Leave them out.
Eric:What are you going to do? Let it go bad.
Matt:Have you not considered the smell?
Eric:Yeah, you haven't considered the smell. You smell, you bitch, I'll kill you. That's an always sunny line I stole, I'm sorry, always sunny, I'm sure.
Matt:I'm sure you just with that apology when they hear this you have avoided so much indemnity. Well, hello all you sociopaths and welcome to you. Didn't Ask For this. It's the podcast answering life's least pressing questions. My name is Matthew Shea.
Eric:My name is Eric Poach. Eric Poach, note the name on my business card. Oh, all right. Well, eric poach, how are you? Oh, I'm wonderful. Uh, you know, prepping for a move, so that's hell yeah painting my room, uh, my new room. What kind of color are you going with for the old room there? Oh, I went with a sherwin williams risetta green with a van dyke brown semi-gloss for the trim and windowsills ask how ask now?
Matt:ask sherwin williams.
Eric:That's what I say they have ever talked about how sherwin williams has the most nefarious branding on the planet, like because the sherwin williams logo is the planet earth being covered by paint, by blood red paint, with the with the words cover the earth underneath of them.
Matt:Yeah, no, they're covering that thing in blood.
Eric:Yeah, it is.
Matt:I feel like that is like entry level, Honestly it feels like a question for us, Like what are the consequences of Sherwin-Williams covering the world in paint? It ain't good. I'll tell you what it can't be good for the atmosphere.
Eric:No, no, no, no, no, goodness, no no.
Matt:Now, Eric, last time out, we spent a long, long, long long time not answering questions. Okay, Today I propose we do the opposite.
Eric:Okay, we'll try something new.
Matt:We'll answer questions we'll try something new and do the format of the show I matt brave, thank you eric, you want to. You are brave, you're, bold, you're beautiful. So much just like your van dyke gloss on your thank you, would you like to?
Eric:read our first questionnaire. I would and this question comes from becky the sassy seagrass scientist, um, on instagram. On instagram, a dear friend of mine and a dear friend of the, as we're talking about covering the earth in paint. Uh, becky the sassy seagrass scientist is a dear friend to this planet she better be with an, with a user handle like that, oh yeah yeah, yeah, Her question is Greetings gents.
Eric:I have a question with real applicability to my life. How do you plan a trip? How do you and your loved ones, friends, associates etc. Decide where you want to go, what you want to spend your money on, how you want to spend your time when you're there? Lots of busy activities just sitting around down, for God's sakes there. Lots of busy activities, just sitting down, for God's sakes. There's so much to do, so much to see and so little time and money. I am fraught with indecision. Help me please, Becky. What?
Matt:a question, becky, what a question. Thank you so much for submitting it. I will chastise you for including the phrase there's so much to see, there's so much to do, so much to much to see and not including so what's wrong with taking the back streets?
Eric:but I digress, I won't beleaguer the point, but it should have been there, um, and I respect yourself so I, I I have thoughts around trips and, like I am, I imagine you and I are very different on how we approach trips, eric Eric.
Matt:I think that's a safe bet. I think I have not vacationed together. No, we have been on a trip before. Yeah, we have been on a trip. It was a summer college activity where we traveled to Clemson University For two weeks For two weeks, and we did drive there together or drove back together.
Eric:And I think that was the only time where we co-lived together for those two weeks Well co-lived.
Matt:There were other people involved, but it was like we were staying in the on-campus apartment so there was like four bedrooms, yeah. But yeah, those two weeks are the only times we lived together, and then I stayed at your parents' house on the way home.
Eric:You did, yeah, you crashed it at Rick and Fran's place.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, yeah Hell yeah, she was a delight your father was a delight.
Eric:Yeah, Franny Mae is a saint. You were fine oh thank you, solid five out of seven. So, matt, let's play a little game, all right, because it feels like we both have assumptions about how the other person does trips.
Matt:So what we'll do.
Eric:We'll go back and forth. I'll name an assumption about you when it comes to your vacationing habits, and you can do the same for me, and we'll see. We'll see how close we get.
Matt:That sounds good. I'll say I don't know that I have so much have assumptions about like what you do, cause your behavior is often unpredictable to me. Yes, but I I assume that it's very different than like my trip. But okay, that my approach is different. I, I, yes, I assume your approach is different. What your approach is? God? God only knows God. So yeah, hit me, it's a good idea, let's do it. Let's, let's break this friendship up.
Eric:I assume that you overpack.
Matt:Well, I guess it depends on your definition of overpacking, but I wouldn't think so. My mom does. I'll tell you that right now she brings like a whole suitcase of shoes because you got to have options.
Eric:Here's my here. You got to have options. Here's my assumption. Here's my assumption vis-a-vis overpacking, if I could clarify. Okay, good, say you're on a five day trip.
Matt:You probably pack, I would say, say, between eight and ten days worth of socks. No, no, really I do. Yeah, this is, this is an old camping habit of mine. I pack what I need and I try, I try to plan through. Each day when I'm packing the suitcase, I try to be like oh, I'll wear this monday, I'll wear this tuesday.
Eric:When that was my other assumption that you, you, do, you have your outfits down to the day.
Matt:Well, I plan it out per day, so I know I have enough. Like if I know we're going, oh, it depends on the trip too. Like if it's a wedding trip, I got to make sure I got everything for the wedding. This is what I'll wear to the reception on Friday or whatever. You know the welcome party, you know that kind of stuff. Like, in a couple of weeks I'll be going to the beach with my parents, as I have done for several years now with Lindsay, and what I'll do is be like cool, make sure I have an outfit for each day. Will I stick to that schedule? Probably not, but I know I've got enough outfits. You have your baseline, I have my baseline. And then and this is an old camping thing that I've never gotten away from I always pack minimum one extra underwear, at least two extra socks and an extra t-shirt, just like. So there's a if something happens.
Eric:In your carry-on probably.
Matt:Well, yeah, if I'm flying, all those items go in the carry-on.
Eric:I do the same thing.
Matt:Along with my PJs. Ah, yes, yes, yes, the PJs are always at the bottom of my carry-on. I do the same thing Along with my PJs. Ah, yes, yes, yes, the PJs are always at the bottom of my carry-on backpack always. Yep, because if my luggage gets lost, I at least have change of underwear, change of socks, change of shirt, pjs. So in that case we're aligned. I was thinking for some reason I assumed we were talking about like road trip Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So I do not pack like eight days worth for five days. I will simply pack, uh, the, the extra underwear and socks, for, oh, I stepped in mud or oh, I fell straight on my ass. You know, my feet got wet and I must scream, and I, my feet are wet and I now need new socks, you know, like, like, that kind of thing.
Eric:Okay, what's an assumption?
Matt:about me. My assumption about you, eric, is that if you were talking about a five-day trip, I feel like maximum you've got five outfits. Maximum, but probably not, probably you have three 100% correct.
Eric:I will, I will pair, I will pack one pair of pants, one pair of shorts. Oh well, I do that.
Matt:I traditionally make sure I have like, like, especially if it's like jeans weather. Oh, there's just the jeans, there's just the jeans and the rotating tops.
Eric:What my brain does is that I don't waste outfit slots on the travel days. So what that means is, whatever I'm wearing the day before we leave is probably what I'll be wearing the day we leave. I'm not putting a good outfit through a fucking travel day.
Matt:No, I'm in the same, my green hoodie that you know very well, that anyone who's encountered me probably knows. My like green Under Armour hoodie is my traditional top layer for travel. Some t-shirt underneath some jeans. That is my go-to standard almost every trip. I travel in it because if I'm hot, I can take it off. If I'm cold, I got a sweatshirt, so I always travel in it because, you know, if I'm hot I can take it off. If I'm cold, I got a sweatshirt, you know. So I I always travel in like the same outfit or outfit adjacent, like, let's say, we're doing this trip with my parents, right, and we're gonna end before we go our separate ways. We're going to a winery, you know how we do, got to um. So if we're going to a winery or something I might choose, like a slightly nicer sweatshirt or something else that's still in the family of I know I'm then getting in a car and driving and I want to be comfy, cozy when I do something. Got to be so yeah.
Matt:Okay, well, so far our assumptions are correct.
Eric:Okay, okay.
Matt:And this is an interesting baseline for us. Is it helping us answer the question at all?
Eric:No, and this is where we can continue making assumptions as we answer this question. We just pop them in, but for planning a trip.
Matt:Let me reel you in, but you continue your process. Let me point you and send you off like an RC car.
Eric:Yes, how do?
Matt:you, eric, plan a trip. Becky mentions that you're going with loved ones or friends or something like that, and I do think those are different trips, by the way, becky, like a friend's vacation versus a vacation with your family very different well, funny enough when, when I went to iceland last year, it was a sort of hybrid, because, while I guess that happens I I we were traveling with alissa's family yeah, so it was um alissa's dad and stepmom, uh, like three of alissa's siblings, sure, and and partners and such so while, like, we were traveling as like a unit siblings and I know what you meant.
Matt:You meant her siblings partners, but it did sound like all of alissa's partners.
Eric:We brought our we brought our our polyamorous harem with us.
Matt:Yes, we had to bring the whole harem with us.
Eric:Um, but it was cool because, yeah, we did have the considerations of and this is my first recommendation If you're traveling with like this sort of hybrid thing where it's like family unit where we were all staying in the same hotel but each day we would kind of plan we would all have breakfast together and there would be like some planned activities throughout the day. But we were in two separate rental cars. It was like parents in one car and a sibling and their partner in one car, and then the other car our car aka the fun motherfucking car was was Alyssa's brother's sister.
Matt:So what car was it I just want? I want the picture brother's sister.
Eric:So what car was it? I just want, I want the picture it was, I think it. I think it was like uh, like it was in the same neighborhood as like a santa fe, or like uh, like, uh, like, uh standard like gotcha, yeah, yeah suv.
Eric:Yeah, um, that is. My one recommendation is is uh, don't try to share one car among, like a group that that, that that is two cars worth of people. That will be a nightmare. Someone will end up being the designated chauffeur, and they will. They will be bitter about it. Uh, always give yourselves the option to travel separately and do your own thing.
Matt:I agree, I would agree with that.
Eric:Uh and and and. To that point, matt, here's an assumption about you and I feel like this this might be a safe assumption I don't think you have an itinerary down to the minute, but I think you, you know what your activities are going to include each day and you have, like you, you, you keep track of, like, all right, monday, we got this appointment here, which means we're going to be in this area then and we're going to do that, like you, and we're going to like do that. Like you, you have a schedule.
Matt:Depends on the trip. Depends on the trip. Depends on the trip is what I would say to that, this like annual beach trip that I am talking about, not hard and fast, cause the main activity every day is what going to the beach. So, like there are restaurants I know like I'd want to hit, or new ones I want to try, but like the ones my, you know, my parents and Lindsay and I like love, oh, we got to make sure we go there one night, you know, like.
Matt:So, like we have those types of plans I'd say but, but if I were going, like two ago when we went to Banff with good friends of the pod Sarah and Carissa for Lindsay's conference, but then we went up ahead of time to like enjoy the place before her work began. Yeah, we sort of planned out like this is more than likely the only time we're going to be there. So there was, you know, some research in advance of like, oh you, you want to go to this park, you want to get there before x time when it gets crazy. You know that kind of thing. So, yeah, I planned that out. Um, I would just say that that's how trips work. So I'd be a little surprised but I guess not surprised at the same time if you're like, oh, I'm going to disneyland and we'll just see what fucking happens, like that's that that level of trip to me, with no planning insanity, me yeah, you're so.
Eric:So where I sit in my planning process and and for the question, I'm gonna assume, like I'm actually gonna assume, outside of the, we're going on like a beach trip or something where it's like regularly assumed like beach is going to be the main. Yeah, exactly I'm assuming, let's assume a trip where we are going with friends, family, colleagues, what, what, and you're visiting a location for the very first time, so, like your Iceland trip is a good time.
Eric:Yeah, very first time, and it's a different and it's a different vibe, it's a different culture, exactly.
Matt:Yeah, ok, yeah, that's good. You know what let's? Let's go with that trip, because otherwise we'll be here all day.
Eric:So what I do in my planning is I will have major beats that I want to hit.
Matt:Exactly.
Eric:Like, like there was a and this was discussed among the whole group. It's not like I was generating these, these, these itinerary items, but like we know we wanted to hit. There's this, this national park where, like these, tectonic plates met and it's beautiful. We know we wanted to go there. We know there's a famous spa there in iceland that we wanted to visit the geothermal spa.
Matt:Oh, I'd love to now that I'm a spa man yeah, oh yeah, bro, you it's, it's dope.
Eric:So there are those major beats, but I, honest to god, like when I'm personally planning a trip, there's I have the list of things I know I want to do. I don't slot them into days or anything. I do to an extent because this is a listen I, when we're traveling, uh, we, honest to god, and we are so in the drift on this, it works very well for us. We plan a lot of our time to be like blank days where there's nothing on the schedule and we legitimately just kind of wing like we pick. We have designated days for going out among the populace and just winging it like we're gonna go, we're gonna park ourselves somewhere in the middle of this fucking this city, this, this, this place, this, this county country, what have you, and we're just gonna wander around and see what happens I'm with you on that to a certain extent.
Matt:If there's not a whole day that I set aside for like and this will be our free day, then I should. In my view, if it can be avoided, I like to keep one thing to each day.
Eric:Like an anchor thing.
Matt:Yeah, so, like, I will plan things to the extent of like, oh, maybe on Monday we go to this museum and then, and then that's the plan Right, so we can figure out, oh, the morning, the afternoon, whatever the, and then, if it rains, oh, maybe that has to become the free day, because the free day just became today, you know because now it's all rainy, you know so.
Matt:So yeah, I like a day of flexibility, but I don't like to. So I would say I plan, or the people I'm with plan a little bit day to day of like Monday we'll do this, tuesday we'll do this. But I like to leave enough flexibility that I don't necessarily feel anxiety over what else are we going to do that day, or things like that. But at the same time I get anxiety. During a vacation, if there's too much, just like sitting around time in like a new space, I'll start to feel like shouldn't we be doing something? Like shouldn't we be seeing a boot?
Eric:yeah, out in a boot, like that. That's why I'm like my default is like if I feel restless, I'm like I'm just gonna. This is one of my biggest tips for you. Also, if you're traveling with any size group and this is something you kind of want to you want to feel out and establish before, like before you you get there you will have such a better time if you disabuse yourself of the notion that the entire group has to be together for everything 100 of the time. Give yourself permission to go out and do your own thing and this is especially true. You will have such a better time.
Matt:This is especially true, I would say, on longer trips, because if you're taking like a two-week blowout bash to like Hawaii or something like with your family or whatever. You can't assume that you are going to want to all do the same stuff. Slash, be around each other. No straight weeks Like you got to have some time to be like go off and do your own fucking thing.
Eric:Especially because, like for me, for me, my ADHD brain, my the amount of time it takes me, like to use to use a phrase, like, when I go to a museum with a group of people, it can be stressful for me because we're slowly moving from installation to installation, right, and everyone has the amount of time that they need to experience an installation, see it, appreciate it and be ready to move on. That amount of time for me is significantly shorter than most people I do museums with, like I, I, I am. I always find myself like I'm one of the first people I'm like, all right, ready to call it like, and and that's where it it became easier for me to just say like hey, I'm gonna go wander over here, cause I'm literally chewing the inside of my cheek off waiting for the, the group to decide that, like, we're ready to move on.
Matt:Yeah, that scans. Uh, I've seen this, this behavior in you at certain times firsthand. You know you start looking at your phone is a big thing for you.
Matt:You start like walking around, you start pacing back and forth yep, um, so I, I, I can, I can picture you in a museum and know what you're talking about. Yep, um, but yeah, because, like I, I mean, I don't know, it depends for me. Like an art museum, yeah, I like to, I like to sit with the. These are especially art, that at first blush, I, I'm like they put this shit in a museum. You know, like you gotta meditate on it Exactly. I like to sit and be like, okay, what am I not seeing? You know, as an artist, like what am I overlooking, what am I not considering? And then like move on from there and whereas you I feel like in that same situation are like you look at it and you're walking away yeah, I, I and this isn't to like suggest that I have like, I'm not trying to be like oh, I'm so fucking brilliant, smart that I just get.
Matt:No, it's just like no it's, it's the opposite. You don't care about art and you don't wish to learn god matthew um, so, so, so, so that's that's.
Eric:That's big piece of advice. Number one a uh one. I agree with you on this. Everyone does not have to do the same thing together as a group, like it makes no different, like like, chase your bliss, you're on limited time, and that's another thing. In in. And, weirdly enough, my next piece of advice is going to kind of swing in the opposite direction when it comes to things you're going to do and see, because, becky, I agree, there's so much.
Matt:I was just going to circle back to that point as well, so go Except from the outset.
Eric:You will never see everything.
Matt:Correct. That's exactly what I was going to say.
Eric:There's going to be stuff that you will regret not having seen, and that's okay, once you accept that it gives you the space to actually enjoy the shit you are seeing, and what I would say is give yourself time to actually enjoy it. Quantity is not a quality.
Matt:On a trip, it doesn't matter if you saw like 20 different things in one day, if you only spent like 30 minutes at each thing and didn't actually get to enjoy it and this is where I feel like you and I might have a difference, okay, in approach, because I I completely agree with you, but because I'm aware of that in the lead up, I feel it's very important you to like do the proper research. Like, let's say, you're going to I don't know why this is jumping in mind, but like going to, like Egypt and seeing the pyramids. Like the pyramids, as we know from when we did Google gripes, are historically surrounded by scammers and swindlers who are trying to get you to take pictures with them and charge you lots of money, and so so, like, spend the time realizing that oh, it, it, it takes how long to get into the Pyramid of Giza, like all these different things. So you know, oh, okay, it's really like. Okay, lindsay and I, a while ago I mentioned this like two episodes ago, I think when we went to the Grand Canyon we went to Vegas and we took two days to drive to the Grand Canyon and back. And we did it that way because our research showed if you're going to the Grand Canyon, get there first fucking thing, in the morning, as soon as those gates open, you want to be there, because by noon the place is going to be inundated with people. Tourists, exactly so. Tourists, exactly so.
Matt:As a result, we left Vegas the day before, visited the Hoover Dam on the way over, drove to a cheap ass motel outside Grand Canyon, got there as soon as it opened, saw what we wanted to see, saw everything around, drove back to Vegas and like, that is the level of planning that I think is necessary. You want to do research and you want you. Everyone knows I like a ranking. Everyone knows I like is necessary. You want to do research and you want everyone knows I like a ranking. Everyone knows I like a ranking. But here's where it's actually important, because you want okay, there's a million things you want to do on your trip to Million million To Nashville, right, so, like, go through how many days you're going to be there.
Matt:Think about, okay, that's one major event a day. Maybe. Start ranking the like. I'm going to be upset if I leave Nashville without seeing these five things. That's what I would say Yep, so prioritize it. So, like, you have your must hits along the way. And then the next tier down is oh, I hope I get to this. Yes, I hope I get to this restaurant.
Eric:I hope I get to try this. I hope we have time. If we find ourselves some free time, ooh, find ourselves some free time.
Matt:Ooh, I agree, because one of Becky's questions and concerns here is lots of busy activities or just sitting down. For God's sakes, I think you've got to prioritize both those things sitting down.
Eric:For god's sakes. I think you got to prioritize both those things. You do have to prioritize because, like it's one thing to look at the chunks of hours in your day and fear and theory craft like, okay, I can feasibly do these things, but you also you got to bake in two things. One you're gonna need downtime you're gonna need. I thrive on a trip, when I have enough time to take a quick nap or something in the middle of the day, recharge my fucking batteries, otherwise I start crashing out and that's important to you.
Matt:That would drive me fucking nuts because I'm not a good napper but because we're good travel mates, we we give each other permission.
Eric:I'm like, yeah, matt, I'm gonna nap, and you're like I'm gonna go check out this thing. I really want to go.
Matt:And I'm like, yeah, matt, I'm going to nap, and you're like I'm going to go check out this thing I really want to go and I'm like, good, I support this or great, I'm going to sit down with a cocktail on my book.
Eric:You're going to do your relaxing thing, I'm going to do my relaxing thing and we don't even have to do them in the same place.
Matt:We don't have to, then we'll go to the restaurant we're going to for dinner, and that's how I often operate with these trips. There's the main event of the day, there's dinner at this place, and then there's this gap in between those things where you can just kind of chill out, because it is still supposed to be relaxing.
Eric:Yeah, I would also say, in this budgeting of time, giving yourself downtime is important. Also, when you're going to places, when you know you're going to be like visiting something and there's going to be travel, give yourself more time than you think you need. Give yourself time to go off the beaten path and chase after fun, dumb shit. And let me let me explain. We're currently planning a trip trip. We're doing a road trip in an rv to tennessee in july. For the fourth of july. We're going to the caverns. Um, it's a, it's a giant venue in tennessee. It's literally bands play in a big fuck off huge cavern and a bunch of bands we love are going to play there. They're gonna play in a cavern yeah it, yeah. It's really cool, like the acoustics are insane.
Matt:I was going to say it sounds like the acoustics would be awful.
Eric:Yeah, apparently they work very well.
Matt:And it makes it it's like a.
Eric:It's like an amphitheater that leads down to a giant cavern. Oh, okay, um, so we, we, obviously we. We're gonna go see the caverns. We're gonna go see dollywood uh, that's gonna be fun, um, but we're. What we're really excited about is that we've budgeted time on the road trip. We math it out so that if we see like crazy roadside attractions or like wild dumb shit, we can just go chase after that. Give yourself time that that because I can get stressed when I know exactly what my trip is going to look like before I've even experienced it. Like, oh OK, I'm going to be here this day, I'm going to be here this day, I'm going to be doing like this. I like to have some time to follow my curiosity and to like chase after fun dumb shit, like it can be a lot of fun.
Matt:And I think, I think what we're learning here is the big tip is like plan that sucker out so to your needs. Because one thing that, like I think, we have both overlooked and we should have said it right at the top is everything we're talking about is coming from the perspective of, and probably for single non-children owning adults. Yes, because this arithmetic changes so much if there are children in the equation. The parents listening to this are probably like, wow, these two.
Eric:Must be nice.
Matt:Must be nice in this kid-free life, because I'd say, although I don't have kids, I would say, if you're planning a trip, you're planning a trip for the kids.
Matt:Yeah you just happen to be there. You are a chaperone and I don't think that I still think they're. Plan some time for yourself, but keep in mind that self-time is probably oh, I'll bring this book for the hours of 9 to midnight, when my kids are finally fucking asleep, yeah, like, because that's what. That's what it's going to look like, but also like plan things that you want your kids to experience, but you want to experience with them. I say from my place of privilege, of not being a parent. So you know, I just wanted to flag that asterisk before we move on to our next question here, because, becky, I think we've given you some stuff here.
Eric:If I could give one more piece of parting advice.
Matt:I have to say Eric we approach this question especially you, eric, like you would like as if we would be adversaries. No, no, no, no. Well, kind of, but no, no, no. What I was going to say is, like you, your whole approach here you drop the fact that this is a comedy show, like not not in a bad way. I'm saying you were like I've been waiting to give this presentation.
Eric:Here's my, here's my brass tack soapbox.
Matt:Yeah, so, so yeah, I'm, I'm. I want to know how you close it. Close this TED, talk out Eric.
Eric:My one last piece of parting advice. Yeah, let's hear it. And this is in terms of how you figure out. This is an approach to both what there is to do Most people, I imagine when they're going to a place.
Eric:You're looking at travel guides, you're Googling. There's the famous stuff, you want to see the famous stuff, there's the famous stuff, and then there's the cool stuff. You want to see the famous stuff, there's the famous stuff, and then there's the cool stuff. Sure, yeah, if you want to find cool stuff, you have to talk to the right people. So when you get to where you're going and let's assume, for the sake of this argument, that it might be like a popular tourist destination You're going to find bars. If the bar is mostly full of tourists or fellow travelers, you're in the wrong bar. That's when you go up to the bartender and you ask them where they go to drink. When they get off shift, they're going to tell you where they go to drink and then you're going to go to that bar because that's where the locals drink. That's when you're going to go up, order your drinks. This is where you're going to put on your charm. You're going to talk to people because that's where you find out from the locals. And, honest to God, I found the most success with just being perfectly blunt and being like hey, I'm not from here, I don't want to go check out the tourist shit. What's cool to do around here. The bartenders at the local bars and the patrons there will give you solid, fucking gold advice. That's how we learned.
Eric:For example, we went to Iceland. We checked out their famous is called Blue Lagoon Spa. It's the famous like geothermic spa. It was really cool, really really fucking awesome. But we later found out either from a bartender or from a local or someone just like talk to the locals and ask like, hey, what is actually cool to do around? They let us know oh hey, there's a whole ass other geothermic spa that's like a third of the price, way fucking better and it's just lovely. Go check this one out. And we went to that one and had way better of a time and it was fucking dope. Talk to people. People only mind, seem to mind tourists. When tourists approach them with loud, obnoxious like oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm so excited to check out the fucking famous thing sure just level with them, be like hey, I'm not from around here, what's cool to check out?
Eric:I want to see. I want to see like what, what you get excited about, and that's how we find that's how we, yeah, and I think that's stuff you find that's how we yeah and I think that's stuff you can do ahead of time too.
Matt:It's called reddit. Like it's called reddit, jump on reddit and, of course, if you know someone there, ask the question. Yeah is what I'd say. Yeah, and the uh. So yeah, I think I agree with you there. I think I'd put that into my research and similarly, I did something like that in vegas. We ended up going to this uh restaurant, um, down the street from us. That was off the strip, and it became clear to us immediately oh, this is the type of place the locals go, and they don't go anywhere near the fucking strip. You know, like, and it and it was chill, it was cheap and it was great. We ended up going there twice, uh, so, like, you gotta be on the lookout for that kind of shit too, yeah, so yeah, I, becky. I hope we've answered the question. I feel like we've provided very mature, mature advice. Mature advice for the traveler among you yes, um, yeah, two good advice for the traveler among you yes, yeah, keep your heart open for adventure, but also-.
Eric:Follow your curiosity.
Matt:Follow your curiosity, but also make sure you plan so you don't leave disappointed by not seeing certain things that you got your heart set on.
Eric:That's what it's yeah, dog.
Matt:Speaking of dogs. Speaking of dogs, I think it's time to move on to our next question. He's got that dog in him. What dog, what breed? And what do you got that dog in him? What do you got that dog in him? And this comes from just me, this just comes from my brain, this is your 2am thoughts.
Eric:This is just a thought I had. So, eric, you got that dog in you. I do got that dog in you, I do got that dog in me. Uh, woof, woof, tell me about that dog there. There's two kind of, there's two kind, there's the pop if you say anything about two wolves being inside you. That is not the conversation we're having no, that that is an entirely separate conversation.
Matt:No I don't want to hear about wolves, but when he got that dog, when he got that dog in him.
Eric:So so, when, when you hear this phrase in and in the, in the, the lexicon, in the, in the, in the common vernacular, it usually means to express like, like, oh man, like someone's on top of their fucking game, someone's's like approaching a problem, a contest, something like they are going for the fucking. They're going metaphorically for the fucking throat. So when I imagine that, when he's got that dog in him, I don't even, I don't even see, I see aspects of so many different kinds of dogs. First of all, the dog in me is a fucking mutt.
Matt:First of all, I think you're on to it. We should have started with a nice definition. Here's what Urban Dictionary's got, for he got that dog oh hit me up, an expressive saying to describe one with overwhelming confidence that does not have the ability to take an L Example. Joey, damn, you see Mason bagging that bitch over there. Zach, yeah, bruh, he got that dog. There's Urban Dictionary. I knew that was too straightforward and that dog, that dog is a mutt.
Eric:That dog, that dog. First of all it's jowly. It's got the under teeth. It's like the dog you see in all the Looney Tunes. It's got them tusk teeth that come out from the bottom lip. It's got the jowls. His haunches are so muscly that his legs are doing that thing. Where he's like pigeon-toed, his little feet are bent in.
Matt:Because his shoulders.
Eric:He doesn't so much walk as he waddles.
Matt:Yeah, because his shoulders need to be turned out to support his muscular body. Oh my God, Because here's another definition on Urban Dictionary.
Matt:This one comes from Gigi, your beloved, not literally meaning such this saying. This saying instead suggests that the person saying it has the qualities of a dog loyalty, protectiveness, strength, etc. Person one how'd you lift that boulder? Person two I got that dog in me. I I agree that that is an applicable sentence to throw down. I got that dog in me, but I I think it's more the strength or it's more the like, uh, energetic qualities of a dog than it is the loyalty and things like that it is a testament to will.
Eric:It is like a testament here's a question from reddit.
Matt:Okay, serious question. What the fuck does he got that dog in him? Mean Top voted result is you don't got that dog in you, so I hope that clears up the direction we're going. In everybody it is also.
Eric:I think it's also important to clarify that someone can have that dog in them, yeah, but the dog isn't always home. I feel like it is. It is not like a like when someone's like, oh, he's got that dog and they're not like that, 100 of the time they have to summon up the dog, the dog is visiting. The dog is visiting. The dog is metaphorically. The dog house is my body and the dog is in there. He's like ready to be on leash. Yeah, the dog's ready to go?
Matt:yeah, but he ain't always gonna be in his house he gonna be out.
Eric:No, sometimes, sometimes you get caught without that dog in you. So, and god help you, god help you. Sometimes the dog is laying on top of the house like snoopy taking a nap. Yes, you gotta. You gotta figure some shit out. You gotta get the dog back home.
Matt:You gotta wake. You gotta get the dog back home. You got to wake up. You got to set the dog on ascent.
Eric:In that case, Matt, when you got that dog in you. What does that dog look like? What'd that dog do?
Matt:What'd that dog do, I think, bark? For me it was more of a howl.
Eric:That was more of a howl, but that's because I was thinking husky I was thinking my dog might be a husky.
Matt:A dog of endurance, a dog of endurance, a working dog, a working dog.
Eric:An anxious dog, A dog that needs a job to do or it will tear all your furniture apart.
Matt:So that's what drew me to that, despite that not being my favorite dog, which is a yellow lab, because of course I grew, grew up with one, so therefore it is my favorite. Yeah, but the? Um? I don't think. I don't think I'm a yellow lab, I don't think I'm a golden retriever, that's why. But I think I'm in the neighborhood, which is why I went husky, because there's more. I look at a husky and I see a fellow spirit.
Eric:And you also have husky eyes.
Matt:You have those icy blue eyes, I do and like, I also feel like the husky is a judgmental dog and I respect that about them.
Eric:The dog. A husky is one of those dogs, and there are many breeds like this where you have to earn it.
Matt:And that's what I want. This goes back to the horse discussion we had a couple of episodes ago. I want to be the horse that people are afraid of, but once you have earned the respect of the horse, yeah, you really feel like you have won the lottery, like you are a special soul because I have selected you. Again. I say once again I did know the sociopath test.
Eric:Answer immediately yeah um, I also imagine that that my dog barks. It's not like a wolf, it's a like, it's like that throaty, like fuck it, bro, I've, I've, nailed it. Do you know the? When you got that dog in them?
Matt:you've seen the sandlot eric, that's the dog if you ever insult me again, okay, like my dog, I don't know the sand is like a puff of dusty breath coming out of an ancient dog house.
Eric:That's the dog.
Matt:Well, that dog is is sort of meant to evoke kujo before you get to know the dog. Right, it's a saint bernard, it's crazy, it's all drooly, but, like you know, it ain't no cujo it ain't no cujo hercules, that's the dog's name that's right, it is and uh, he's a good boy. Yes, I forgot about my dog is a good boy.
Eric:See, that's like I feel, like the dog in me emerges. My dog's like a paladin. My dog doesn't like indiscriminately bark at people. Sure my dog emerges when someone is being a bully or someone is confidently incorrect.
Matt:That is when my dog comes forth. Eric, you mentioned being a mutt and I don't disagree, but I do want you to put a breed to it. So here's what I think If you had I before you know we abandoned this I want you to tell me a specific breed for yourself and I. I think you should give a breed to me as well. I've already chosen my breed for myself the Husky but like I'd be interested to see what you have to say about me yeah, cause I myself I got an idea for a breed for you.
Eric:Okay, a breed, so for you? Yeah. Oh man, I'm not going to default to Golden Retriever Too easy. What I will say let's see.
Matt:You said too easy. Do you think it applies? Because I really don't think it applies I true, it does not that.
Eric:That's that's why, like I feel like most people are like, oh, golden retriever, like they, because it's it's considered like such a compliment, but but like temperament wise, you're not a golden retriever like and similarly, I cast you we've talked about this before in a show where the character description was a golden retriever of a person.
Eric:Yes, and you played that character extremely well, thank you, but I don't think you yourself are a golden retriever I appreciate you, um, I would say because we, we want something that captures the, the anxiety, the need to do and have a task. You know what? Oh, bro, you're a shepherd dog, like you are a.
Matt:I take it.
Eric:Yeah, yeah, I don't know the name of the exact breed, but like the dog that literally they use to herd sheep, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is you.
Matt:Yeah, I accept that as a breed. You protect, but you direct. Any of any of the shepherds I agree with, maybe not german, but other than that, the others I agree with. Yeah, um, so what breed for?
Eric:yourself for myself. Uh, this might just be because my brother has one and I, I, I love him very and and I identify very heavily with this dog. Um, people will jokingly say great Dane, just cause I'm tall, um, but but no, um, uh, too easy. Newfoundland, ooh, a new fee, a new fee there. They're big, they have a big, gigantic presence, but they are not like high. They're very chill dogs until you give them a reason to not be chill and similarly, I was going with a slightly different vibe.
Matt:I was going with the. I wouldn't say they're chill all the time, but they are known for both when you give them a reason to be aggressive or be protective, which is more the direction I'm going.
Eric:They will do so. But they can also be aloof and gangly and just bump into shit. A boxer, yeah.
Matt:I see a boxer for you.
Eric:I do love boxers.
Matt:Because they can be aggressive, they can be very energetic.
Eric:God love them.
Matt:They need something to do, but they can also be just silly boys.
Eric:Silly boys that think they're so much smaller than they are. They do think that what are you doing? Going in there? You're too big for that.
Matt:You can't be in there. You can't be in there, but they don't know.
Eric:They don't know, they refuse to believe, but they don't know. How many times have you turned to? You just go off doing my thing and you turn people like he doesn't know, he doesn't you gotta you gotta let he'll tucker himself out a little bit, he'll tucker himself.
Matt:You know you can't just bring him to a museum.
Eric:He doesn't look at things right yeah, I think everyone has a different breed of dog in them yeah, yeah, and I think I don't think it's out of line to say that that breed can change that breed, can change over time because there's definitely times that I'm a kuja, you know.
Matt:Oh yeah, I'm a rabid saint bernard, you know, there are definitely times. There are definitely times, and there's definitely times where I feel like a lab or a golden retriever, just a good boy who lives to be a good, good boy. And then there are other times you got that dog, I got that dog, you got that dog, yeah, and that dog is a fucking chihuahua who's yelling at things that can easily kill him, but he doesn't know or care.
Eric:Yeah, can I straw poll you on something real quick? Always, always. Can you recall a recent time or just a time in your life when you've seen someone and thought to yourself oh, you got that dog in them not authentically, because I don't think I am a bro, so I I don't think.
Matt:That thought just crosses my brain in a non-bit setting yeah, okay.
Eric:Well, let me see this like can you think of a recent example? You see someone and in retrospect you're like oh, he had that dog in him.
Matt:I'm thinking do you have?
Eric:one ready to go? Yes, uh, I, I've, I've got one, and this is this is. This is like an in retrospect yeah one I.
Eric:I've got two quick examples. Example number one I was this. I was this was years ago I was driving through Baltimore and there was I. I accidentally cut someone off, like I didn't realize they were trying to get over, and, like I, it was one of those where I'm like, oh, if I had been paying more attention I should have just let you over, you, you you should have gotten over. And there was this dude in a minivan who was just like dancing, like doing little grooves in his driver's seat, and then, like I, accidentally cut him off and without missing a beat and without like breaking stride in his dancing, he just did a little flip me off and it was like oh, he got that dog in bark.
Eric:Other example these are, and these are like different flavors of having that dog in you. Uh, recently I was walking little nizumi, uh, the palm tree of the house, and I was walking across the park and I see, and like I'm in dundalk, so like there's this guy walking down the street. I'm in dundalk. It is not uncommon for people to be walking down the street yelling random shit, yeah to themselves, to a nearby, to someone, and this guy, unseen third party, this guy is walking down the street loudly yelling he just keeps going my baby, where's my baby? And I'm like just doing that, I'm like what the fuck is happening. And then at and and I realized it's because like where he was walking there was like a little slight hill inclined so I couldn't see like near his feet too well but he just goes where's my baby? And then a little, a little wiener dog in a sweater runs up behind him to his side. He goes oh, there you are. Oh man, oh, he's got that dog in him. That is sweet.
Matt:I did like it as a story better when it was just a random, yeah drugged man saying where my baby as he goes down a hill.
Eric:That dude was so chill. We pass by each other and normally I I typically I judge the fuck out of out of people who walk around with their dogs not on a leash, uh, but oh yeah, this dog was not on a leash, but once I saw the dog approaching, it was an ancient little wiener dog wearing a cardigan. I'm like okay, okay this dog is is not like.
Eric:Here's what we. We walked by I I learned his name is pretty boy. Oh um, and he came up. He was flirting with nazumi. They, they, they liked each other a lot. A lot of waggle of the tail is very chill, but he's like, as the owners walk, he's like pretty boy, what are you doing? Pretty pretty boy, come on, we gotta go. I can't watch, I can't leave you around the girls, pretty boy, come on, pretty boy. And then pretty boy can't help himself when he's around the girls. Pretty boy cannot help. And that guy, that guy had that dog in him. That dog was pretty boy I think the last time.
Matt:I don't think I thought it at the time. But now I'm thinking of a person who did have that dog in that dog. We were at a yankee oreo game at camden yards not too long ago and the the guy in front of me had decked out in old, like older merch, like the jacket from the 90s, the sport jacket, you know the one I'm talking about. It's puffy, like he's got that Oreo jacket on that he's been clearly using every year for 35 years to come to these, these seats. He's talking to people around him as if they're his friends when they are not. He is texting people on his phone about the game, the phone. I know this because his phone script size, his text size, was big enough that from the row behind it I could read it.
Matt:And there were times Lindsay was like saying something to me and I'd say I'm sorry, I'm reading because I'm just reading this guy's text and like he's texting somebody about, oh my God, I can't believe you know what the so-and-so in the bullpen. What a piece of shit, like all this kind of stuff that he'sling from from you know certainly inaudible distance. It's not like he's front row of the dugout, like he. He's trying to heckle people. He's with no one, he has no accompaniment, he's just there by himself. He's sending it. He had that dog in him. He got that dog.
Eric:He had that dog.
Eric:If I could leave us with one more example this is when, when I and, and because I thought I was like, oh this, I didn't witness this happen, but this is a famous example. Uh, this was the dude, um, the soccer fan in london. Uh, when there was, like this crazy ass knife attack in a steakhouse near l Bridge, like three knife-wielding attackers barged in and began like slashing at diners and this dude stood up and screamed famously, fuck you, I'm Millwall. And just started fighting three knife-wielding maniacs, while the rest of the diners could get out and get to safety. He had that dog in him.
Matt:He had that dog in him, or the lion, which I believe is the um the badge of middle wall, Um. So absolutely, and yeah, I'd say definitely, got that dog in him. If you any kind of heroicism, fuck yeah, you got that dog.
Eric:And I'll say this I wish you would. I'll say this no one, if you can hear my voice, I'll tell you this right now.
Matt:Tell it to me, for God's sake. You got that dog in you, you might have that dog.
Eric:The question isn't do you have that dog in you? The question is when you're going to let them out.
Matt:Oh, Eric Issuing a challenge to the audience.
Matt:I like that. I like ending it with a challenge, because that does indeed transition right on into our next segment of the show, which is, of course, google great season. Five, round two, part two. Round two, part two, round two. Because right now, eric, you turned in your, your half of round two. Uh, last episode, perfect score, perfect score. So you are up 5-2 on the live table after getting 3 for 3. You've really put me up against it with this one. So, for those of you, new, real quick Google Gripes game, we play One star Google reviews. They're real, we read them, the other person guesses them. We've done locations in the past. Now we're doing movies. Current scores five to two. You caught up good matthew, are you ready?
Eric:hmm, yes, very good and, honestly, similar to what you told me last time. I don't I've. I've got my three movies.
Matt:I've been struggling with putting putting them on a difficulty scale, so I'm just gonna throw them out and that's very fair, because that is exactly what I said to you last time I wasn't sure what was the easiest, what was the hardest.
Eric:I appreciate the uh transparency.
Matt:I wasn't even intending to do that, it's just like I was like I can't quantify it so, uh, five to two, I am down, I'm getting, I'm getting notepad ready so I can jot some notes if necessary. So, eric, whenever you're ready, my friend, I am ready to receive them. Reviews.
Eric:Movie one Review number one. This movie is just the blank movie's less cool, less thick cousin. It doesn't deserve all the hype TBH. The movie itself is fine, but it needs to be thicker. I will change my rating when it becomes thick. The blank movie is much better. Hashtag we love thick, blank.
Matt:Hmm, okay, that's interesting Review number two.
Eric:After watching this movie, my sister lost a child oh my God. Immediately after leaving the hospital, we found a blue ant in her. Oh my God, okay.
Matt:Mention of Nicolas Cage in a way that says to me he's not in the film. One of the is an interesting thing to pull out, and so is blue ant. All of that adding up to absolutely nothing for me.
Eric:Continue review number three this is just upsetting and the animation was disappointing because it felt like the cars trailer from 2005. Blank was 20 times better Okay.
Matt:Interesting. I think I have a guess, because I was thinking animated, I was getting animated vibes and I was sort of between two options. Like it was a remake, like I was thinking, oh, this is a they're talking about compared to the original. Is what I was thinking, but maybe I was off track. But I'm going to ask a clarifying question you can tell me if this is true or not? When, in this review, you censored the blank movie? Yeah, is the name of that movie the something movie?
Eric:It is not literally the something movie. I will tell you this it's something movie.
Matt:Oh, okay, Then I think I have my guess. What's your guess? I think the movie that is censored is B movie and the movie in question. I'm between two.
Eric:I know which two they are.
Matt:I hope I'm not picking the wrong one, I'm gonna say a bug's life you chose correctly, the other one being ants yes, yes.
Eric:And and in the last, in the last one, when they said blank was 20 times better, they, it was ants was 20 times better yeah, I disagree with that probably, but to be honest, I haven't seen these two in a generation I've actually never seen ants, I've never seen b movie ants is good.
Matt:I've I've never seen b movie. I feel like I know all the plot points of b movie from reputation alone, but yeah well, actually sorry, technically.
Eric:I have seen b movie, but I've only seen the version where the movie doubles in speed every time they say the word b. Oh, oh yeah.
Matt:That's very good, but the key there for me was the blue ant. That is what put me on the track of Bugs Life. Yep, okay, all right, as I say always, at least I got that first one out of the way. So I'm not zeroing it out.
Eric:Yeah.
Matt:Second movie Second movie, second movie.
Eric:First review. First review Was excited to watch this movie based off memes I've seen. It looked very good. The plot actually was good and I was intrigued. The main character was very interesting. After about 35 minutes the movie went to shit. There was no sense of direction and turned into nothing but sex and unrealistic murder. An absolute waste of two hours. So disappointed in this movie. It had no sense of direction and was completely pointless.
Matt:The movie is terrible okay, um, not a ton there. It's memeable sex and murder after the first 30 minutes, but it's two hours long. That's the main points I'm taking away.
Eric:Review number two. Review number two. This movie is an insult to cinema, to writing, to storytelling and to its audience. It is only a gore fest without character development, story or anything else for that matter. It seems like it only offers to show the problems of our society. When so many hype up films like these, films with no reason, concern or justification to exist, it feels like a slap in the face. Avoid, okay.
Matt:All right, I think I know the genre at the very least. Like I think I'm in the ballpark, yeah.
Eric:Review number three Uh-huh Character talks about himself like a 12-year-old child in a YN Wattpad fanfic. Trying to be deep, he talks as if he's trying to sell you a secondhand car and keeps bragging over the fact that he has no personality. The acting was good and I get that it was satire, but I had higher hopes Satire.
Matt:That is not where I was thinking at all. Okay, oh shit, that was review number three. That was review number three, was review number three. Oh god, oh golly. All I wrote down from that was character talks about self satire do you know I'm gonna pause right there.
Eric:Do you know what I mean when I say a yn wattpad fanfic? No, uh, y slash n means your name. So it's like there there are people who like write fanfic and there are ones where, like you can just insert your name as the character's name. Oh, okay.
Matt:Eric, I'm lost on this. Eric, I'm lost on this. I thought for sure for a while we were talking about like a classic slasher, like a Friday the 13th, a Halloween, some sort of horror movie where, like, there's teen sex and lots of death after the first 30 minutes or so. But the satire is really throwing me, because that could be like a lot of different things.
Eric:Like, is it a?
Matt:spoof, or is it a?
Eric:commentary.
Matt:And when they're talking about character talking about himself for some reason, I thought, is that meaning they're talking about themselves in the third person? And in which case, for some reason? I don't think this is it. I think we might have done it too. I was thinking that sounds like Quint from Jaws, little bit to me like talking about himself and his grand adventures and all this stuff. I could also see it being kevin spacey in like american beauty or the usual suspects. Yeah, uh, but that doesn't have the gore factor. So then I was back to like are we talking about like a Tarantino movie, but which, which would have both of those things like uh, the, the and, and they mentioned unnecessary, like an unrealistic death? So I was like that to me says something like uh, uh, uh, dead alive kind of movie, where it's like very over the top, very intentionally, sort of bad, but there's no sex in dead alive, also known as brain dead. Um, great, you know the movie I'm talking about.
Eric:Okay, just making sure it's been a while since I kick ass for the lord.
Matt:Um god, what a great fucking peter jackson movie that is. Um, uh, but yeah, um but yeah overall. I'm a little bit lost on this eric and I don't have a good guess lined up. What I know is it's satirical, possibly, possibly satirical.
Eric:That's just what the reviewer said. Who can say?
Matt:that's just what the reviewer said. It could just have a message and like that the god, you were in a movie. Have a message god forbid an artist try to make a statement. Um, to be honest, I don't remember donnie darko well enough to know to remember like I seen parts of it. So I know the character like talks about himself and feels like he doesn't have a personality or whatever, but that I mean if it was TV you could be talking about Dexter, I guess.
Eric:Yeah.
Matt:And is that itself a hint? Are we talking about, like something around a serial killer and and something that has sex involved? Because for a while I was thinking we could be talking about any one of the saws oh sure but they but there's not enough sex yeah, to check the sex.
Eric:My one gripe with that series god, if only there was more penetration only there was more bush, more penetration that didn't involve a blade Yep. Well, Matt.
Matt:Damn, eric. I know I got to. I was trying to talk my way into an answer, yeah, and I just don't have a good one. The Nicolas Cage oh, that was the last one that was yeah. And it's also memeable, that's the thing like yeah, it comes to me from memes. If I'm that first reviewer, I was interested in this because of the memes. I'm not gonna get this. I know I'm not. Is it seven?
Matt:I'm gonna go with seven I'm gonna say seven I'm gonna say I was close with the, the Kevin Spacey thing, and I had the wrong movie. I don't feel great about it. I don't feel a hundred percent, but I got to say something. I'm going to go. I know I'm taking an L on this. I don't have that dog on me. I'm going to say seven.
Eric:Matthew, yeah, it is not. Seven is not seven. Is it one of the many movies I mentioned? No, actually damn. And this is going to be one where I I I don't know how to sugarcoat this you're going to be mad, matt and we, and it's actually appropriate that we had the cold open, that we did. But, matt, I'm going to rewind our memory to just pass the cold open. I'm already upset. I'm already primed to be angry if you remember when I mentioned handing you my business card?
Matt:I mean look at the subtle off-white coloring, the tasteful thickness of it.
Eric:Oh my God, Matt, it even has a watermark. You all have to know american psycho is one of his favorite movies and he's read the book, I thought this would be a slam goddamn entertaining thought this would be a slip dunk, everybody happy.
Matt:You're trying to make sure that you keep pace with eric and you're not thinking about your own fucking knowledge, your own fucking brain oh, he's back, he's back, here he comes.
Eric:Hey, how you feeling, buddy?
Matt:Was it American Psycho? It was American Psycho. Yeah, fucking fuck. I saw you talking. I had to leave the room. I don't know if Eric mentioned that.
Eric:I was giving them some backstory how it's one of your favorite movies. It's like you've read the book. I wouldn't say it's one of your favorite movies. It's like you've read the book and like I I wouldn't say it's one of my favorite movies.
Matt:I have read the book. You dot, you dove into it hard. Yeah, the book is the movie. It's a great movie. It's quite different than the book. The book is so much worse. Oh my god, the gerbil, um, anyway, the yeah, okay, I see it now I see it now.
Eric:I was like, I was like and the whole time I was like any second he's gonna like any second and that's why I kept talking.
Matt:I was talking myself because I was like one of these things. I was I'm gonna diarrhea the mouth, something that's gonna make me go oh it this. But it didn't quite happen. So the score right now is still five to three, with a movie remaining, so you will have an advantage going into the last round. The question is how much? God, I hope I get this Movie three Review.
Eric:Number one With a game in hand.
Matt:With a game in hand. Yeah, yeah.
Eric:Review number one movie three Absolute garbage. One of the worst movies I've seen in my life. A cliche fest of boring, unlikable characters by a B-list group of actors none of whom can carry a film. And I'm just going to tell you this now. You're out of the review right now. No, no, no, no. I'm about to start saying, like famous actor in brackets, these are all famous actors okay, no, that's what I was saying yeah the words you're speaking are not in the review no so yeah, to clarify.
Eric:You just said they're b list actors b, you're saying actors none of whom can carry a film, and that was.
Matt:that was where I cut off and you cut off and you're saying these are a list actors.
Eric:These are, these are like.
Matt:I say famous actor in brackets.
Eric:These are famous actors, ok, ok. So to start. Famous actor proves time and again that he's box office cancer. And other famous actor was never anything more than a poor man's. Harrison ford, holy fuck, I know what a fucking dig, uh, not to mention. Third famous actor a total ass wipe of an actor. The plot isn't worth mentioning and there's nothing about this film to recommend. It isn't funny. The action sequences are recycled. Cgi you've seen a hundred times and there's no romance that I can remember. If you see this pos movie on tv somewhere and you will turn the channel quickly, whoa like.
Matt:For the first time in a long time, I have to say, you have presented a review that really fucking went for it. Visceral Like this guy hates this movie With like despises it. Like this review, tells me if you brought this movie up to this man in a bar. God help you.
Eric:Truly. And what's wild is reading the one-star reviews for this movie. Up to this man in a bar. God help you. Yeah, truly. And what's wild is reading the one star reviews for this movie. I had to like filter through because most of them were of this tone just utter and it.
Eric:I'm just saying like that's not even a hint, because it makes no sense to me, like it is completely visceral hatred of this movie. Okay, review number two. Review number two the most funny movie ever, for sure. The human war toys are going to destroy a huge blank with high technology, hollywoob propaganda, human war toys are going to destroy something I lost.
Matt:the end of it.
Eric:Destroy a huge blank with high technology Review number three. The special effects were excellent, particularly for the 90s, but the storyline is the biggest load of far-fetched, contrived and laughably unbelievable garbage I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. That was three. Again, that was three again.
Matt:That was three again. Okay, I mean, eric, this is good, I mean this is hard. I might very well end up with five to three going in, because I'm gonna have to give you some hard, hard, hard reviews in round.
Matt:Oh, you're gonna have to, you're gonna have to hurt me bad eric I have so many ideas written down I'm going to tell you right now what I've written down throughout the course of what you've written, okay, okay, my, the first thing I wrote down was small soldiers. Oh fucking love small soldiers, small soldiers, eric. First thing I wrote down. Second thing I wrote down independence day. Third thing, I wrote down con air. Fourth thing I wrote down the rock. So all four food groups and I'm not even sure any of them are correct. I think I'm ruling out small soldiers. Okay, because I I don't get, even though it's a mix, I don't get an animated vibe from um, from the story Box office. Cancer put me on the scent of Nicolas Cage. I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. I do not agree with that, but it put me on the.
Eric:It put me in mind of Nicolas Cage when you put yourself in the shoes of someone with objectively wrong opinions.
Matt:Yes, and that could be who this person is referring to as a poor man's Harrison Ford. And that's tripping me up, because I'm thinking to myself who is a poor man's Harrison Ford? You know, like, yeah, that's like I'm using my brain and the first thing that came to mind and again I don't agree with this was Jeremy Renner.
Matt:Like, for some reason, that name came to mind hawk guy, hawk guy like I was like I like because he has a little bit of like a dignity to him but he's also an action star and he he has one-liners. So I was like, okay, he kind of checks all the different boxes, harrison ford checks Different boxes.
Eric:Harrison Ford checks A certain Junagere Renner. Junagere quoi? Yeah?
Matt:But it's also a movie that's always on TV.
Eric:You're chasing all the right leads.
Matt:I will say it's always on TV. That's pointing me towards the Rock and Con Air, and I'm leaning a lot harder towards the rock mentions lots of bad cgi and then other places.
Eric:The cgi is complimented but?
Matt:but the thing is, you're talking about the um, a huge thing with human technology, or the quote is with high technology.
Eric:If I I'll give you the quote again uh, for sure, the human war toys are going to destroy a huge blank with high technology. I'll give you the quote again For sure, the human war toys Are going to destroy a huge blank With high technology. What I believe this person is trying to convey Is the humans are going to Destroy a huge blank. That is, the blank has high technology.
Matt:I see, in that case I'm ruling out the rock, because theist there is like a terrorist group and it's bomb-based and I don't think that's what it is. I think the mention of human war toys, now that I'm on to it, is because I was confused about the high technology. I thought you were saying the humans are using high technology to defeat the foe Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Matt:But in effect, because Independence Day, I was like, oh, it can't be that, because they ultimately just fly a fucking F-16 into the thing, and that's why I think now it is Independence Day. And that's my final answer.
Eric:Before I tell you what the answer is, do you want to know the three names that were blanked out? Yeah, Will Smith, Bill Pullman and one Jeff Goldblum. He's back, baby. It is Independence Day, he's back.
Matt:All right, five to four I can work with.
Eric:Bill Pullman, the poor man's Harrison Ford. Oh, I know why they're saying that because of space balls.
Matt:Oh, oh, oh they're saying that because of space.
Eric:Oh see, I didn't even put that together. I thought he was saying because harrison ford had played a president and then bill pullman was playing the president in this one the harrison ford's played multiple presidents at this point, but of course I think you're thinking of Air.
Matt:Force One. What a great movie.
Eric:Oh yeah, but with Bill Pullman in Spaceballs I will accept no insult of Bill Pullman.
Matt:No, Bill Pullman is a national treasure and I'll say, okay, you want to call Bill Pullman B-list, I'll agree with you Jeff Goldblum, especially then A-list Will Smith.
Eric:A-list.
Matt:Even with his recent bullshit, he's still.
Eric:A-list. Oh yeah, and fucking you know. Wild Wild West haven't even happened yet, so how could you say that? How could you say that?
Matt:I love Wild.
Eric:Wild West for the fucking record.
Matt:And also, I haven't seen Independence Day in so fucking long.
Eric:Such a good movie.
Matt:Yeah, and how dare you going to insult Bill Pullman in this film, where he gives the single best monologue of that about America?
Eric:One of the most, one of the most famous speeches in movies, and when I say famous, like well-known fucking everybody knows Well-known lines at this point. Yes.
Matt:No like wow, Okay, hey, but okay. So the final score after the two rounds is five to four.
Eric:I can work with that. I'm in it.
Matt:I only need you to miss one to force a tie if I get them all right. But I know you, the two of us are about to go at it. We're gonna have it's gonna be hard round three, is it not clash of titans? Are we in agreement that we're both going for this?
Eric:as is tradition, round three we have to go hard we have to go hard.
Matt:okay, alright, have to go hard. Okay, all right, five to four is where we're at. Uh, next episode we should have a. We're planning to have a guest. So, uh, a little intermission before round three, but then we'll be back, baby. We'll be back, baby, oh.
Eric:I'm nervous. I thought I almost considered not doing it because there was a part of my brain going there's no way he doesn't get this. It's American psycho, god.
Matt:I am truly disappointed in myself, um, and I will self flagellate for the rest of the day, um, but that being said, that'll about do it for this episode of you. Didn't ask for this. Uh, we do need your questions. Please send them to us so we can read them on the show and answer them for you at youdidntaskforthisgmailcom. That's all spelled out. You can also do it on the various social medias at youdidntaskpod that's the letter. Youdidntaskpod, instagram, blue Sky, tiktok, etc. Most of our presences on Instagram. Our lives have been super hectic, so we haven't been posting as much as we usually do, but one big exception to that is the Discord. Eric, how do they get to the Discord? Tell the people.
Eric:Oh, matthew, I'm so glad you asked. Babies, my loves, my turtle doves. Here's how you get to the Discord by subscribing to the. You Didn't Ask For this Patreon. For one measly dollar a month, you get access to the Discord, where you can hang out with our kick-ass crew of homies. It's a great time.
Matt:It really is.
Eric:We chat about all manner of fun things. It's lit as hell. But, fam, let me let you in on a little secret. For $4 a month. Four and let me tell you this, matt, for less, for significantly less than the cost of a snack sized bag of caramel bugles, which are now $6.99 at my local Royal Farms. For less than that, for four dollars a month, you get access to the discord.
Eric:you get access to the monthly bonus content of all tangents and you get 20 off of all your daft merchandise in the merch store. Come on.
Matt:Come on. And, by the way, you can just buy the merch anyway. You can ask for this dot com slash shop.
Matt:But don't you want 20% off the top, don't you want 20% off? So you can get all that at patreoncom slash. You didn't ask for this and it will all be yours. By the way, $4 a month. We're talking about $48 a year. That's basically one singular tank of gas for the whole year. You can do that. That's less than a video game. Yeah, that's one meal at a mid-restaurant. Yeah, come on, come on. Don't you support us? Don't you want that middle bingo square where we get 100 subscribers to the Patreon? Yeah, don't you support us, don't you want?
Eric:that middle bingo square where we get 100 subscribers to the Patreon.
Matt:Yeah, don't you want it? No, you do. Yeah, so go become a daft punk or a daft giant today, do you? Have that dog in you? Do you have that dog in you? Then sink your fucking teeth into this deal. Yeah, we're throwing you the bone, and the bone is the Patreon.
Eric:When I throw someone a bone. I don't want to hear how it tastes.
Matt:Okay, no, we are open to feedback.
Eric:That was a quote from Snatch. It's a very good movie.
Matt:Excellent, excellent, excellent. Eric, I'm very proud of you. Anything else you want to throw in there?
Eric:Only that I love you all and also shout out to the Discord.
Matt:You guys rule, you do rule, and for all of us here at, you Didn't Ask for this. My name's Matt Shea, my name's Eric Poach and listen, you didn't ask.
Eric:But good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us. Today, we can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the 4th of July and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression or persecution, but from annihilation, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist, and, should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice we will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We're going to live, we're going to survive. Today we celebrate our Independence Day. Can I get a little less Star Spangled Banner in the monitors?
Matt:I could have lined it up better. I could have lined it up better.
Eric:I could have done better. I could have learned. I could have done better.