You Didn't Ask For This
You Didn't Ask For This
116 | A Load-Bearing Fan
At long last, the First Knight of YDAFT has arrived at court. Sir Juniper is here! She brings with her a banquet of her typically A+ questions such as: How would you design a ghillie suit that gives camouflage in an urban setting What would be your Looney Tunes-esque genus and species name? What non-animal adornments for big ostentatious hats should come into fashion?
And why do we say sleep like a baby if babies are not known for sleeping well?
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Matt, I'm going to preface this with a question. All right, do you know what an otaku is? Nope, it's a Japanese term. It just means generally means like fanboy, like, like like hardcore fan of something. Otaku is a fan Check out this otaku.
Speaker 1:In America, an otaku refers more specifically to like a big fan of, like anime and stuff like that, like someone who's, to use the pejorative, a weeaboo. So you would be an otaku. Yes, I'm a massive weeb. Um, okay, I'm just gonna like let that simmer, that's gonna come back at some point. Okay, my mother, okay, loves lucy, as in ball. As in ball. Okay, as as ball. Okay, as in Lucille Ball. American treasure, because it occurred, truly American treasure. Truly the reason we have Star Trek, I mean truly the reason we have James Bond movies, people do not realize this is bit free.
Speaker 3:People do not realize how important lucille ball is to to american entertainment television and cinema.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she, she truly yeah, uh. So my mother and I and I only bring this up as a cold open because I realized I don't think I've ever talked about this my mother is an otaku for lucy. She is a ball taku, a ball taku, she is a baltaku. Okay, let me. Let me put it in perspective. I grew up watching. I love lucy. Okay, because it was always on in our home. That's like bog standard, oh, okay. Well, you know, his mom really likes lucy. Okay, that's fine, sure, no, my mom. After I moved out of the house, my dad, when I was growing up, he had his little office den thing he had his man cave.
Speaker 1:That's his Washington commander's room that is painted burgundy and gold. Okay, so when I moved out, my room became the Lucy room.
Speaker 3:Oh, I like that Giant glass room. Yeah, the lucy room.
Speaker 1:Oh, I like that giant is in hers, room. Yeah, uh, glass cases of lucy memorabilia. She has so much shit that's been signed by lucy not to her, yeah like she did.
Speaker 1:You know there's a lucy convention. Yes, actually I did know that my mom has gone to it a lot. My mom is in the guinness book of world records because she was part of the record set for most lucys in one place. She got a lucille ball like dress, got her hair and they all stood in one place and got their picture taken together eric, are you familiar with the film and I I consider it a classic rat race, oh my god, because that's.
Speaker 3:That's a literal plot point of people on the bus trying to set the record for the lucys, my, my mom, my, that was my mom's favorite part of the movie.
Speaker 1:It was, it was so, it was so funny she, I haven't seen rat race in so long.
Speaker 3:What a good movie. It's such a good movie. It's so funny.
Speaker 1:Matt, the day that Lucille Ball died, my mom and my dad were both working for the same company. Okay, they were working in a manufacturing factory, sure. And the day that Lucy died, my mother ran crying out of the factory until she had to take the rest of the day off. When it came over the radio, they found out. And, matt, I am not mocking my mother's sadness Like my, mom feels everything.
Speaker 3:Because right now it feels like you're gonna.
Speaker 1:No, so so hard, who I'm about to put on blast as my father acceptable. When my my dad was in like a break room getting like coffee or like eating a snack or whatever at work the day Lucy died, someone walked in and was like yo, do you hear? Some fucking crazy chick heard lucy died and ran crying out of the factory and my my father, uh-huh, without without who knew this, without needing to be told that this was his wife, his immediate reaction was wow, yeah, she's crazy.
Speaker 3:Wow, yeah, just to clarify, your father doesn't listen to the show, right? No, okay on, we go then. Yeah, yeah, we're golden.
Speaker 1:No, he'd probably be laughing his ass off too. It's yeah, my mother is a baltaku, a baltaku, a baltaku.
Speaker 3:I agree. Does she have any of the chocolates from?
Speaker 1:what she does, she should. What she does have is a home video. Uh, we went to I think it was mgm studios when we went to, when I was a kid, when we were a little kid, we went to mgm studios and they had this thing. It was, it was revolutionary at the time. I'm going to remind you, this was 1997. They had this studio audience experience where you could go, you're like, hey, this is what it was like to be part of a studio audience. So we would sit, a relic from the past. They would reenact famous scenes from different shows, famous scenes from different shows, and they would. They would bring like audience members up to be like one of the characters in the scene and they would seamlessly like splice it in with the original footage it was really cool.
Speaker 1:So when they said that they needed an audience member to be ethyl in the lucene ethyl chocolate factory scene, my mother was like standing and and I mean it's probably the I mean your mother would be the authority on this, but I think it's probably the most famous.
Speaker 1:I love lucy scene I think, truly, and she and they had cue cards for it, she did not need them. She was franny may was like no, no, no, no, no, so, no, no, so good, she had it down. And the second that we realized that this was an option, like we, just we willed the energy of the crowd into a pinpoint that was my mother's hand. Yes, and they picked her and she went up and she did, and she nailed it. She did amazing, she. We were so proud of her. It was so funny. She's sitting there stuffing all the candy wrappers in her hat and all that, all that fun stuff. My father, as she's going up on stage to do this, hands me the. He's like, hands me the video recorder. I am, I am seven years old, and he says he says I'm going to watch your mom do this. He's like do not for a second take that camera off of your mother, because if you do, she will have a heart attack and she will die.
Speaker 2:Generalized anxiety. I'm home.
Speaker 3:Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, welcome to. You Didn't Ask For this. It's the podcast answering life's least pressing questions. My name is Matthew Shea, my name is Eric Poach, and joining us today we have a very special guest, one of the absolute super fans of you Didn't Ask For this, a Yadaft giant in every sense of the word. It's the one and only harmonica-w sir juniper first night of your daft first night. Oh yay, money well spent. Hello, how are you, juniper?
Speaker 4:I feel like this has been such a long time coming uh, yes, I think I've been following you, uh, in a very not creepy parasocial way for quite a long time now. Excellent.
Speaker 1:The best kind of way to be followed. What are you out the gate? What are you knitting?
Speaker 4:This is going to be a sleeveless shirt, just a little tank top, with this combination of blue, blue and white yarn, so it has this like mixed effect hell yes, excellent we love a cozy top I feel like I would actually be into knitting if I gave it a shot you have big knitting energy.
Speaker 4:Thank you, yeah, you just look like you're ready to bust them out it just seems like it's very like soothing of an activity, but maybe it's secretly stressful it's very nice for having something to do with your hands, so that you're not stuck wondering about how much eye contact you should be giving the other people around you oh, that is such a good move.
Speaker 3:That might be good for me. I do have fidgeting issues.
Speaker 1:Yes, perpetually unsure of what to do with my hands.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm every director's nightmare.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and you know you could buy all kinds of fancy uh fidget toys, but at the end of this you have something you could wear, which is a lot better than just switching bubbles back and forth and I lose all of my fidgets I have a whole literally a whole drawer of things right next to me to be able to do those things with.
Speaker 3:But but the problem is I go through like phases with it and once the fascination is over, it no longer works ever again, whereas with an article of clothing, I'm like oh, I made this. I made something, I've created something, I've forged this link by link.
Speaker 4:Yes, and you can have different projects. So you can have like socks and hats and then, if you want to go really big, like maybe a onesie with butt flap.
Speaker 3:Of course I'm going to. Thank God, I'm not putting any kind of time limit on this. I'm going to knit you a onesie. You're going to knit me a onesie. It might be when we're 85. So I sold I love it when we're still doing this show in the retirement home, matt I am so easy that you did it.
Speaker 1:You got, you nailed it I get the same amount of dopamine from someone telling me they're gonna make me a onesie as actually getting the onesie.
Speaker 3:That's great. You're the best kind of gift giver. This works. I'm just going to tell you intentions and we'll. It's perfect. So, Sir Juniper, I understand that you have some questions for us and that's based on me asking that you had questions for us before we recorded.
Speaker 4:It is true, and you forgot. I did prepare, we recorded. It is true, and you forgot them. I did prepare. Yeah, I forgot them. No, I forgot how to read. I looked at my screen and I was like, oh my God, there's so many words. I did. I spent some time brainstorming these questions, and I think the first one that I would like to ask you would be how would you design a ghillie suit that gives camouflage in an urban setting?
Speaker 3:Holy hell, I mean yes. Juniper's questions are always top notch, but to get them like right from the tap Off the dome, yeah Fresh from the source that art? Artisan questions, oh man okay, so ghillie suit uh of an urban environment I'm gonna need so many empty bags of cheetos, will you?
Speaker 1:I? I want to go for a very like pile of snack trash I think, I think that that's that's my description on grinder I'm a pile of snack trash grinder of all things.
Speaker 4:Well done, eric know your audience my concern is that you are famously tall, and so seeing a very tall, narrow stack of cheetos bags might make you stand out.
Speaker 3:That's what I was gonna say. I think you need, like cheetos, bag socks cheetos, bag socks.
Speaker 1:But this is also where the pringles cans come into play, because I'm not gonna be standing, I'm gonna be crawling and doing that thing where I have like the pringles cans like logs beneath me and I'm like putting one in front of the other, like like how they built the pyramids.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, the very common sight of a moving pile of snacks in the middle of a city street.
Speaker 1:Oh, only move when you're not looking.
Speaker 3:I will also be the loudest. See my just crinkles. My thought went to we need to have some sort of like like brick facade type print on the ghillie suit so I can just slap against a wall and and be like no one was ever here. Perhaps it depends on the city, though perhaps there are things within the city that um are good for blending in, like baltimore, for example.
Speaker 1:We could use like well, not anymore, I guess, but the city paper type, like oh, yes, you know, yes, yes, the free salt box oh, a salt box is really good so, juniper, uh, in baltimore we actually it's one of my favorite things about our city we have a culture of salt boxes. They're they're the bot for like salting sidewalks in snowy weather. They're big yellow boxes that say salt on them, but people started like graffitiing that and like arting them up like like painting them in different, different ways they're just all over.
Speaker 3:They're just like open. It's not like they're locked or anything, they're just there.
Speaker 1:No, so they've, they've become like a culture. I would assault bot like that's good where you're almost like your arms and legs pop out of it and you just like scatter around and scatter away and go back in like a hermit crab thank you for explaining the salt boxes, because we do not have those in california and I was very confused.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, well, you need snow first to necessitate the salt box.
Speaker 1:You need. You need any kind of precipitation in the atmosphere we're quite low on that.
Speaker 3:I. So I hear, um Lindsay, and I thought we were taking a trip. Well, lindsay is taking a trip to California this summer. I thought I was going with her, but I'm not. Um, so the um, well, she's going for work. I was going with her, but I'm not so the well, she's going for work. I was going to tag along, but it's not going to work out, but anyway. So it was going to be my first time in California. I was very excited, but another time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, magfest. Actually we now we have an event on the West Coast called Magwest. You wouldn't believe it, magwest, and I've not yet been able to go. But this year, I'm hoping, aren't you on the board? I am, but it's uh, it's a, it's a small amount. We're trying to keep costs down, uh, as much as possible. So you know, whenever I can, I pay for my rooms, I pay for my travel oh, that's nice of you.
Speaker 3:yeah, I was just gonna call you a passive board member, but I guess I won't call you a passive board member, but I guess I won't. I'm a working board member. Well, you're a paying board member, god damn right, all right.
Speaker 1:Ghillie suits. Ghillie suits, baltimore ghillie suits.
Speaker 4:I was thinking, you know, you thought of something specific to Baltimore. I was thinking well, what's universal in urban settings? Pigeons. Oh, that's good so I was imagining pigeon.
Speaker 1:You could be either dressing as a huge pigeon or crawling. All you got. Just have like a like a bunch of fake pigeons on your body, so it just looks like there's a mob of pigeons going after a french fry. Yeah, just scat was scratling along on the ground.
Speaker 3:Or, honestly, just a trash bag Like. I wouldn't think twice about seeing a crumbled up trash bag in the corner of a street, oh goodness, no goodness, no goodness, no. Or you could go trash can and then for the reveal that you're a person you can Oscar the grouch it and just kind of pop up man.
Speaker 1:you're a person you can oscar the grouch it and just kind of pop up man I don't think he's scuttles uh, quite that way. I'm in a very scuttly mood right now. Very, very hermit crab coated.
Speaker 3:Okay, is there anything, juniper, like per, your location, that could be like just to give another, like we gave a baltimore specific thing? Is there a california specific urban disguise?
Speaker 4:I'm a big plant person, so immediately I think of all of the plants that tend to be, um, planted like along the streets here, um, but that maybe is a little bit too obvious. Uh, we, certainly, you know, trash would not be out of place. So, like I was imagining, you know, maybe something like uh over your feet, rather than the poach said, you know, rolling on the Pringles cans, I was like styrofoam cups, maybe over your shoes.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay, I can see that that's also pretty universal actually, now that I think about it yep, yep, there's a lot of wind in my area, so anything that is is like a trash bag newspapers, things that you see blowing down the street. A lot would also make sense how, how?
Speaker 3:how's the tumbleweed situation where you are?
Speaker 4:yeah, there is a uh length of highway very close by. That's very straight and has literal tumbleweeds growing along the side and sometimes you get alarmingly big tumbleweeds going across the highway or in the parking lot blocking you in, and that could also work. You could maybe roll yourself up inside and then just roll down the street yes, like a hamster ball I when.
Speaker 3:So, a while ago, lindsay and I took this trip to vegas. Uh, because my in-laws have a timeshare there and we, so we stayed at this timeshare, which was very nice, and we drove to the Grand Canyon Um, you know, it's like I forget. A couple hours away, we went to the Hoover dam on the way over there, and there's this just the, the own, basically the only route there is this endless highway in the middle of nothing, like there's just desert all around, and it was the first time I legit saw flowing, tumbling, tumbleweed, and it was.
Speaker 4:It really made my heart happy they are much larger and more imposing when they get clumped together than I had expected based on cartoons oh yeah, yes, roadrunner led me astray yeah, I they.
Speaker 1:They led me to believe that tumbleweeds only appeared when aesthetically necessary yes, when?
Speaker 3:when the vibe dictated it yes to show dramatic tension. They would appear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go on.
Speaker 4:I was going to say it's funny you mentioned Roadrunner, because that actually does segue immediately into the next question on my list.
Speaker 3:What a good segue I was just going to say I do feel like we've provided some answers to this urban ghillie suit.
Speaker 4:I was going to say I do feel like we've provided some answers to this urban ghillie suit. I think we've got lots of options to play with next time that we are in fact doing reconnaissance in the city. And so the next question was what would be your Roadrunner and Coyote-esque genus and species name?
Speaker 1:Wow, that really did transition well, flawless oh god what. And what a deep cut. I haven't thought about the goofy genus names on looney tunes, roadrunner skits, well for literal day.
Speaker 3:I do want to. I do want to say, if eric and juniper, have you heard of this very troubled film, coyote versus acme, I think, or the people versus uh, coyote, um, it's this like, it's this movie with will forte, who plays the coyotes? Um?
Speaker 3:like while e coyote coyote's lawyer pressing charges against the Acme Corporation and it was shelved for like it's complete, it's a completed film. They made it and they like shelved it and Will Forte has been so vocal about like the studio dropped it and he was super pissed and he was like I'm really proud of this movie and I just got picked up by somebody Netflix or somebody I forget who but but it is getting a release and it's like a legal drama of the coyote suing acme and I'm so excited about it I'm, I'm fucking stoked but, um, but so so
Speaker 1:so here we are. So here we're panning across the desert. We're panning, we the desert, we're panning. We see a cliff, we see a little shrub, we see a tumbleweed. We see the same cliff, the same shrub, the same tumbleweed and then something speeds past. The camera backs it up Freeze frame. It's me running from Matt.
Speaker 3:And you are Okay.
Speaker 1:So we are antagonists in this circumstance yes I like this, yes, I like so, so, so you, it's got to be.
Speaker 3:You chase me and it's yeah, it's the classic I agree that it does have to be me chasing you.
Speaker 1:I do agree with this I am the prey in this relationship. Maybe, so, maybe, so yeah yeah, who can say um, oh god, what would my goofy ass genus name be? Yeah, fucking fucking gangliss. Erectus. Like fucking I, I, I, my friendless erectus that's what you want to go with. The word gangly should probably factor in there somewhere.
Speaker 3:You do have a gangly aspect to you. Thank you.
Speaker 1:I've cultivated it over many years. You're welcome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, some might say, you grew into it.
Speaker 1:One of my best friends in high school and and a friend of yours one one. Dallas once described me as a giraffe on roller skates, in terms of my locomotion.
Speaker 3:Big shout out to Dallas. He definitely doesn't listen to the show Big shout out to Dallas, but God, I love him, or indeed has thought about either of us since 2009.
Speaker 1:But nevertheless, shout out to dallas oh, oh, uh, uh, oh, I've got it. Gangliss, preposterous eric.
Speaker 3:Really good, because and I'm over here clueless about what I am and you came up with gangl, preposterous, which is incredible.
Speaker 1:And then I was, and then, and then following shortly behind.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we're, we're making, we're making these scientific names for us, rather than being like oh, I'm a road runner, right.
Speaker 1:That's what we're going with. Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3:Hmm.
Speaker 1:And I'm probably yelling.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:I yes, yes, hmm, and I'm probably yelling. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Well, okay, that's. It's funny that you were thinking that, because I was thinking anxious needs to be maybe in my oh yeah my and it's its own thing, like I don't even need to change, anxious it it's yeah it's perfectly, absolutely.
Speaker 1:It's anxious bub ba-bum-ptious.
Speaker 3:Anxious ba-bum-ptious.
Speaker 1:Not literally ba-bum-ptious, but it's got to be like the da-da.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh man, anxious judgmentous.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, fuck you.
Speaker 1:First of all, fuck you. That's why you're chasing me.
Speaker 3:Second, of all, that's why you're chasing me. Second of all, that's pretty good. Second of all, I don't disagree fourth of all fuck you.
Speaker 1:Just to circle back, just to bookend it nice and clean.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, okay, my anxious, judgmentous is is not inaccurate. No, I've got thoughts and I'll share them. Yeah you do, but often to my detriment but judgmentalness, judgmentalness is it's like how
Speaker 1:negative weather is not the atmosphere. Judgmental. You want me to be that guy. Your judgmentalness is the cloud in your atmosphere, but it is not the atmosphere of matthew shea anxiety certainly is eric.
Speaker 3:Let I'm gonna dial in. I was, I was cooking, I was working things, but now I want to know what you mean by that what I mean, matthew yeah me. Tell me about my atmosphere.
Speaker 1:There's weather and then there's atmosphere. There's clouds, spurting rain. But then there is the tropical like biome.
Speaker 3:He's got no idea what to say. Everybody, no, no, no, no, no. He's just buying time.
Speaker 1:So what I'm saying is that you're judgmentous. It is not that's the same thing like like it's an organ. Your judgmentous is an aspect of your atmosphere, but it does not define you it is it is, it is, it is like the it.
Speaker 1:It's a fact that lives within me yes, yes, it is a part of your biome, but it does not define you. I would say honestly, I would say the the judgment is emerges from the anxious. It emerges from you. You need to have your story straight. You need to know what's going on. Hey, I need to know what your whole deal is right now, because I need to make some game time decisions. I'm great at parties.
Speaker 3:Let me tell you I love to go up to a person and say, hey, I need to know what your whole deal is right now immediately, oh man what would be okay. Well, I'm gonna turn it, though, if I'm anxious, june, per what would be your genus and speech?
Speaker 4:yeah well, I figured, I should probably keep the homo in homo sapien nice 100.
Speaker 1:Someone has to yeah, uh.
Speaker 4:And then I'm a very physically affectionate person, so I thought homo affectionous that's perfect.
Speaker 3:That's so much nicer sounding than anxious judgmentous he said with a slightly judgmental eric stop proving your goddamn point over and over again.
Speaker 1:My thesis oh, anxious thesaurus, you are a worldly person.
Speaker 3:A worldly, not worldly.
Speaker 1:Certainly not worldly Worldly.
Speaker 3:You are worldly. I would describe you as worldly. I went to Poland on a conference once and you drank warm beer. Oh my God, it wasn't warm beer, it was hot beer, it was off a stove and it was, to date, the best beer I have ever had.
Speaker 4:I shit you not sounds about right, it was a hot ginger spiced beer I'll never forget that fucking beer.
Speaker 1:No, you americans like your beer, cold as the rockies yes, that's true.
Speaker 3:So we were. I think I said this in the pod at one point, but yeah, there was, I was there. It was a theater conference and there were some british um students there as well. It was a. It was a meeting of international drama schools and, um, the british people did say to me I know you americans like you'll be as cold as the rockies, but give it a shot.
Speaker 1:It's like that's what they think of us. God to look back on that and wistfully that that's what they thought of us. That's what they thought of us then in 2011 uh god only knows uh, what better
Speaker 4:time the case is now simpler time, a simpler time may I derail for a moment and ask where in poland this was?
Speaker 3:it was in wroclaw. Uh, as a matter of fact, it was at the grotowski Institute. At Making Tomorrow's Theater Conference, I did a showcase of a acting preparation technique called Rasa boxes, that's right. Me and Maddie Hicks, who also definitely does not listen to this show. Big shout out to Maddie Hicks. Maddie Hicks, who took some Tylenol PM on the plane and fell asleep on my shoulder Precious, it was quite precious. But I then felt a pressure to not move so Matty could remain asleep.
Speaker 1:Also, I see your derailment and I'm going to raise you.
Speaker 4:I'll raise you a switch track.
Speaker 1:I see your derailment and I'm gonna, I'm gonna raise you, I'll raise you a switch track to even further derailment.
Speaker 3:Rosa boxes, juniper okay, I thought for a second you were gonna go say you had to take a shit and I was gonna say, eric, when we have a guest, are you kidding me we have company. It's one thing when it's just me in the middle of the episode and you're like I'll be back.
Speaker 1:I'm winnie the pooing it. I'm fine, I can just we're on camera eric.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, no I've got my.
Speaker 1:These are what I call. These are my. Don't you stand up, I'm gonna do it. These are these are my. Uh, my would have been described my, my bisexual camp counselor shorts.
Speaker 3:I'm showing your inner thigh on camera. I'm sorry, no.
Speaker 1:I'm not Juniper's getting to witness how the sausage gets made in real time, how the sausage gets made, how the thigh gets flashed. But Rasa boxes was a fascinating theater technique where we would draw a grid of boxes on the floor. There were nine of them and there were eight like. Each box represented a raw, pure, like crystallized human emotion.
Speaker 3:It's one of the Rasa's from Sanskrit, as a matter of fact, from the Tabula.
Speaker 1:Rasa. Yes, very good, yes, and so there was a box, for there was one called Raudra, which was like rage, and there were like. It shocks me that I don't remember any of these.
Speaker 3:I'm the one who presented on it. I'm just so far. You're batting a thousand.
Speaker 1:Eric, continue I know, yeah, I was like and this I passing you're doing really good, it was, it was roudra, which is rage, karuna, which was like like love, like amorous. Or was karuna like love amorous?
Speaker 3:feelings or was that?
Speaker 1:yeah, that's more sringara, karuna is more sad and intimate vera, which was like her, like like heroic vibes, which was like disgust you're doing really good eric like heroic fucking vibes Pipazza which was like disgust.
Speaker 3:You're doing really good, Eric. I still pronounce it. I thought you were going to go right to the middle. I thought that's what you were building with.
Speaker 1:This is what I was going to do, the middle, which I cannot remember the name of, I can.
Speaker 3:It's called Shanta.
Speaker 1:That in my head I always called the pretentious enlightenment box. That's exactly what it is. Yes, we were taught this for an entire semester, juniper. We had to study this and learn this, and the middle was where you were. How would you describe the middle, matt?
Speaker 3:I mean truly. You said enlightenment and that's sort of what it's. So when you're doing the preparation Juniper and also all acting students listening to me, welcome to our workshop when you encompass, when you go into a box, so there's this grid. And when you go into the box you're supposed to encompass, like okayoudra, which is like rage, and you're supposed to encompass what it means to you. You know, okay. So you're angry, you're right. And then you go to karuna, and now you gotta transform, but maybe you're standing halfway between those two boxes and what does that look like?
Speaker 1:and so when you it was an advanced class on masking yes, so and then.
Speaker 3:So, when you proceed to the middle box, you, it's supposed to be almost like like enlightenment, like a nirvana situation, where you're like, aware of all the rosses at once, you, you are encompassing everything and you're basically simultaneously none of them, and simultaneously. You're basically supposed to like, you have to earn it.
Speaker 1:That was the best part of the class.
Speaker 3:Like if you feel like you can go into the middle.
Speaker 1:It's a ballsy move, you know because our teacher, our professor, would like side eye the shit out of you if you went you're like, you're like you would be looking to her for permission big shout out to michelle.
Speaker 3:She's a big fan of the show. I'm sure michelle rules truly. She went, she took me to poland. So yes, she does, she does rule, because so many people in our class were like what the fuck is this? And me and Matty Hicks were like, yeah, baby, feed me. This is awesome, this slaps. I still use Rasa boxes to this day in thinking about role. I think. What Rasa's does this character inhabit?
Speaker 1:So all that to say, to put a button on it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, had nothing to do with our guest.
Speaker 1:but yes, Matt, I have a new name for you.
Speaker 2:Anxious.
Speaker 1:Encompass.
Speaker 3:I accept. Okay, good, I accept. I do encompass anxiety, anxiety as my therapist would be happy to tell you about. She shouldn't be, because you know, doctor patient and all that shit. Yeah, I don't know if my therapist listens to the podcast, so, if so, thanks.
Speaker 1:I wonder if it would be beneficial, I do.
Speaker 3:Let me get you a playlist of episodes that I think will save some time in this session, I think to my therapist I've mentioned this podcast exactly once.
Speaker 1:Oh, really, yeah, but like mostly in it in like you're afraid to bring it up no, it should it I brought it up because he he was asking me he's like, how are you taking time to find, like, what are you doing in terms of self-care, for finding moments of joy or like being good to yourself? And I was like, yeah, I have a recorded podcast with one of my bestest friends and that brings me a lot of happiness.
Speaker 2:All right, good man, so sweet.
Speaker 3:This has nothing to do with our guests. Oh hello Juniper. How's the top going? Let's get off of the self Congratulatory track we've ended up on. Anyway, I went to Poland.
Speaker 4:Yeah, b, maybe B plus for your pronunciation there of Wrocław Better.
Speaker 1:Call the fuck out kid. Dr Lindsay bar on the line.
Speaker 3:The correction corner is being respected I, I, I do, uh. Yeah, I I own up to the fact that I've never been the best at the polish pronunciations, but yes, no, they. Have you been juniper, have I?
Speaker 4:been.
Speaker 1:Juniper, you get cooler every time you open your mouth. Well, fuck me, wow. Do you have family? Is your family Polish?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I was actually born there. I'm an immigrant to the US, but young enough that I'm actually more fluent in English than Polish. That's so cool. I was not expecting that to come up over the course of this conversation.
Speaker 1:No one does. Yes, this is why we love having guests and why we're like we're so adamant about having so many guests on this year. It's like we know so many cool people who have so much cool shit about them yes yes, oh, go ahead, eric oh no, I was just gonna say how much I love krishikis. Sorry, what those little? I the little polish crackers that are like thin and covered in powdered sugar and stuff yeah, I also like sausage.
Speaker 3:What? What are we doing, eric? I don't know. I contributed I also like vodka, although I will say the vodka I had in poland was fucking phenomenal. It was a really good time we do like our vodka we had. We had one night when we went out um to like bars and stuff, and there was, was this this blonde German student who was with us, who was really trying to pick me up and I was like I, my friend, sir, I I'm. I'm not who you're looking for, I'm afraid, but I'm flattered.
Speaker 1:Question for the Polish delegation. Um, do you know any bitch and insults in Polish?
Speaker 4:You know, unfortunately the vast majority of my uh fluency in Polish has to do with like polite family conversation, and so I'm really missing a lot of good like swears and insults and witticisms. It's um a real gap in my education there it's a thanksgiving dialect.
Speaker 3:I've never heard that term before.
Speaker 1:If that's a term, maybe no, I just made that up, eric wow, you are a poet.
Speaker 4:I've said it before, I'll say it again and seriously, I knew exactly what you meant immediately uh, so juniper, more question these are bangers these are bangers, more question yes, my night, uh, okay, uh, there was a fad in the late 1800s for ladies to wear these big hats with dead birds on them.
Speaker 1:Literal, literal dead birds, so I'm wondering literal dead birds yes, metal, that was the fashion.
Speaker 4:Uh yep. What type of non-animal adornment for big, ostentatious hats should come back into, or into fashion in the near?
Speaker 3:future, okay. Non-animal adornments.
Speaker 4:For big ostentatious hats.
Speaker 1:Yes, I can see it perfectly in my mind. I am a huge fan and I think this was actually a fashion at the point, or it might have just been in some fantasy YA novel I was reading. You can say bottle ships of like galleons and such, just like, like, like, just having a gigantic fucking sailing ship perched on my, on my, and I have like a whole like figurehead. It's a, it's a statement.
Speaker 3:Yeah, wow, that sounds beautiful, right. For some reason, my first inclination was to go with stuffed animals, and I don't mean like oh, full fur or like taxidermy.
Speaker 3:I mean like true like a stuffed animal as high fashion, a stuffy as high fashion, a squish mallow. I was recently on the phone with my nephew and he is going through a little bit of a turtle face and I said, hey, guess what? I have a turtle, a real turtle, who's 30 years old, in this house and I showed him Jaws and his initial reaction was to say he needs a blankie and a stuffy. And it was very precious.
Speaker 1:Could you imagine? I know it's not practical. Jaw is having a little, a little stuffed, a little stuffed turd or a little stuffed animal. That's a little mad, just a little.
Speaker 3:It's a silly little guy, that's a silly little guy this is a silly little guy, maybe so, maybe so, oh, uh, so that that that's the first thing that jumps to my mind. But something that's coming right on its heels is like what, if you included, I'm going to call it shoulder busts of Beethoven, you know, like that kind of bust.
Speaker 1:Like pauldrons of heads.
Speaker 3:Yes, exactly Like a statue on each shoulder, like I've got Edgar Allan Poe over here and Machiavelli on this side. I don't know how I got that.
Speaker 1:So they know you mean fucking business.
Speaker 3:So they know I know business. By the way, I do have this pencil holder on my desk at all times, which is Caesar. Oh and he's being stabbed by the pencils. He's got a bunch of a friend of mine 3D printed this for me and it's a precious gift.
Speaker 1:Let's see what do I have to contribute.
Speaker 3:You don't have to just pull something up off the-. Oh, I do. I have this unicorn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's very-.
Speaker 3:Most of this stuff is I do I have this unicorn.
Speaker 1:I do have this very upsetting bird mug. Oh no yeah.
Speaker 4:It's disapproving of whatever it's looking at.
Speaker 3:I was going to say it is a judgmental bird.
Speaker 4:I'm going to have to pull a screenshot screenshot.
Speaker 3:You feel a connection to it, matt. I do as anxious judgmentous, I'm gonna pull a screenshot of that.
Speaker 1:Uh, bird for the instagram, for sure that's like one of the benefits of eight, of like the blindness of adhd, where everything just becomes visual background, noise is, I forget, and then I start looking with my special eyes and then I see like, oh, look at all this fun stuff yes, now, matt, I have a follow-up question for your suggestion.
Speaker 4:Would there be a third bust on top of the head?
Speaker 3:now that you mention it, I feel as though there must be yes, um, and that I'm imagining a garb that is has interchangeable um. You can swap them out like charm bracelet for, you know, formal events versus going to the pub. Sorry, charm appellates charm. Yes, yeah, so yeah, and maybe it. Maybe you only have the third one on top of your head for, like, when you're going to a fancy event like a, a gala oh, that, that's when you know it's serious time that's when you know it's here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean we're when we're recording this. The met gala was last night, so perhaps you end up at the met gala. You have the third above your head, but otherwise machiavelli's my daily driver.
Speaker 1:But plato, he's, my he's my statement piece yes uh, something I would love to see come back into fashion. Um, you know the depictions of athena where she's wearing the helmet, but it's pushed up and like, like, like in every statue, like that's why, like I was like we should just start wearing war helms again, but like pushed up, well, we might have to the way the world is going might be useful.
Speaker 3:Shrink what would? Okay? A spin-off question what would be your war helm, eric?
Speaker 1:and you be thinking about it, juniper, it's coming your way okay, so when we do, eventually I have an answer when we are, when we are, when we are, when we are not in our ghillie suits yes and when we're wearing our our dress, armor when the time has come to reveal ourselves to the enemy.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I am such a sucker and this is going to sound like the most otaku weeb shit. I love a samurai kabuto style helm. It's classic, it's scary shit. Then I can wear a cool scary ass mask, terrify my enemies.
Speaker 3:I'm down with that. I could. I could get into like a turtle a theme like testudo like a testudo type theme where, like, maybe the actual mask is like the beak of the turtle you like bring it down, but otherwise is is locked in.
Speaker 1:Like the jaws you would open up and that like that's, like that's the visor. Yeah, Snapping jaws, That'd be pretty cool.
Speaker 3:That's bad. And it has to be a snapping turtle, of course, because they, they. You should not mess around with snapping turtles. Yeah, no, should not mess around with snapping turtles. Yeah, no, no, no. When jaw if jaws ever gets his jaws on me, it's sort of like was it worth it? Okay, that was a minor inconvenience for me, but you did it, but a snapping turtle will take off your digits here's what we do.
Speaker 1:So we, we reclaim it, we, we, we rebrand it yellow flag fuck, get the snake, the fuck off of their snapping turtle. And it just says don't fucking touch me.
Speaker 3:Mouth agape Like yeah, I'm imagining like actively hissing at you on the flag. Yes, exactly Juniper.
Speaker 4:I have two answers. One is you know those kind of T-rex costumes that are all puffy with the inflatable ones. Yeah, yes, yeah. So just the head of the t-rex. You know the rest. You want to be comfortable. It's hard to do stuff with those tiny arms, but just the head, and so things will bounce off delightful very, very stimulating, just like waggle back and forth with it, do some bits Love that, do some bits.
Speaker 4:Yes, and the other idea I had because actually my answer for the big ostentatious hat was Legos, and I'm thinking, oh, we could combine, you could have a hat with Legos on it, but then you just snap it off and then there's some sort of helm underneath Okay, for protection.
Speaker 1:Okay, Hell yeah. I would wear the fuck out of a helm made of Legos too. Just throwing that out there.
Speaker 3:And I would honestly a wearable Lego helm that I could buy for an exceptional amount of money and then build and wear that top of the Christmas list. Every dream come true, truly, yeah, and God help you if you step on it, oh my.
Speaker 1:God, oh yeah, don't step on me, all right new pitch literally it's yellow flag want to tread on me.
Speaker 3:This is a public service announcement pile of legos that'll be.
Speaker 1:That'll be like my, my, my gorilla weapon of choice during the war. It'll just be all the sack of of lego and d4s that I just scatter behind me when I'm fleeing.
Speaker 3:I for one never knew that shitty flag referred to stepping on legos. This is the first time we're all learning.
Speaker 1:It is now look, if they can rewrite history, we can make it cooler there you go.
Speaker 3:Juniper, did we answer that question? Great, let's keep going, let's just keep going with it, then Knocked it out of the park.
Speaker 4:I'm sorry You're asking me to remember the past five minutes.
Speaker 3:No, it's a fever dream.
Speaker 4:I would never ask that of you, or us.
Speaker 3:What we could do is just move on to another question.
Speaker 4:Yeah, fantastic. Why do we say slept like a baby if babies are known for waking up frequently and screaming?
Speaker 1:say slept like a baby if babies are known for waking up frequently and screaming. In my case it is an accurate descriptor because I do often meaning what that you wake up often oh no, I wake up. I. Alissa has a running document of all of the full conversations and and like. I will wake up and and and like, yell stuff and like, and then just pass back out. Uh, my favorite quote, apparently. I woke, I, I, I, I woke up in the middle of the night and said these fingers are a handful.
Speaker 3:Wow, snaps, I am so much.
Speaker 1:I am so much wittier in my sleep.
Speaker 3:There's a lot of stuff where I'm like, god damn it, why does this never come to me in the waking world? A philosopher king? Because the brain you need you, your brain needs to get out of its own way. It needs to be unconscious to cook.
Speaker 1:Yes once you peel back all the facade of dealing with reality.
Speaker 3:Yes, it's a trip, it's the free association, separate from any outside stimulus yes, for a very long time lindsey would notoriously talk in her sleep and I had a little blog going of shit, my sleeping girlfriend says at the time, but she's she's so anxious and filled with dread now that she no longer talks in her sleep. I don't have the content for it, frankly.
Speaker 1:I'm imagining you watching your wife sleeping and you're sitting there pondering. You're like why, my dear, do you no longer talk in your sleep? And then she responds in her sleep.
Speaker 3:She whispers, because then they will hear me, there's never been a way to predict it, like there's never. You never know when it's going to happen. But like you know, you know when it's happening Because she'll be like she'll be like, oh, but the fish sticks are free. And like it'll be like say more.
Speaker 1:Say more, but yeah, it is a good question. Yeah, babies are notorious for waking up, making lots of baby noise in the middle of the night. Not very good at sleeping, yeah not sleeping like a log.
Speaker 3:That's the Sleeping like a log is pretty apt. That's pretty accurate. When you say I slept like a log but like sleeping like a baby, I'd say more prevalent but much more inaccurate into what you're trying to describe.
Speaker 1:I propose sleeping like a toddler who got to stay up late. Like when they're just, at that point, just a sack of potatoes, yes, like where you're literally carrying them, like, just holding them aloft. They're just like you're literally carrying them like, like, like, just holding them aloft.
Speaker 3:They're just like a pile of noodles sleeping like a toddler on Halloween night after the sugar rush is done.
Speaker 1:Once the crash happens, you're sleeping like a toddler who thought they could hang. Like I could stay up late. Yeah sure I can do it, I'll make it to the ball. They're like I could stay up late. Yeah sure I could do it. I'll make it to the ball drop. No, you won't Sure Go for it. Kid. My friend Sebastian was here yesterday hanging out and Sebastian is one of the most precious, precious boys on earth. Precious, precious boys on earth, he is he, he. When it gets too late and he's had num nums and he's had food, he will just start like it, like while sitting up straight, just start, just start. Like you could see the sleep, the eepies and the sleepies creeping over him. And I've realized something I was like sebastian, you're the little mouse from alice in wonderland, the like the movie, like the, the little like twinkle, twinkle little and like they have to rub, like when he starts free, he's like they have to rub jam on his nose to make him all sleepy again.
Speaker 1:Every time I see him start getting sleepy I'm like oh, oh hold on, hey, now hey, now get the jam, this little mouse, sleepy.
Speaker 3:So sleeping like a mouse with jam all over his nose, that's a good one like, uh, I mean hibernation seems pretty like apt, right, like I mean that's a natural, not a sleep, though like I feel like that's the big misconception with vibration is that people, that people that bears and and and turtles and other species that hibernate are just asleep. But they're not. They're not asleep, they're just removed from society they're just sort of what it is.
Speaker 1:They're dissociating for a couple of months exactly. They're dissociated and they mostly sleep, but they wake up to do stuff in their in their burrows also, juniper as I watch you crafting this, this very cool top, it makes me realize how badly I want, I, I need, I need like a knitted crop top in my life. It's summer, it's crop top season.
Speaker 4:Yeah there are lots of patterns for that online. Oh yeah, find that see my guy.
Speaker 1:Matt, I think this is the year we knit this could be the year we get into knitting.
Speaker 3:That wasn't on the bingo card, but it could. It could yet, it could yet happen. It could, yet it could be a late entry.
Speaker 1:Juniper. These are. These are just some icebreakers. We're at. We're at a show. There is a mosh pit. What kind of show Uh, uh, we'll, we'll, we'll say, we'll say, we'll say good old fashioned punk show. There was a folk punk opener.
Speaker 3:It was a soft you at, while the mosh pit is happening um in the corner with earplugs in and a blanket. Nice with hell he is is chilling with the merch table, chilling with the merch. Hell, yeah, me waiting for my check to join the mosh pit. That's the uh. That's where juniper is gonna be. It sounds like I, uh, uh.
Speaker 1:I recently worked my my friends, my friend hosts runs a, a metal festival in baltimore called a grim reefer festival. You'll never guess what date. It happens on september 26th. So on um and and I got to it was my first time I was working the merch table for it he was like hey, could you help me? Where was? Yeah, and I realized is usually metal shows like I'm up front or I'm in the pit or working working the merch table. It's like the best fucking seat in the house because the way the venue set up I get a full seat of the show, I get a chair and I just get to help people buy things. I feel very useful doing that. Juniper, what, what music do you fucks with? What, what, what, what you'res with what, what, what, what's your, what's your and and and with the general understanding that, like all music, fucking rules. But like, what are you listening to now? Sea shanties, yes, nice.
Speaker 4:Do you have any?
Speaker 1:you said folk music folk music.
Speaker 4:Yeah, also piano, and yeah, marina McKenna.
Speaker 1:Nice Love, nice love and yeah, uh, for sea shanties. You got any like fit. Like, what are? What are your go-tos for? Like, if, if, if we're, if we're on a galleon in the tossing scene, we've got a haul on that rope. What are you busting out if you're leading the?
Speaker 2:crew let's say old maui god, it's a damn tough life, full of toil and strife. We well amen, undergo Eric, a man of the sea and foam, and we won't give a damn when the gale is done. How hard the winds did blow, eric, how do you know this? Six hellish months have passed away On the cold Kinshatka Sea and we won't give a damn when we drink our rum with the girls of Old Maui. Wow, rolling down to Old Maui, me boys rolling down to Old Maui.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh man, that shanty goes so fucking hard. I had a whole shanty phase, matt, and I still do shanty phase, matt and I still do.
Speaker 3:Covid affected all of us. Yeah, very good.
Speaker 1:That was magical. It's my favorite thing to listen to when it's raining. I'm driving and it's raining like hell. I'm like it's shanty time. But, have you ever operated a vessel? No, I have shanty while canoeing. I have shanty while canoeing. It just doesn't have the same.
Speaker 3:Got to Paddling your own kayak down the mild stream.
Speaker 1:Singing the sea shanty, have done that and have watched my friend Patrick McMin, who is a gold is a gold record standing up in his canoe playing a trumpet that he brought on the river, playing the.
Speaker 3:Jurassic Park.
Speaker 1:It was the most magical thing I've ever experienced.
Speaker 1:You've mentioned this on the show before, but every time time I hear it it does provoke an image that is majestic. I am not a musician but so many of my friends are in bands and they're so fucking talented so I just get treated to all these musical bits all the time they turn they. They turned a watermelon into, into a trumpet they had like it was there they brought. So it turns out you really just need the mouthpiece of a trumpet and you shove it in a bunch of different objects.
Speaker 1:You could turn them into trumpets well, yeah, maybe not in tune necessarily, but yes once saw a friend of mine turn a pool noodle into a didgeridoo and it was terrifying how well it worked. Okay, now Go on. You have questions? A full pool noodle.
Speaker 3:Because, didgeridoos are kind of small right, no, didgeridoos the ostrich yeah, I thought they were small.
Speaker 1:Oh no, bro, they're huge. They're like six feet long. Wow, yeah, don't you didgeridoo? Don't Now, bro, they're huge. They're like six feet long. Wow, yeah, don't you didgeridoo. No, eric, now don't mind if I didgeridoo, very good, it's. My favorite thing on Earth is losing that and reeling them right back in.
Speaker 3:Very good, very good, I'm back on board.
Speaker 4:With the pool noodle? Did they also cut holes in for their fingers to make different notes?
Speaker 1:they, they cut the mouth so that it was like appropriately shaped, and they put and they just start. And my other friend who is in like three bands, who was drunk out of his mind, walks up. He's like what are you doing? My friend's just like making didgeridoo at a pool noodle. And and my friend, the, the one in all the band just had the most incredulous doubt, like press x to doubt. Look on his face I've ever seen.
Speaker 1:He's like he's like and then my boy just starts a fucking ripping on that didgeridoo, that didgeridoodle, that didgeridoodle and didgeridoodle, eric didgeridoodle and I just what. And my still very drunk friends friend just leans down. Dead serious, you see this. This is me eating my words. Just walks away. It was, it was.
Speaker 3:It was such a surreal experience eric's band of followers that he brings around places is followers is such a good word.
Speaker 1:My band of wandering idiots. Sorry, sorry, apostles, beautiful, beautiful idiots. Eric's beautiful idiots are quite, quite the menagerie I'm very fortunate to know the coolest people on earth. Present company included nice eric.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, yes, yes well, juniper, we so okay. So here's the situation. Unfortunately, we're getting towards the end of our time here. Um which? Is a massive bummer, because this has been a sheer, just been nothing but but delight. But is there any other like final questions you would like to talk to us about? It doesn't have to be the ridiculous bullshit, because, for one thing, what this is true I'm actually, and this doesn't even necessarily need to be included in the show. How did you?
Speaker 1:find us?
Speaker 4:I've always wondered well, now you're asking me to remember much way more, way back than five minutes.
Speaker 3:The deep lore the deep, yes, the the secrets, is it? What did we just like pop up on, like a recommendation on the app or on an app or something? And also, how do, how have you been dealing with us, not at two times speed?
Speaker 4:uh, it's, it's hard um. I I feel like I'm walking through molasses is it better or worse?
Speaker 1:we're in the we're in the zone of truth it's.
Speaker 3:This is a safe space.
Speaker 1:We're, we're, we can take it it's just different yeah, it's different, it's different, it's different yeah exactly? Are we higher pitched when we're at two-time speed, or does it maintain the same?
Speaker 4:I listen via Overcast and they do a really good job maintaining the pitch, so it sounds the same, except just faster.
Speaker 3:Like you're doing a patter. I have to try this. I never go up to two times when I go to, when I'm behind on podcasts, because I have a lot of podcasts that I listen to and so when I get like by Friday, if I haven't been listening to my daily releases, I'm like very backlogged and I'll go up to 1.5.
Speaker 4:That's as fast as I go.
Speaker 1:Feeling brave, I never go to to 1.5.
Speaker 3:That's as fast as I go, feeling brave. I never go to two because it spikes me. My anxiety is like, oh, this is too much.
Speaker 1:I'll listen to. I'll speed up podcasts when I listen to. I listen to a number of like Buddhist podcasts and like they're very cool, like there are a lot of like really cool teachings about life and all that stuff, but the thing with buddha.
Speaker 3:You speed that up. That feels like it's not the vibe. They will know well.
Speaker 2:The problem is they speak very slowly, oh yeah, and with, yeah, great intention yes, and and, which I appreciate.
Speaker 1:But also I gotta be to work in 20 minutes. I gotta get as much enlightenment in this commute as possible I gotta squeeze the enlightenment got into yeah you can famously speed enlightenment along.
Speaker 4:Yes, yeah, yeah, that's how you get to that center square you know I started it with npr podcasts, where it's the same thing oh yeah, here is the news from yesterday. I'm like, oh man, come on guys pick it up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, are you a listener of the daily? Lindsey listens to the daily.
Speaker 4:Well, daily I am not. I have to really limit my news intake to uh a few shows that really squeeze a lot in of the most important headlines, sure, because then after that, uh, you know yeah, lest the doom scrolling begin yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm with you, the I I.
Speaker 3:It happened right before you joined. I got a new york times news alert on my watch here and I was just like I can't. I can't process it right now. I like I don't got it in me away.
Speaker 4:A news alert, like you willingly are having them shoot the news at you randomly during the day.
Speaker 3:Lindsay. God bless her. She often tells me I get too many notifications and it's probably true. It very much probably affects my mental health. But also I need to know, I need, I need everything to be supervised and so we see anxious encompass, anxious encompass at work.
Speaker 1:Yes, true, I just now. I need, I need, uh, sir david attenborough to narrate your life.
Speaker 3:I don't know about that, but let's reel it back in for a second. Yes, I want to say before, like before juniper, before we did the uh discord, before we launched the patreon and all that, like you were, uh, a constant in sending us emails with all these great questions and things and I thought, oh well, obviously Juniper must be from some some other podcasts, like there's some other thing, and I went looking for it and I couldn't find it. And then I was like I think she's just a person who likes us and that blew our fucking minds.
Speaker 3:It still does and it I don't know. It really means a lot. And then, when you've been such a big facilitator, I want to say in the discord that if you hadn't already earned the title of first night of your daft, you certainly have now.
Speaker 1:God damn. This is when we like as your liege, lordsords, we just give you like a fucking horse here, have a horse on the house, have a horse, have a horse, have a keep.
Speaker 3:Juniper, what's the name of your?
Speaker 1:horse. Yeah, what is the name of your valiant steed?
Speaker 3:thanks, yeah, it can't be rushed. Horse names can't be rushed. It's an order.
Speaker 2:Nay, uh yeah, let's all sit, let's all acknowledge.
Speaker 3:Very good just very good, we'll just put that right up on the fridge.
Speaker 4:Well done, eric I I love those um long fancy horse names.
Speaker 3:You know we were watching kentucky derby fucking sovereignty, the only one I didn't bet on, basically yeah, it would have to be.
Speaker 4:You know, flaming wildfire over the rolling hills yes, yes yes, I do like a horse name.
Speaker 3:That's a complete thought as well. Yeah, a run-on horse or like bird in hand.
Speaker 1:Bird in Hand is such a great name for horses, great name for towns in Pennsylvania, truly.
Speaker 3:If you've never been Bird in Hand Pennsylvania, it's a lovely little town.
Speaker 1:I've been over to Two in the Bush, but not Bird in Hand. There's no Two in the Bush you son of a bitch.
Speaker 3:But there could be. I need it.
Speaker 1:It's implied by Bird in Hand, bird, hyphen in hyphen hand, pennsylvania, real place that exists it's no, yo come town, but I'll take it there, judiper, there's a town in pennsylvania it's called yo come town, it's yo come eric it's a amish name, okay.
Speaker 3:Whenever I always know when eric's in pennsylvania by the way, juniper, because he just sends me text that's like oh, I'm in hot takes about pennsylvania, oh I'm in mechanicsburg, and I'm like like I give a fuck about mechanicsburg, but okay, fine but if I tell him they're talking shit over in york, he loses his mind. Well, fucking fuck york first, first all York, those racist assholes. I'm not even saying anything out of school. The KKK marches in York. You're going to come for me, york, you're going to come for a black.
Speaker 3:Dixter, I don't think so. Press X to yikes. I have friends from York, but you know what the friends? Friends are separate than the town. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Have you checked the friends closets for any white sheedy clothing White sheet-like clothing no no, hey what you got in here.
Speaker 3:Oh man, it's about to be episode two or three of Watchmen. Whenever that reveal happened, I can't remember.
Speaker 1:Oh, like the HBO series.
Speaker 3:Watchmen. Yeah, that show ruled God. It was so good.
Speaker 1:That is so good, and I didn't even give a fuck about the Watchmen part. No, no no, it was just a really good show about racism in America.
Speaker 3:It's just really good. Well, juniper, I think we might be at the end of our exploring today, but it has been an absolute delight to have you on the show.
Speaker 3:Yes thank you for agreeing to do it because, oh my god, yeah, I messaged you somewhat out of the blue to say we wanted you as a guest, but you know, I think one. We're trying to have more guests this year in general, but also, like you, have been one of the people who have truly been lifting up this show, I feel like from a load bearing fan from a community.
Speaker 3:Might be the name of the episode, so, but the. But no, seriously, the like the, the input you have on the, the discord and everything, it just makes my heart so happy that you, yes, you, you care so much about our bullshit yeah, thank you for being such a light.
Speaker 1:Thank you for being such a thank you for being one of the reasons we keep on doing this truly, I mean honestly, very truly my lords, I am at your service oh, hell yeah that's my night, that's my night. I would be shit if I was like, if I was a, I would be shameless, like when they're parade, when you're like parading through on your horse and and like they're announcing, I'm like that's my night, that's my fucking night. I'm like punching other kings in their helmet like that's my night.
Speaker 3:I'll be the hype jester in the back for sure, very out of out of time and space, being like, yeah, that's my night, that's my night, uh, the bits aside, um, thank you so much for coming on the show and and, just like sticking around I'm I'm just glad we haven't alienated you at this point it's great.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like our barometer for like are we? Are we still good?
Speaker 3:yeah, if juniper leaves, we're gonna be like all right let's hang our wagon dope.
Speaker 1:You're like our waffle house index. Well done, eric well done, thank you nice pull yeah, that would be the name of my horse waffle waffle house index is actually an incredible horse name, eric.
Speaker 3:I know you just pulled that straight out of thin air, but that was really good.
Speaker 1:Waffle House Index is very, very good. Waffle House Index staying the course.
Speaker 3:I can see Richter scale as a horse name as well.
Speaker 2:Oh God.
Speaker 1:We're going to have such baller horses in the post-apocalypse.
Speaker 3:All right. Well, unfortunately we have to call some things to an end, so I'll just give a very abridged version of the business. But please, much like Juniper is so adept at doing, give us your questions at youdidntaskforthis, at gmailcom, or at the various social medias, mainly Instagram, though at youdontaskpod. That's the letter, youdontaskpod, and the thought line, of course, 410-929-5329. Leave us a voicemail, say some bullshit, it's fine, it's fine. And if you want to be as cool as Juniper and talk to Juniper, you can join the patreon.
Speaker 1:Eric, give them patreon business you can join our patreon by going to patreon finding you didn't ask for this patreoncom slash.
Speaker 3:you didn't ask for this that one.
Speaker 1:For one measly fucking dollara month, you get access to the discord you get access to juniper you get access to juniper and juniper, like juniper, is peak peak content worth a worth twelve dollars a year.
Speaker 3:I'd say juniper's takes yes, minimum, minimum.
Speaker 1:So for one, for one dollar, you get access to this rapier wit, and for $4 a month you get access to the Discord Monthly bonus content in the form of Oops, all tangents. And you get 20% off of all your daft merchandise in the merch store.
Speaker 3:Well done Eric, Well done Juniper, and I don't mind saying well done me, and that'll about do it for this episode If you didn't ask for this For everybody here at this here little production. My name is Manche.
Speaker 1:My name's Eric Poach.
Speaker 4:And my name is Juniper. No, last name, hooray.
Speaker 1:Hooray.
Speaker 2:Is that a Polish last?
Speaker 1:name it is.
Speaker 4:That'd be no last nameska.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Nameski, yes, I was going to say not enough Ks and Zs, but we've nailed it.
Speaker 3:And listen. You didn't ask but, juniper damn glad to know her oh my goodness, are you satisfied with that sign off jun Juniper.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, fuck you, fuck you.
Speaker 2:Fade out. On this, I stand corrected.
Speaker 3:I will see myself out.
Speaker 1:Goodbye, goddamn. Right.
Speaker 2:That's my night, thank you,