
You Didn't Ask For This
You Didn't Ask For This
110 | The Kaczynski Method
This episode we're joined by a true YDAFT Giant, submitter of bundles of questions, and expert in all things odd: it's Tim from Against All Oddities! And he came prepared. Not only does he rattle off a packet of prepared questions, he also sent both Matt and Eric a secret question to prepare in advance without the other's knowledge. He's setting a new bar for guest preparation and you're the beneficiary!
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Eric, do you by any chance go out and about in the Facebook marketplace?
Eric:Every now and then, when something catches my fancy.
Matt:Yeah, you like pull up the tab from marketplace and just sort of give it a scroll.
Eric:Just give it up. See what window shop and never hurt nobody, Exactly.
Matt:I never did anything with it until last year becoming a homeowner, and then it became. I started cruising for stuff just to see what was out there. But every now and then, when we need something or we're in the market for something, I'll hit up Facebook marketplace just to see what's out there. And recently we were looking to. As you know, we've had this front room. That's sort of been the last room in the house that we have, Like we've there's a big bookcase in it, but we haven't done anything with it. It's this weird empty space.
Eric:I do love that bookcase it gives very cozy vibes.
Matt:Oh yeah so. So we've been in the market to get some chairs for that room to sort of like develop it, because we've finished the other stuff. So the last couple couple weeks we've been going real hard of like trying to find stuff, get, get some chairs, and we were looking for a good reading chair to put in there and my mind went to the eames lounger. Are you familiar with what the eames lounger is? Eames lounger Can't say that I am. If you Google it, you'll know it right away.
Eric:Is it E A M E S? It sure is. Eames lounger Nailed it.
Matt:The. It's a. It is one of the most famous uh designs of a chair out there from the. Oh it is that chair, that chair.
Eric:It is the definition of like mid-century modern.
Matt:Yes, and for I look at that chair and I just think mad men, mad men very much. It is also prominently featured as something that's about to come up in this episode of spoiler alert. We did this after the fact, um, and has come up many times on this podcast before. It is in frazier's apartment, behind in front by the piano it is. It is back there. He mentions it from time to time.
Matt:So I was like what about an eames chair? But I've never actually sat in one. Like I know they're every. They've stood the test of time. Obviously people still are buying them 50, 60 years after they first came out. So like they're still out there. So the actual thing is like eight grand. Like the real Eames chair from Herman Miller is like 83,000, 8,300.
Matt:So I was like cool, we're not getting a real Eames chair, but there's plenty of fake ones out there, there's plenty of dupes. So I was like like we can get a dupe, but you know they're hard to come by, you gotta order them. And I'm like, well, I've never actually sat in one. So like I like I don't really want to go in on something like a chair and then it turns out it sucks ass that I intend to sit in for prolonged periods of time if I don't know what it's like. But then, eric, I was looking for chairs on Facebook Marketplace just to see what was out there and I come across, just happenstance, that nearby somebody is selling a dupe Eames chair for $700. Okay and I was like, okay, well, if it's quality then that could be a steal, considering the real thing is like $8,300. So I was like cool, so I messaged the guy casually like hey.
Matt:Don't want to scare him off. I was like, hey, I live nearby, I'm interested in the chair. Do you still have it? You know the usual stuff that if you've never actually started one of these conversations, the usual question of is this still available?
Eric:Yeah.
Matt:And he said it's still available. I've got one that's put together. I've got one in the box. When can you be here? And I was like, uh, well, I, I guess I could be there in like 20 minutes, if it's, if somebody, if you've got another bidder, you know like, yeah, like I. But I was like I want to, I want to test, I want to sit in it first. Um, you know, I'm not just showing up in handy. And he was like yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. So I was like what, what's the name of your shop or whatever? And instead he just gives me this address. So I pop this address into google maps and it's like and there's a couple of places like this where I live. There's, um, it's like a loading dock of, uh, it's like in a business park. It's in a business park, but it's like operating out of a loading dock, like out of like a that's that's murder that's murder.
Eric:You're gonna get murdered so I deserve it if you show up, if someone's like come meet me at this loading dock and you're like, okay, okay, it'd be crazy.
Matt:Right, did you do it? It'd be crazy to take my wife with me.
Eric:Well, what if it's not safe?
Matt:I got to have someone with me. So Lindsay and I go to this fucking loading dock in the rain to meet a man named Zane. Oh, hell yeah.
Eric:Hell yeah. So, Matt, you have to tell me are you a ghost right now? Because there's no way you didn't get murdered.
Matt:So we go in and Zane if you're listening, if you're a fan, zane's a very nice guy, he was really cool. But we walk in and from everything, he described his business as a showroom and so I was like, oh, okay, it's just a store that like there's others. What I'm saying is it's not uncommon. There's business parks here that have like storefronts operating out of the loading dock, like yeah. So I was like, okay, it's just one of these weird stores that's just like in a loading dock. So we walk in and it is eric, it just looks like a fucking garage like a loading does.
Eric:Yeah, and you're gonna get murdered there because I did.
Matt:And there was an office and he was like cool, the chairs are set up in this office. And I was like, cool, this is where he closes the door and gasses us. Oh my God, but we go in we sit in the chair.
Matt:He did the HH Holmes treatment and he has two of them set up, so Lindsay and I are able to sit at the same time and I can tell right away from Lindsay's face that, like for $700, it's not going to, she's not in love with it, and I feel the same way. Okay, it's not gonna. She's not in love with it and I feel the same way. You know, I've sort of iconized this chair, but I'm like you know it's not doing it.
Matt:Well, it's not like my full back, like it doesn't have like neck support and with my back and everything I know when reading, I'm gonna end up curling closer and closer to the book and I'm gonna fuck my back up Like I just know it. So I was like you know what? It's a perfect excuse. I hate bringing my bet, my herniated disc up for like shit, like, but you're gonna do it anyway. But I was like this time this is a great out if he, if he presses me, play the card. But, eric, as we're trying, as we're debating it and like we decide basically right away, but I want to give it a few minutes because it's pretty clear, yeah waste more of his time.
Matt:It's pretty clear he waited for us before going home. Oh no, and that's why he was like when can you be here next to where he's got the chairs? He's just got boxes and boxes and boxes of Pokemon cards.
Tim:And.
Matt:I'm just like looking around and there's just all this random shit. And when we get out to the loading dock, cause I'm like, hey, we're, I think we're going to pass, and he was like, yeah, no problem, can I ask why? And I'm like, hey, I think we're going to pass, and he was like, yeah, no problem, can I ask why? And I was like, well, I got a lot of back issues and it's not full back. And he was like, I totally get it, no worries, man Cool. So Zane, real cool guy, didn't kill us. But I'm looking around and I was just like Lindsay and I immediately got in the car and we're like, okay, what the hell did we just do? Like that was stupid. We, we certainly could have died and yeah, and second of all, I'm talking to your ghost.
Matt:And second of all, what was he up to? And Lindsay's theory is he's one of these like eBay resale guys who, like, shows up at stores or whatever, buys out the pokemon cards at 8 am when they open and then is just selling them online, does the same thing with chairs, does the same things with this and so like, because we got in the thing and we got in the car and started driving away and I was like it is a good deal, but at the same time I'm not convinced those chairs didn't fall off the back of a truck.
Matt:You know what I'm saying yeah, yeah damn so I live to tell the tale, but uh, yeah, so I. I don't know what the moral of this story is, other than I went you?
Eric:you flaunted all conventional wisdom in regards to meeting with a stranger all in a place and you learned nothing.
Matt:I had an opportunity to grab a fake version of Frasier's chair, which is probably, in all likelihood, a fake version itself because it's a television set. Yep, and I said, stranger, in a loading dock, I'm listening. Damn, what a button, what a button, what a button. Well, hello everybody, and welcome to you. Didn't Ask For this, the podcast answering life's least pressing questions. My name is Matthew Shea, my name is Eric Poach. We have a very special guest, a great friend of the pod, submitter of many, many, many questions, facilitator of the discord and indeed, a you daft giant.
Eric:It's tim from against all oddities tim tim, tim tim, tim, tim, eric you're gonna god God damn it, eric, sorry.
Tim:I'm sorry. I'm legitimately really excited to talk to you guys, dude, we're so stoked to have you.
Matt:We've been trying to get you for a long time. Finally, the stars already finally aligned. And here we are. How are you, Tim?
Tim:I'm really tired all the time For like an, you can fit right in. I was like the ability to just lay down and nap has it was never a superpower until the past couple years. But you know, I'm trying to see the the silver lining of that. Yeah, just sleep, just. It doesn't matter where. I'll just lay down in the middle of a floor, in the kitchen, any, any port in the storm, any port in the storm, any port in the storm. But I'm good, I'm well. I guess this is the more canned answer. I'm doing good.
Eric:Yes, how are you?
Tim:That's my first question, oh very first question.
Matt:Okay, basically trying to stay afloat in this deluge of terrible news yes, poach, how are you?
Eric:Yeah, news. Yes, poach, how are you? Uh, yeah, it, it. It feels like I'm in the wave pool at six flags and someone got a little too like their. Their, their swimming eyes were bigger than their swimming stomach and and they are like I am. I am desperately wading through these waves crashing against me, but there's people who are like, oh, I'm out, I'm I'm in too deep and are trying to like drag me. I'm trying to signal the lifeguard, but he's working part-time at six flags.
Matt:He doesn't give a fuck eric, you don't know how wave pool works, do you?
Tim:I do I thought you're gonna say a wave pool full of vomit and I thought that just the visceral warmness of being in that, and then your goal is to get out or escape it. But there's people in front of you.
Eric:I'm reaching for a raft and all I'm getting is empty bottles and band-aids Like used band-aids. That is my driftwood.
Matt:Yes, yes, that is a horrific image. Yeah, everything we just discussed, really. So, tim, you are from Against All Oddities. Before we get into your questions, why don't you tell us a little bit about the show for the listeners who might not have crossed over yet? I?
Tim:will. So it's a little weird right now, but I'll tell you. So the podcast it's me and my two older brothers I'm the youngest, and then chris is in the middle and nate's the oldest and we don't really like call to be like, hey, how are you feeling? If you're sad, I'll talk to you about it, or what. No, like we need a purpose, even when we hang out just to build something if, or to cook, I don't know. So that started in 2019 and it's the weird, the esoteric, the uh, the occult is how it started. And then you know cryptids. But we also just do things that we find odd, uh, like weird snacks, or we've had several movie episodes, just movie reviews, or, uh, random things like ritual, magic or manifestation or shadow work, just trying to make yourself a better person.
Eric:So, yeah, your discord is lit. I love I dip in there now and just see what you guys are talking about and it's always like just the coolest shit.
Matt:I'm generally a lurker. A lot of these discord, but I do lurk.
Tim:I am there Remote viewing is a big thing. Astral projection was big. So nate's been to the monroe institute a few times and if you haven't heard of it, it's based out of uh. It's near charlottesville, virginia, and it's uh. Uva has a center of consciousness and they are actually trying to make objective studies on these people that know how to have out of body experiences or do remote viewing things like that. So they'll hook electrodes to your brain and they run binaural beats whole time you're there and they try to get you to sort of create this or bring it out from yourself. That is so fucking cool, insane.
Tim:That is insane the stories Nate brings out of that. And, uh, the people that he meets, it's from like the really strict military guys that just had this experience and they're like I need you to tell me why this happened to me, it doesn't make sense. Or they're like I'm gonna be the best at living, and if living means on the other realm, I'm gonna be the best there too. So you know like crunchy hippie people that are just waiting for a ufo objection or something. Um. So he brings a lot of good stuff back um, and then we kind of try to build off of that. Um nice, and then chris will go out into the woods for no reason at midnight and then just do stuff and then come back.
Eric:So does eric yeah, see, I fuck with this, so hard I was. I was in the woods this past weekend having out-of-body experience that's awesome.
Tim:Induced out-of-body experiences or for joke purposes, yes, it's.
Matt:Who can say how they happen? Who can say it's? Who can say where they grow, it's worth it's?
Tim:just, and it's scary to go into the woods. It is so scary. But then as soon as you get back inside, you're like I wish I stayed out longer oh yeah, yes, yeah, I didn't have the experience I need.
Tim:Um, like I've got property out in the middle of virginia and I say property, it's, it's a literal home depot shed that somebody finished and put like a bathroom and electricity and stuff, oh nice, but it's like carpeted and has like an oven and stuff. Finished and put like a bathroom and electricity and stuff, oh nice, but it's like carpeted and has like an oven and stuff. So it's like a little camp, but there's a creek on the property.
Tim:And then I'll just like, maybe induce things the same way eric does and then, um, after the kids go to bed, I'll just walk and just stand at the creek. Yeah, why not? Yeah, disconnect, reconnect to something else.
Eric:Absolutely. Yeah, my therapist has put me through a lot of exercises. One called leaves on the stream he asked me to. He's like when you're overwhelmed with thoughts he's like literally sit next to a stream or if you can't imagine one, and he's like in all of your thoughts. He was like as your thoughts arise, like pick up a leaf off the ground and place the thought on that leaf and put it on the stream and watch it just go away, like watch it float away, and that's always been extremely helpful. So anytime I find myself by a stream, if I'm walking through a park or in nature, take a moment to do.
Matt:That Helps like I have to let my thoughts float away. Sorry, babe.
Tim:That's a zen practice too, though, right, isn't it? Because your goal is to not think at all, and then, if you start to just have stray thoughts, you're just supposed to just let them work themselves out, and then, yeah yeah, like the way I've heard it described to me, like through zen practice and all of that, and like other buddhist circles, is they're like, yeah, the.
Eric:The point isn't that you have no thoughts occurring, it's just that you're not clinging to any that happen, like as they, as they come up, you're just watching them go by right, you're standing in the stream, just let them yeah, let them float.
Tim:You know, what's funny is, when I go in the stream, all I do is pick up leaves and just chuck them to the side and try to clean that stuff.
Matt:Yes, get the sticks out. You gotta clean while downstream eric's like where are all these goddamn leaves coming from? Oh no, Are these my intrusive?
Tim:thoughts. Yeah, it's all gunked up. What does?
Matt:it mean, where are they all coming from? It's like someone threw a bucket in the creek.
Tim:Some man is throwing my thoughts to the bank.
Matt:So, tim, you told us you had a lot of questions. I do, let's get to them. Let's get to them, let's get to them so I have a couple.
Tim:That's just like there's a, there's an answer, and I just want to see if you know the answer it's not really I love this.
Matt:Oh, this is just a test, then yeah, I love this.
Tim:Yes, great, but there's hopefully a segue into something else, uh, into a more subjective one. So the first, like more objective question is and real quick, matt.
Eric:Um, I'm pretty sure this is like our our audition for the illuminati, so don't fuck this up for us. Got it? Yeah, yeah, go on.
Tim:Hey, um, also spoiler alert, I dropped you both two little separate things that are not related to each other, and I don't think you two know about the other one, so that was like I was, I was definitely keeping mine I was keeping mine a secret and they're completely unrelated.
Matt:They're two separate things, but I wanted to keep it even so, I didn't know okay, I didn't know how you were going to approach this. So not only did I not say anything to poach, I also had a bit planned in case I was not supposed to mention that I know about something that's so awesome.
Matt:So for the audience's perspective, tim did message me a while ago. That was like I'm going to ask you this question and I'm letting you know in advance, but not Eric, and I was like, oh, I'm going to have fun with this.
Eric:What a coincidence, Matt.
Matt:What a coincidence.
Tim:Oh, I fully thought he was actually doing the same thing, but I I was just gonna casually drop into this prepared thing, so I'll say eric's is pretty funny, but uh, I wanted matt to really digest it and come up with something where eric doesn't get that advantage, so I'm looking, we'll get.
Matt:We can get to those whenever you're ready, so separately.
Tim:Do you all know who mr newton is and the newton family, mr newton, as in sir isaac? No, I'll give you a clue. It's maybe early 90s pop culture, mr newton.
Eric:Mr newton, why does that sound familiar it?
Matt:does. It does have a an air of familiarity, but I can't place it so educate us.
Tim:in the early 90s there were some criminals that were stealing dogs for a certain vet and one erroneously escaped somehow and made its way into the Newton family and the father had trouble accepting it and it grew up to be a big St Bernard named Beethoven and there was a movie about it called Beethoven. And that is the Newton family. My question is who's the most famous person from the Beethoven movie? You know, I'll give you a hint.
Matt:Also, also, it's not one of the newtons well, I was gonna say his um, oh, you mean the real newton family, or from the beethoven, it's all just beethoven, okay, okay, that's not right, I was. I can't think of his name. I'm blanking on his name, but the dad is a notable actor. Like he's been in many 80s films. He sort of disappeared after Beethoven.
Eric:In my mind he's always been Steve Martin at home.
Tim:Oh, like not in character. Like not in character, steve Martin.
Eric:No, he's just like diet Steve Martin, like he occupies the same silhouette. I don't think I agree with that.
Tim:He's the less talented older brother of Steve Martin.
Matt:Yes, I guess I kind of get what you're saying.
Eric:He's the Jim Belushi to his John.
Matt:Who's the Jim Belushi, the dad from Beethoven? I don't, okay, maybe. Maybe that analogy kind of has legs, I'll give it to you.
Eric:Maybe I don't even know this man's name, I can't think of his name, but I hear him to steve martin, but I'm saying he doesn't remind me of steve martin in his comedy in any real no, they look. I'm. I'm talking purely like, in terms of like looks. He looks kind of like steve martin. So follow.
Tim:Follow-up question, though have you ever heard of an actor named Joseph Gordon Levitt?
Eric:Yes.
Matt:Oh my God, he is in Beethoven. He is student number one. I forgot all about that until you said his name. He's totally in Beethoven.
Tim:Jacob Levitt is in fucking Beethoven For like two seconds and it's totally him. So my question is. You're 100% right. Based off of that, here's the question who should have made it that didn't? It can be a band that you saw, or an actor, or, um, any, anything where you're like. How is that related to the? Beethoven question anyway because student number one made it in the family, didn't yeah, that's, that's fucking brilliant. I oh okay, all right, all right, I see it could be a friend, or like an opening act or anything, something I'll tell.
Matt:Yeah, I'll tell you an, a very active person that just jumped to mind of who I want to make it, um, and I just want to give him press. Uh, and Poach knows about this guy already. I learned about him through TikTok. He's a musician by the name of Jesse Wells and before he blew up on TikTok he was just going by Wells. Now he's Jesse Wells. You can find him on Spotify.
Matt:He writes folk music, a lot of protest-esque songs about our current state of affairs and beyond that, but he's a brilliant lyricist. I really think he's going to be huge and he just is pumping out music Like he's just song after song after song. He released three albums last year. He, the man, is a fucking machine. Three albums in one year, yes, and two of them are significantly better than the third, I I admit, but the? Uh, they're very good. They're full of bangers, jesse wells, check them out. Spotify, wherever you find Jesse Wells, I want him to be huge. So he jumps to mind as somebody who's like who I want to make it actively, who's in the process of making it. But I'm trying to think of somebody, because it feels like what you're asking is who didn't make it and should have. So to that end, I'm still thinking.
Eric:Eric, I have any. Mine is also music related. There was a band that was local to baltimore I want to say in like the early 2010s called bielsa fuzz.
Matt:Yes and I thought for a second you were going to be talking about all-time low and I was like they made it eric little band you might have heard of them. I was like we can say all-time low made it.
Eric:No. Bielsa fuzz fucking ruled their classic like stoner metal band, like fucking black sabbath walked so bielsa fuzz could run nice and. And the lead singer we, we, we. We got to know these guys because we go to their shows all the times they were local and like the, the lead singer, really cool dude named dana ort, dana ort, dana ort. Um, insanely talented singer.
Eric:I love watching this man sing because when he sings a he looks like they're singing about all the classic like stoner metal stuff, like fucking like mystical forest and like, like selling your soul to them, like fucking cosmic lotuses and shit like that. And Dana looks like a fucking warlock, long black hair, just like pointed goatee, like and and the faces he would make as he sang were. It was like watching an entire narrative where I was watching this man who had sold his soul to some, like made a pact with a demon for this voice and like you can see him like as he's singing, like he's wrestling with this new power within him and then and then he, and then he realizes it's too much and he's like suffering, but then he embraces the darkness and accepts his fate like it's like all of that passes over his face as he's singing these songs like he, he can't believe what's coming out of his out of his mouth either. Are they still playing shows? So, unfortunately, the band I have one of their vinyls, I have some T-shirts, I even have like a fucking box that they carved, basically a stash box, and they, for one reason or another I don't want to make any assumptions, I don't know why, but the band did.
Eric:They disbanded towards the end of the 2010s. They never got like huge, but they were like really popular. I went to their album release party. That was in a pizza place in like Mount Airy and it was awesome. It was awesome. But the good news is that dana has started a new project, uh, in the past couple years, with, I think, some of the dudes from beelzefuz. They're called mythosphere and you can check them out now. I want them to blow up so bad I want them to be. I want them to be huge. I, I, I love that band. I love that singer so they're so good.
Tim:I'm so glad that you answered in that manner, because I was gonna say, uh, one of the questions was specifically for eric. Have you heard of the band psy s-i-g-h. S-i-g-h not psy, gingham style? So psy is a japanese black metal band sold and they have been around forever and they used to be psychedelic black metal like a japanese sort of slayer-ish uh, but on acid. And then now these guys dope. They are more just traditional black metal, but they're shrieking in japanese, so it's got a bit of a twist to it yeah so, um, I definitely recommend checking them out and then then.
Tim:So a followup question is um, what's your band's name and what's the first name of your album?
Matt:You and you and Matt like oh, our our YouTube have now started.
Tim:Whatever band you have settled. Oh yeah, black metal, acapella or whatever, it is Sure yeah.
Eric:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay. So sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah okay, so, matt, I feel like, where you and I overlap okay, I, it's dicey, it's dicey, but I feel like of the venn diagram of our musical taste, in that little overlap there is just one category called folk. Yeah, I feel like we, we should be like a folk band. You like rock music too? Oh, I do, I do, but like I fucks with folk music.
Matt:Sure me too. Obviously I think you're saying that because I sent you a playlist of Jesse Wells.
Eric:Well, you sent me a folk playlist of Jesse Wells and I sent you a folk punk playlist, you did yes. So that's why I'm like, that's why my brain's going there.
Matt:Okay, and that makes sense. Okay, so we, hmm, let's start with the name. What was the second part, name and first album? Oh, first, album.
Tim:If we're like name dropping stuff and you're going to be punk folk, can I tell you the name of my favorite punk folk band? That disbanded 20 years ago. Probably this bike is a pipe bomb. This bike is a pipe bomb. This bike is a pipe bomb.
Eric:Adding that to the list.
Tim:Yeah, and they're definitely, and you'd expect, like some hardcore band and they're just play like acoustic stuff and screaming things. It was nice.
Matt:In incredible 20 years ago.
Eric:So I don't I doubt they've done anything since. I guarantee my partner knows about them. I guarantee Alyssa does. She's, she's fucking brilliant. Oh, okay.
Matt:So you said pipe bomb, and now this is where my head's gone. We'll just go with the Kaczynski method.
Eric:The Kaczynski method fucking rips.
Tim:That also fits being in the woods.
Matt:It's like that show, only not.
Eric:Matt, was that off the dome?
Matt:It was off the dome bud.
Eric:I love that. The Kaczynski method yes.
Matt:That's definitely pretty hardcore for a punk folk band yeah, yeah, we got something to say and we might kill people to do it.
Eric:I I fuck it okay so it's the kaczynski method for the first album, first album wearing a wire we do the entire show, like we've. We've just kind of we're clandestinely meeting the audience in a like like you know how, like it's two guys like meeting on a park bench. Except, yes, we're, we're meeting an entire audience in a yes, this is kind of simple.
Eric:This is in a similar vein to another favorite band of mine called masked intruder. If you ever fuck with them, their entire bit is they all wear like ski masks on stage and like they show up and they're like all right, all right, all right, we got to do this quick, we got to get out of here so they keep it like a bit the whole time, like, oh it's a bit that they're doing crimes.
Matt:They're always doing crimes, all right kaczynski method the kaczynski method with debut album wearing a wire wearing a wire all right so parent that yeah.
Eric:And then first song titled are you? And then second song because you have to tell.
Matt:And third song owed to the postal service.
Tim:Yeah, because Kaczynski loves indie pop bands and then the postal service. So I wrote this one down. I think it's kind of going to play off of that in a little bit. But so if you two started, your band, was was successful, but it wasn't paying the bill. So, um, why?
Matt:does this sound familiar? Right so you start a.
Tim:You start a food truck, like what are you, what are you making out of there and what's that called? Oh man like skrillex started grillix or whatever.
Matt:Given the canon of our show, I feel like it has to be hot dogs it has to be some sort of specialty hot dogs in which the glizzy method the name the glizzy method the glizzy method.
Eric:Uh, yeah, and it would be. It would be the wildest fucking hot dogs, like it would.
Matt:It would be experimental hot dogs so like baskin robbins, but hot dog toppings yeah that's what we call it, we call it like, we call it our title, like you know, the glizzy method, experimental hot dogs, yeah, yeah, ghost, ghost, ghost kitchen food truck, ghost kitchen food truck, ghost kitchen food truck.
Eric:And what's key here is all you can do is walk up and order a hot dog you do not specify anything.
Matt:So you don't get a choice. You don't get a choice. The two madmen in the truck decide what you get.
Tim:Yeah, oh my God, in the truck, decide what you get. Yeah, oh my god, that just I had. I'm skipping a question and rolling right into one of the secret questions. Secret question number one, hey, matt yeah, I sent erica a message and I said matt has to get his butt tattooed. You're going to tattoo his butt. He can't say yes, eric's going to tattoo my butt.
Tim:Yes, he can't say. You can't say yes or no. You have no choice into what it is. Eric gets to choose what the image is. It cannot be a freckle, it cannot be a dot, and if you don't follow through with a recognizable image or icon in some way, the tattoo police arrest you both.
Eric:Yeah, so all right, eric was to come up with this answer well, not yet.
Tim:The question is for matt. What do you think he chose to put on your butt? Oh, what do I think?
Matt:eric chose, yeah ah, all is revealed man I will be impressed I really, I really want to give this a thought for a hot second. I want to get this right. Knowing I can't, I'm going to suggest. I want to suggest Eric's tattoo for me somehow involves Frasier, and maybe it's like Frazier and Marty McFly holding hands on a flying spreadsheet, because I think this is Eric in an episode that's about to air this week. When we're recording this episode, eric goes off about my spreadsheets, knowing and I can't stress this enough absolutely nothing about any spreadsheets. I may or may not operate. He just said some shit, so I think he he somehow thinks this is a big part of my life. So I think, like a magic carpet, only is an Excel spreadsheet Frazier and Marty McFly holding hands. That final answer, regis.
Eric:They were high-fiving. Fuck you, oh, is that true? No, no, no, no, no. God, how insane would that be? No, nothing quite so crass.
Tim:Nothing's quite so blue as Frasier Crane, andy mcfly holding hands on an excel sheet I applaud that effort though, because that really like hey for all in on the idea for spinning up a tattoo off the top of my head.
Matt:I think I did pretty good. Yeah, all right, eric, what's going on my ace?
Eric:uh. So imagine you know how, like every now and then you'll be scrolling through social media, usually facebook or something, and you'll see they'll share, like uh, a quote from winnie the pooh and it's like it's usually some like super somber, like deep moving, and it's like poo and piglet like their backs to the camera and like they're walking together down a path like toward. So poo's on one ass, cheek piglets on the other, and like there's usually like there's like a little exchange between the two. And I want the exchange to be uh, poo say it'll be like it's a, it's a victimless crime, poo said, and then piglet will finish like punching someone in the dark. Jesus christ, I it is great. And like there I want it need the perspective needs to be such that like it's very clear that they're walking together into your ass.
Matt:Oh yeah, that's, very clear from your description. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, that's really good, eric. Thank you, that's a good butt bit you did there.
Tim:Yeah, a poo ass tattoo is pretty solid alone.
Matt:I do think with me personally, you lose some points for not including my spirit creature character Eeyore. Yeah who I am, I am Eeyore.
Eric:You're an Eeyore rising and a rabbit moon.
Matt:Sure.
Eric:To put it in astrology terms.
Matt:Yeah, fine, but I'll say this You're an owl cusp, go on. But I'll say this You're an owl cusp, go on. I was in a store recently with Lindsay and there was a collection of stuffed animals there and there were Eeyores and Eeyore in the middle of this store. I completely lost my shit because Eeyore had a full ass tail and I simply could not. I could not handle it.
Eric:How did they fuck that?
Matt:up. I could not. And I don't mean it was pinned on, I mean he had a proper tail and I was infuriated by this.
Tim:Like a full flowing horse tail.
Matt:It was a full natural tail that eeyore does not have very notably, and I didn't mean to cry in front of the children, but that's how it happened no it's fair uh someone's, someone's got her an eeyore.
Matt:Yeah, someone's got a fucking, someone's got to stand up for my boy, eeyore, and I say that because I just you, you know, eeyore, yeah, someone's got to fucking stand up, someone's got to stand up for my boy, eeyore. And I say that because I just, you know, eeyore, and I feel as one. And I think this is exemplified by a quote from the more recent movie, the animated movie Winnie the Pooh, where it came out like 2000, I want to say 12, maybe somewhere in there the Hufflepuff or something.
Matt:Something like that, but it was a proper like animated Winnie the Pooh and the first for quite some time. But the owl was saying something and Pooh thought he was sneezing. Like he was saying at you like I want to throw this at you, and he was like oh, bless you. And he was like no, no, no at you. And he was saying at you like I want to throw this at you and he was like oh, bless you. And he was like no, no, no at you. And he was like oh, and he was like oh, somebody has caught a cold. And Eeyore, who has not been part of the scene up until this point goes, I'll probably catch it too. And I saw myself. I love Eeyore. Anyway, that's a quality tattoo, eric. Despite Eeyore's lack of appearance, I welcome them into the hundred acre wood that is my anus.
Eric:Well, I would say Eeyore's, where he's always been. Matt, inside you, pooh and Piglet are just going to meet him.
Tim:Very good very good got you, got you babies.
Tim:Well done thank you these questions are dynamite, tim, dynamite, my man keep them flowing so there was this thing that came out I think it was a tiktok thing, um, but it also went big on. It just got shared a lot youtube and things. Um, there's, uh, some couple that's been communicating with something within a ouija board for like 13 years and it's what they do once a week and they, they like just talk to it and it keeps giving them weird math and weird numbers and it described three events and then it was like 6,800 days after the six and they're like we don't, we can't math this, but each event ended up. One was like we've been trying to communicate in the first time failed, and that's on the day they figured it out. It was like the day that bomb got dropped in World War Two. And on the day they'd figured it out, it was like the day that bomb got dropped in world war ii.
Tim:And they're like fast forward, however many thousands of days, and we did get the communication through, and that was with the cold war, when the uh was, when the cuban missile crisis was averted, and they said there's a, according to this ouija board thing, there's a third event on may 27, 2025, and the, the apparition that they're communicating with, they said it's already. Nobody heard this, so it's too late, but it's like everything's written in backwards and all this. It's a pretty good little two-minute clip of this woman like totally spooking you out yeah, but she has a journal out.
Eric:I'm not even watching it. What, even if? What was?
Matt:it march?
Tim:what? Oh, may 27, may 27, like that, or may 25th, one of those days. They said that's the third event, the big one, and so big one it's. It seems to be nuclear, but it's if they fake the whole thing and made it up. They filled out a full composition book of just random notes of whatever they've been doing. Um, it's interesting, it's worth looking up. But the uh that made me think. There's two types of people if the world ends those that are like fuck this and I'm walking into the mist. And then the others are like I'll survive. Yeah, where do you two stand on that? Are you gonna? Are you gonna linger? Are you gonna just walk into the void?
Matt:I would, I would definitely. I know myself well enough to know that I'd, I'd, I'd attempt to linger, I would, I'd attempt to survive.
Eric:I would, I would linger, I would, I would. I have thought about this so much. I'm like me too in terms of like what would my job be in the post-apocalyptic? And like what I'd want to be or what I would think would be of vital importance. Fucking lore keepers, storytellers like, fucking like we're.
Matt:It'll be back to people sitting around a fire and sharing their history orally I mean it won't be what's most important, but we'll feel like it is, just like we as actors do today. Yeah, yeah. No, I do think about it a lot because I do think there'd be. I think there's like this odd comfort waiting for me in the apocalypse, like I think there's a, there's an odd release of all expectations I never have to worry about another bill.
Eric:I never have to worry about fucking going to work like all I have I have actual things to worry about it becomes primal right like it gets back to atma.
Matt:number one objective is survive the day like, day in, day out, like any old animal out there. So you're, sir, oh god. But it also frees you from like the expectations you have of yourself and that you feel like others have of you in this current societal norm that we have. You know your dreams, aspirations, and if you don't, are you doing enough to achieve them? Or what do people think of me? All that's gone, the hustle is done, it's all just about living that's such an the, a unique silver lining.
Tim:I don't think anybody's phrased it like that.
Eric:That's because no one's asked me but like it's a and funny that matt and I have never really like we've jokingly talked about like in a mad max scenario, what we think we would be, but like we never talked about. Like okay, actual pile, but like very similar wavelength here, like I've had the same. I was like man now granted massive asterisk. This whole statement no, I don't want the apocalypse to happen, I will.
Eric:I like my nice things I I like I like living indoors in a society, um, but I was like always looking for that silver lining. I was like man, the shit I won't have to worry about anymore.
Tim:The idea of a career is gone, gone, that stress is gone. So I guess the follow-up question to that is what would be your preferred method of apocalypse?
Eric:Oh, yeah, because nuclear there's a good chance. You, you're gone, you're just yeah, that's see, that's the, the. I'm on the eastern seaboard, I, I can't.
Matt:I'm too close to dc not only are you gone, but there's.
Tim:There's the like radiation factor right yeah, I'd like to romanticize that, though I'd a little bit, a little bit.
Matt:I'd like to think that post pandemic, I have a good survival mindset for the next one, you know, for the one for the big one that really wipes the planet out. You know the stand level of pandemic. I think I would like a zombie apocalypse.
Eric:I think I could handle Okay, I think I could handle it Me personally, yeah, I think for me it's all about the lesson, because I think if we're going to get an apocalypse, humanity's got to, because I'm such a fan of Star Trek In order to get to if you're familiar at all with Star Trek lore in order to get to this post-scarcity, enlightened future where fights for material resources are no longer a thing and we've gone past all that bullshit. Now we just explore the stars. Before that they had what were called the eugenics wars, so like things got real dark, real apocalyptic, real thing. And like what came out of that was humanity literally said holy shit, okay, lesson learned. Never like we have to be better than this. We have to aspire.
Eric:We simply have to we have to, and so I want, whatever the apocalypse is, to be thoroughly humbling, uh, to our species and something we can actually learn from. So, like, like. So I think, like nukes could certainly fit that bill, but like I'm also like mankind genetically engineers, like some sort of creature for war, and it turns out that that those things just start breeding like crazy and like we're no longer the apex, something that makes us no longer the apex predator on this planet I think, I think that would be most interesting times to live in fifth dimensional being just sort of pops in like you guys screwed up, you're done oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh man
Eric:aliens, it was a good run, it was a good try, yeah like if they showed up and they were like here's, you're gonna about to be culled.
Tim:And here's the laundry list of reasons why I dig that yeah all right, so stone aged back by something better than us. Yeah, I don't think I could survive that one as much as zombies. Zombies is like a problem that you can punch in the face or true, true, true, yeah, yeah, that one that's better than you, that's true, true, true, yeah, yeah, that one that's better than you, that's, I'm afraid of it.
Matt:That that that does remind me of like the the horizon game franchise and like feeling very much like something took over, uh, and put us, put us in our place, which honestly, maybe humans could use, but, um, I still don't want necessarily to be a part of it.
Tim:Yeah, yeah sure all right, well, okay, the next question is the I think, the secret question that I sent to matt. Oh, okay, so let me. I'm gonna phrase it the exact same for you, eric's. I'm pulling it up so I can read it.
Tim:So the experiment was especially with this, I wanted to set a chain of events different than just showing up and asking you questions, so I reached out to Matt first, Also because I had a feeling that if, retrospectively, we had like a breakdown of like well, how do you think the podcast went? If I had asked this question out of the blue, I think Matt would have said would have been nice to have a heads up on that. Oh, interesting, when I think Eric would have been like have been nice to have a heads up on that. Oh, interesting, when I think Eric would have been like yeah, I was good with it, Okay so Wow, just Eric Tim, just read us to filth.
Eric:But anyway 100%.
Tim:I don't know if you guys know this, but I have listened to dozens, if not hundreds, of hours of you two talking to each other, so it's easy to pick up and let me just say I'm sorry.
Tim:No, I love it. I'd say the question, the answers are great, but you know what? I will just take a brief moment to brag on you guys a bit. The two of you that constantly lifting each other up is what takes it to the like. I'm coming back next week because y'all give each other shit, but it's all. You can always tell it's ribbing, it's not like malicious yeah, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta.
Tim:Razz your homies yeah, razzle razzle, like those those neat cast homies that you know yeah, they clearly hate each other's fucking guts it kind of feels like you're in the car while mom and dad are fighting. Right, they hate each other they absolutely hear like them just kick the shit out of each other every monday. And that being said, so cory that from the world is my burrito podcast had brought up this, and it's so I owe him some credit for it, though he admitted he stole it from somewhere.
Matt:Hell yeah we've all still. Our whole entire show is stolen.
Tim:Content continue don't even file the serial numbers off that is a picasso quote, actually that good artists borrow, great artists steal. All right, so keep it secret, keep it safe, no more, all right, it's a complex question, so I'm curious to see how the extra time will help. But also it's kind of a fun bit. You're an assassin, but you've never been caught because you kill people with the butterfly effect. You have a new target, an evil oil baron from Oilville, america. How do you kill him, eric, utilizing the butterfly effect?
Eric:Utilizing the butterfly effect. Get me Ashton Kutcher.
Matt:Oh man, Mr President, we can't. Ashton has been canceled, oh thank God.
Eric:Oh yeah, I didn't say he'd be making it back from this one, not this time.
Matt:Third, time's the charm.
Eric:So how would I, using the butterfly effect, kill Oil McOilson, the evil oil baron, Oil McOilson?
Tim:That's his full name. That's his proper name.
Eric:So I need it to be ironic. I would start investing in scholarships for young, bright scientists coming out of high school. I would fully invest in someone's education. I would be slowly searching out someone who was interested in genetics, genetic experimentation. I would oh, I would just keep kind of funneling money to their education through whatever nefarious means I could, and with my hope being that they go on to be like, get their, get their their college degree, get their masters, get their doctorate in like, like genetic sciences. I would want them to be the person who finally perfects cloning technology, ergo they become the first person to successfully clone a dinosaur. Ergo this leads to the dinosaur new apex predator, post apocalypse, where oil mcoylson gets eaten by a tyrannosaurus rex, because that is essentially we're, we're, they're fossil fuels getting their revenge at that point uh, yes yes full circle it's come full circle.
Eric:It's like now now they've come for you, wow well done, that's good.
Matt:Yeah, that is such a hard question that was a good question, that's a good question. And uh, oh, I guess, is it my time to shine now, is it? I mean, so, matt did get a heads up on this. I did get a heads up. Uh, it was hot. Honestly, it was hard to really uh, wrap my head around, put any real substantial thought to it. Um, so let me just start by saying, uh, sorry if I uh, if this isn't what you were expecting, tim, but, um, I want to start by giving just a little background on my character and then I'm going to sort of off the dome. Some of the things I've been thinking about, not really prepared anything too much in advance.
Eric:He was up till three in the morning, I guarantee it.
Matt:My long and storied career as an assassin, well known in America's filthy criminal underground but a literal unknown to the public, has earned me the nickname of the Karma Chameleon.
Eric:Yeah, Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon.
Matt:One evening the call comes in from my handler. A new client has a tricky request. Oh, they'll pay, all right, but the target will be a personal one. It's the evil king of Oilville, the richest oil baron the world has ever seen, cormac Midnight Gold LaFontaine Better known to me, however, as Uncle Corey. Lucky for me, I always hated that son of a bitch, that was a relationship there.
Eric:Love this.
Matt:I accepted the job. Of course I do Five million up front, with another ten big ones heading my way for a job well done, as if I'd be capable as anything else. So I begin my process in the usual way Five straight, uninterrupted hours of contemplation. Slowly but surely, the path begins to reveal itself to me. You see, eric, I'm a trailblazer in that way. Only my blazes are all painted in blood. God damn.
Matt:I spend weeks scoping out midnight golds, mansions and refineries, pouring over my essential reading, the stock returns for the last year, tmz articles, the farmer's almanac, the blooper reels from every season of Whose Line Is it Anyway? All of which just helps the path come into focus. All of which just helps the path come into focus. Once it does Uncle Cory's well will finally run dry. So on a bright, crisp spring day, I head over to a bar, the Humpless Camel and order a hurricane. Oh, but it's not for me, it's for the man sitting next to me, one, ramon Santiago. He says what's that for? I tell him I like the cut of his jib. He tells me the same. We get to talking and keep to drinking, and after a few rounds I buy Ramon Santiago one last hurricane for being such a top-notch conversationalist. Santiago, you son of a bitch.
Matt:I head out but my afternoon's not over, oh no, I go to one of the refineries. I pull up at 4.58 pm. I tell Jimmy at the gate I'm dropping something off for Uncle Corey, but Jimmy's distracted. He's watching the end of the man United match. He's never missed a match and a 2-2 draw against man City. Heading into stoppage time isn't going to stop because some nepo baby has rolled up. So he waves me through without checking me, in same as he did for Veronica, only a few minutes before I drive by the main building at 5.01 pm, exactly the one building which Uncle Cory's office sits proudly at the center of, overlooking the entire refinery. I get there just as Veronica has crossed through his office door. Uncle greets her with a kiss, then closes his office curtains, just as he always does Sexy. I drive off. I stop at Kinko's. I print my pictures. Yeah, I drive to the bus station, but I park down the street. I get on the 535, take a look at the picture that I've just taken of my uncle and Veronica as Daniel Crawford takes a seat next to me. I get off at the next stop. The picture does not. I see Crawford take a look at it as the bus drives off, I go home and watch TV. For you see, gentlemen, my work is done.
Matt:The following night Uncle Cory returns home to his mansion and to his horror he discovers his lawn has not been mowed that day. He can tell that because it's precisely an eighth of an inch longer than the night before and he always did have an eye for detail. He calls his landscaping company and gives the foreman an earful. The foreman apologizes, says his man was sick. He'll be there first thing tomorrow. But Corey's worried about the schedule. Tells the foreman to make sure his man waters when he's finished. He's worried the lawn will dry out. If it does, he'll find a competent landscaping company to keep his yard tip top. Man, what a tyrant. Fuck this guy. So he hangs up. The foreman glosses over in horror. He can't afford to lose this contract. So he calls his sick man that was assigned to Uncle's house. Except he knows he's not sick, he's hungover. That's right, it's our friend Ramon Santiago Santiago. You, son of a bitch. He's back on the drink, marriage being what it is. And the foreman says I'm so into this.
Eric:You can just throw that in anywhere, marriage being what it is.
Matt:And the foreman has given him enough chances, he tells Ramon to get the job done right and don't he dare let that lawn dry out. Not now, not ever. Ramon has the devil scared out of him. He swears he'll do better. No more hurricanes for him. So the next day he arrives early, he gets the lawn done without delay. He waters that yard. Not one blade of this lawn will go dry, that's for sure. But meanwhile Daniel Crawford has acted on his chance finding of the photo. After all, what's Senator Veronica Patrick doing? Kissing Midnight?
Eric:Gold LaFontaine.
Matt:God damn, he digs in. After all, isn't that what an investigative journalist does? He hasn't brought the Oilville Times where it is by chance. No no, he gets himself a job at the refinery as a janitor. He works his way to working the main office. It takes time, but then again, all good stories do. He works the night shift. Nobody wants it and he's finally able to gain access to my uncle's office. Sure, it's been 11 months since he found the picture, but a money trail never goes cold and he finds what he needs. The next day he hammers out his story at the paper's offices, bragging about his find. The story will be printed tomorrow. The Oilville Times expose into Senator Patrick's affair with Uncle Cory, an affair that began because she was accepting money from my uncle in exchange for her support of their new pipeline.
Eric:There it fucking is. No, there it fucking is.
Matt:there it fucking is, but his story is overheard by dylan stanley, a temp who was just hired after being fired as uncle cory's butler after forgetting to remove a pit from an olive well, let me digest that first Marriage being what it is.
Matt:Marriage being what it is. He races to the estate. He's shivering in his car in the unseasonable cold. How can it be so damn close to 20 degrees in May? No matter, this is his chance to get his job back. He drives through the open gate and nearly takes out the man standing in the driveway. And the man is on his last nerve. He lashes out. He's shaking a garden hose at him. That's right. It's none other than Ramon Santiago.
Eric:Santiago, you son of a bitch.
Matt:He's finishing off his lawn cutting for the day and it may be shockingly cold, but Ramon has stuck to his word. He's off the drink and that lawn will get cut and watered every day if it's the last thing he does. So Crawford leaves Santiago behind. He knocks on the door. He tells Uncle everything. Uncle panics. He calls the paper, but it's too late. The paper's already being printed for the morning. Uncle Coryics he calls the paper, but it's too late. The paper's already being printed for the morning.
Matt:Uncle Cory can't sleep. He tosses, he turns until finally, blissfully, he sees the clock has struck 5 am. He looks outside and he sees the sight he's waited all night to see it's the paper boy riding by on his bike, shivering as he tosses the morning paper over the gate. Uncle races downstairs. He has to see the story. He has to assess the damage.
Matt:Could this be the end of his marriage, the end of his freedom, the end of his refineries, the end of his empire?
Matt:How did this information even get discovered in the first place? These are the questions he ponders. As he bursts through the door, he charges down the driveway, not seeing the thick patch of black ice that has formed from where Ramon Santiago shook his hose at Crawford nearly 12 hours before His legs race away faster than his body can register and he flops down, cracking his head on the pavement with a strike that sounds not unlike the sound of a stalk of bamboo being cracked in half. The back of his head opens like one of Gallagher's melons, but his wife's asleep and in the dark and cold of the early morning no one will discover him for hours, long after he died right there in the driveway A tragic accident After all. Who would believe that the farmer's almanac would be right about a freak May cold spout? Or just the latest work from the man known only to some and known only as the karma chameleon? Anyway, that's just off the dome, that's just. That's just something I'm thinking of in the moment.
Eric:I I feel like you did a really good job christy I'm unreasonably proud of that did john grisham, like ghost, write this? What the fuck was that was? That was awesome. That could be a movie. I'm over here like I'm gonna throw money at a child and invent dinosaurs when 24 is gonna pick that up.
Matt:When you gave this to me I was like I gotta come up with some good that is so good and good he did. That was so good, thank you, thank you good god Ramon Santiago gonna play Santiago?
Tim:yes, I hope so, or both, yeah, well done, well done, bravo thank you, thank you I also. I I don't know, do you want to keep bragging on it? That was really. That was very entertaining. That was almost five solid minutes of breathtaking storytelling based off of a stupid question.
Matt:I wrote way too much and I was like well, I'm gonna have to deliver this like double speed I matt.
Eric:You know you did a good job because it was the moment. At the second I realized that I put the puzzle piece together. It's like he's gonna run out front and it's gonna be ice and he's gonna slip and fall like I was so proud of myself I figured it out, you did, you did I was like I was surprised. Oh, the pizzas were there.
Tim:God the butterfly applaud, I applaud the effort.
Eric:Thank you bravo 10 out of 10. You thank you. I appreciate it.
Matt:I appreciate that also it was fun.
Tim:Like I enjoyed it I don't think I have a question that can top anything like that. I think that's a very I don't have any more questions I. That is the an exclamation point what can we even?
Matt:say right, but well, I got a question for you, tim do. Do you know, like and I know Eric has some questions for you too, but like if you were to recommend, Actually you know what? I know what Eric's question is going to be. Eric, you go first.
Eric:Okay yeah, get the chaff out of the way.
Matt:No, no, no, no I think, in terms of an interview question, you got a better first question.
Eric:Oh, okay, in terms of an interview question, you got a better first question, okay. Okay, tim, as someone who, you, you, you, you strike me, you, you strike me as a believer. You strike me as someone who, who, who, explore, like, keeps an open mind to all crazy fucking shit. So, in, in cryptozoology and the paranormal and conspiracy theories, who this is almost almost this is in a similar vein to your earlier question almost like who didn't make it, who should have, yeah, what is a maybe not well-known or popular supernatural belief or conspiracy theory or what have you that you'd feel like people are sleeping on, like, oh, like, what is the one? I was like, no, no, it was like people, people should be reading about this. This has legs so I will.
Tim:My go-to is remote viewing and my biggest thing is people just need to try it. Um, I didn't. I was like, yeah, whatever it's.
Matt:Yeah, I mean, people draw things and you put you put like astral projection in the remote viewing family, I would um yeah well, you mentioned it earlier, so I I'm clarifying for myself so I'd say I'd say yes, I think so.
Tim:A personal belief and this the spooky, spookier side of it is that we're all, we're all connected. So we're all say, if this universe is a big pool of water and we stick our fingers under it and we all think we're individual beings talking to each other, but really if you look under the water we're all like part of the same hand. So I feel like that's kind of what consciousness is like the whole, not collective consciousness. But we're all somehow connected and we have these inter every.
Eric:Everything in the universe is acting on everything else in some way, subtle or or in some.
Tim:In some way it is connected and you can tap into that easily. You don't even have to try it. And I'd say the first time I actually tried was in the podcast nate did a monroe institute thing and he was like let's just try it. And I was like okay, whatever. And he gave us a number and he had put he didn't even know what was in the envelope, but the number associated with the envelope and I was like it's a cartoon in a black jacket and it was a fucking black and white picture of woody woodpecker and I was like I'm in, what is this soul?
Tim:I'm sold oh hell yeah, yeah, that's cool I so, uh, yeah, it's if you just try it and the the first, the first couple times are free right now, the first few. If you're not trying and you're not really into it and you just kind of do it, you get the strongest hits. And then when you're trying to get a hit, that's when you start to falter.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah without any kind of training or anything I've attempted. I've been like I'm gonna try to astral project, but it's just me and my own goddamn head trying to do something. So I've never like, I've never been taught the ways or whatever, but I I've gotten nothing from my attempts.
Tim:Unsurprisingly, A good place to start is lucid dreaming.
Matt:Oh, I've been trying to lucid dream my whole fucking life A couple.
Tim:So it's weird. I'll get into this in a minute, but our episodes are kind of hidden right now, except for one or two.
Matt:Yeah, I noticed that you've got like your last two months.
Tim:Right, I'll. Yeah, I noticed that you've got like your last two months. Right, I'll explain that they'll come back, but we just had to hide them for a while. So the lucid dreaming there are steps and we can try to send you some tips and tricks and we had a whole. I read a book once called by dr stephen laberge.
Matt:Uh, I think the art or the science of lucid dreaming. One of those two.
Tim:Yeah, nate just gave me that book. I haven't read it yet.
Matt:It's a little dated at this point probably, but cause I read it in like high school. But I've gotten to the point where I've had I've technically had a lucid dream, Cause I've been like, oh, I'm dreaming, and then instantly wake up.
Tim:That's the trick, as you say, oh, I'm dreaming, but you don't wake up, and then you can go lucid. That's what.
Tim:I'm trying to get to Tim A few brief little creepy and one kind of sad but sweet story. So the lucid dreaming is keep a dream journal next to your bed, or you can use your phone, and all you have to do is one or two lines about what you dreamed about and then you're training your brain that you're supposed to remember it, because currently we all default to just dreams are nonsense. And you wake up and forget them. And then, if you write down a dream journal, you'll your brain's like oh, okay, you want this information, okay, I'll start hanging on to it. And so the more you remember the dreams, the more likely you are to realize you're dreaming and you can just all day like do something like snap a rubber band on your wrist just every 10 minutes or an hour. Then when you go to sleep you'll have that rubber band on your wrist but you snap it and suddenly you're like, oh, oh, I'm dreaming, I couldn't feel that or whatever. Right that you're spinning top. Yeah, there's a few like tricks to it.
Matt:Clocks don't work. That's another thing with dreams, yeah, and reading. My biggest cue is reading and reading text you look at in a dream.
Eric:you know what it says, but it's gobbledygook.
Tim:When you get, when you go to bed, you also need to go to bed with an intent in intention. So you realize you're dreaming. What next? You? You can't make the decision in the dream.
Eric:You need to have the decision already made so you can get straight to doing. Your brain doesn't hang out in the, in the. Oh shit, I'm doing it. Fate, you're like you go right into task.
Tim:What should I do? What should I do? Boom, you wake up. You said, oh, I want to fly. So, like I'm gonna fly, I want to talk to my somebody, I want to do whatever. Um, so nate, I'd say, is the resident expert of the three of us. Chris and I try, and we have some success remembering dreams, but I've never gone lucid. But nate, he's like he's not bored with it, he's like no, I got lucid all the time. So here's, here's the. The creepy part is he was listening to some dream stuff and so, uh, somebody he was either a podcast or one of the monroe people that he was talking to was like lucid dreaming and was like I'm gonna make everything blue and red and I'm gonna change it. And he was like acting essentially like god in his dream, just changing stuff. And then an old lady tapped on his shoulder and was like we don't like it when you do that.
Eric:This is the shit, I'm here for right oh my, he was like oh.
Tim:So he stopped fucking with his dreams like oh that that is such an outrageously good plot from a tele, a black mirror right, it's not a full movie, but it's a solid 30, 45 minutes of like just getting creeped out. Yeah, wow. So the the sad side of it is nate's lucid dreaming and I'm leaning on him for this is so the three of us. We had a cousin who died when she was 36 from um colon cancer. Oh yeah, and it was tragic. She's had small children. We're still friends. And so nate went lucid one time and he had, he didn't really know what to do, so he's just flying around the woods. And he said he saw this amphitheater in the woods and it was made of stone. So we landed and our cousin was there and she gave him a hug and he said I only have a couple seconds here. And she went, I know, and then just hugged him and then he woke up, oh damn. So that's a good incentive to try to do it right.
Eric:Outside of just, I had a similar, very nice, I had a similar experience with a. Uh, now, granted, I have lucid dreamed before. I've never intentionally. It has always been incidental and exactly like you described. Usually 99 of the time lasts like a couple of seconds before I'm like. I'm like oh, I did it, I'm lucid dreaming, fuck yeah, exactly but, every once in a while, uh, it'll, it'll stick.
Eric:But I have had a dream, uh, a very dear friend of mine. He came up, he was my, my friend, ben. Uh, we were co-workers, we came insanely close. Um, we we created, uh, the improv comedy dnd show that I do at conventions and stuff together. Like we, we devise that together and um, he died, uh during covid. Uh, he got covid, then got pneumonia and then died from pneumonia and it was, like it, tragic.
Eric:But it was like a year or so after his death I had a dream where I was like walking down a street and I turned a corner in like an alley. Ben was standing there and it was one of those weird dream things. You know how you just automatically know something like in a dream. Like you're just like boop. It's in my head. I know, I know this to be true and I knew it to be true that that was actually Ben, that we only had a few seconds to each other and he communicated this without speaking. He was like I. Basically, he was like I can't speak. He was like I can't, like I, like the connection is only is like I'm, you can see me and I'm here with you, but like I'm not gonna be able to talk to you and we just looked at each other and fucking hugged like crazy for a few seconds and then it was done and it was just like a very brief, like fucking love you so much, buddy, and that's crazy, man, yeah it was, and it was just.
Eric:It felt, because I've seen people who have died in dreams before, I've seen, like relatives who have passed and stuff, but like that was the first time. Like in those it was like, oh, I'm dreaming about you, or like, or like, oh, you know, it's a memory and I'm like, I'm convinced, like, like, I've gone back in time, like kind of deal, but that was the first time ever. It was like, oh, I'm talking to ben, like this is bad holy shit, that's great.
Tim:it's kind of it's so important to to have an experience like that, because it kind of opens your mind to like what's possible, oh yeah. And it's also like like that was real, like you actually like you gave your friend a hug and you got to like reassure each other one last time, like your experience carried through to here. So how, how is that not real? How is that not physically something that happened? If you, you can still feel that like sentiment and that like experience to tie into the physical too, which is why I I I'm a hundred percent all in on this stuff and I'm sorry we went from like funny stories to like let's, let's get into it.
Eric:No, this is.
Matt:I'm for this shit. No, let's, let's get into it. This is why we have guests.
Tim:Again. I'm leaning on Nate again on this because the Monroe Institute took him to the next level on a lot of this stuff. But he spent a week there a couple of times so it was worried about health stuff. So when he lucid dream for a while he'd pass his body through a sieve and try to filter out all the bad stuff that is so fucking awesome. He sent us a picture of the skin lesion on his eye and he did that sieve thing, while he was dreaming it was fucking gone the next day, like he got.
Tim:Like maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was timing, but he said he was doing the skin healing thing you know there's always going to be an explanation to someone who who wants there to be one. You know there should be, but the skin is apparently the most separated from our consciousness and the most reactive to it, because it's an organ, it's connected to us but it doesn't react the same as like our feet. We don't have like control over it. Does that explain?
Eric:like cases of stigmata, maybe, yeah, maybe. I mean it feels related.
Tim:That is so fucking cool. So that's also the power of you know the placebo, yeah, the power of like mind over matter here, like if you want to heal yourself, like that's a good place to start, is like meditation. But there's a few of these gurus apparently that meditated the point and lucid dreamed and they could astral project to the point that when they lucid dream they just meditate in their dream. Yes, dream meditation that is like next level, that when they lose a dream they're just meditate in their dream.
Eric:Dream meditation is like next level that that in a, in a few uh in in, I think, I believe, in Tibetan schools of Buddhism, dream meditation and like they they talk about the Bardo and all of that stuff. Um and yeah, like dream meditation is, is a part, uh, an integral part of a few traditions and it's a lot of it aligns up with exactly what you're describing. It's like that, that whole, because they're from the buddhist worldview. They're like everything you perceive is a dream. He's like this is all a dream and like when you're asleep and dreaming you're just in a different kind of dream, like so, so it's like, it's, it's.
Eric:They're like that's how you get to astral projection, stuff like that is like you see the falseness of reality, not meaning that like, like a, like a loose translation would be like miraculous powers, astral projection being outside of your body, healing yourself. Funny enough, their, their, their whole thing is like that's not the goal, like you know. They're like you know we didn't become monks so we could get superpowers, but they're like. But as you get closer to enlightenment or like moving on to the next phase or whatever that is, you'll naturally start to experience these sort of things as you sort of dissociate from phenomenal reality.
Tim:It's it's part of it, though, because the people that can do it say they can, because you have to, um, eliminate your ego. Yeah, so if your goal is to be a superhero and have these superpowers, or to like lucid dream and do whatever you want with whoever we want, or whatever you're doing, it'll never happen.
Tim:Yeah, um, but as soon as you kind of let go and you're like this is what I'm focused on to just be a better person and to understand things better, than suddenly like bloop, like then it clicks, it gets a little woo-woo and it gets a little crazy. There's actually a children's book about astral projection that's called like the children's guide to astral projection something the illustrations, an illustrated guide.
Tim:It's by judy bloom, and it actually has been the most helpful to have all this kind of make sense. Nice and it is, it's completely illustrated in a way to understand it and it's funny and there's like fart jokes and stuff in it or whatever. I mean, if it's for kids, you got to Right and there's. But there's other beings that you may not like, may run into, that are trying to help you. But if you're like, oh, oh, I'm going to run in, if you run into something and you're afraid of it, it's gone Like you're going to snap out of it. So you need to accept it and sort of learn how to communicate without using words is step number one, where you can just sort of project your thoughts or feelings or emotions as, like, this is who I am. I just I'm here for good reasons and if you haven't listened to the telepathy tapes, highly recommend it.
Tim:About the non-verbal, autistic, uh, people around the world that all meet up on a place called the hill, what, and they all, they all know about it. And there's people that have never met each other in real life that are communicating through their parents. They're like, they're non-verbal and what are they called the telepathy tapes? The telepathy tapes is a podcast that will blow your mind. It is. Is somebody a Harvard graduate doing Harvard graduate? Doing objective, single blind studies? Uh, where they're having the nonverbal autistic person like in a completely separate room than their mother and they're like, yeah, I can read my mom's mind and the mom's like, yeah, they can read my mind.
Eric:Um, and the mother will yeah, no big deal, something no big deal it's to them.
Tim:It's no big deal, it's normal, but the mother will look at something and the non-verbal spells it on their board yeah, what she's looking at and the word she's looking at, and it's not like 60 accuracy, 70, 100 accuracy, multiple accounts, so fucking cool. Dozens of people and separately, without talking to each other. They say, yeah, we meet up on this place called the hill and we just talked. That's insane.
Eric:All right, I'm checking, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna be deep diving into this so hard. I have a binged it.
Matt:I did a quick google. I think you might be talking about the children's guide to astral projection by ja holmes. Does?
Tim:that sound right, yeah, yeah, yeah, nate has a physical copy, but that guy, ja Holmes, will let you download the digital copy, it's like, free to whoever wants to read it.
Tim:That's pretty dope man, it's worth reading the telepathy tapes If you're kind of like, oh, this guy was kind of coming up with funny questions and now it turns out he's kind of some creep into these whatever weirdo psycho things. Sorry, go listen to the telepathy tapes and when you get firm, objective evidence that this stuff does exist, you know, maybe come check us out, maybe you change.
Matt:Well, I could talk about this for hours, same and you have on AAL. So before we let you go, I want to ask for somebody who might be like new to not even like cryptozoology or really just myth or these types of things that, against All Oddities, deals with what would be like a good starter starting place, like myth wise or what's the gateway? Down. Yeah, what's the gateway cryptid and what was your gateway cryptid?
Eric:or your gateway oddity.
Matt:To put it in the parlance of your show my gateway cryptid would be my older brother chris.
Tim:Yeah, sure, he was the. So I'll say we, so chris and me and nate. So I'm the youngest, chris is two years older than me and nate is six years older than me and it was, you know, like nate kind of went off to college when I was 12 and he was always like the older brother, and then me and chris. At some point you give up like the older brother, younger brother, picking on each other thing yeah.
Tim:All like his friends were, my friends and my friends were and we actually hung out in high school. But then he went to college and we're all kind of doing our own thing for a while and then kind of reconnected and Chris went off to Boston and then New York and Manhattan and he's in Baton Rouge now. So he was always always if not physically present, like it was holidays and stuff. And so when we reconnected in 2019 and we're like, yeah, maybe we'll just start doing this thing together, me and nate were like I'm into ghosts, I'm into bigfoot, but I don't I don't know if I'm like into it. Like sure, yeah. And chris was like I've been practicing ritual magic for about 10 years and we're like what do you mean? He's like, yeah, I was wearing a ghillie suit and I had a sword and I was going to do like some portal stuff out in the woods in maine and like I saw this ghost dog or whatever.
Matt:And we're like what the fuck are you doing with your life? Why haven't you been telling us about this?
Tim:yeah, I don't know, I was just doing my own thing and so even I thought we were doing our own thing.
Tim:Yeah, he was like you didn't ask like that sort of thing, but like in new york, he would literally take the flyers off of the poles of the crazy people and say meet us behind the laundromat at 2 am. He was like I want to see what that's all about, and so you just go meet up with these weird groups of people doing like spooky stuff, yeah. And then at some point he said he had to like go to a laundromat and they pulled like one of the machines aside and go through the secret door where they're doing stuff. And when they started passing around like the blood cookies, he was like I'm out, yeah. And yeah, his wife was like you need to start telling me the location yeah, I'm gonna dip out at the blood cookies we're right, we're putting an air tag in your necronomicon.
Eric:Yeah, so he was my personal gateway into all this.
Tim:And then nate was like, yeah, there's this thing called hemi sync it's kind of like I've been reading books about it, whatever and then he went to monroe and did all this stuff. So I've been kind of a typical little brother stuff, holding on to their coattails and letting them because I don't have the free time or the money that nate had to just spend a week, yeah, like explore this hands-on.
Tim:His child is an adult and has graduated college at a seven and a ten-year-old, and chris has a, an 18 month old now, but he didn't have kids forever, which is why he was in new york childless and he was in new orleans childless, and so he could just be foot loose and collar free in new orleans like magic central and they had a lot of ghost stories, him and his wife, oh yeah new orleans is haunted as fuck yeah so that was my gateway, but I think if you don't have older brothers doing spooky shit and you want to look into this, there's.
Tim:There's a podcast about an occult historian. It's not about one, it's from one called what magic is this is? It's hosted by this guy, douglas bachelor. He's got hundreds of episodes, um, and you can just scroll through it and just pick something. He did a four series episode on fairies and then he actually and at first I was like, oh listen, that sounds neat. But he had this guy that wrote a couple of novels tying fairy lore into aliens and he called them phalians. Yeah, in a way where you're like that sounds believable when he says it, but is your questions and stuff way where you're like that sounds believable when he says it, because I don't like, but is, oh, you're questioning some stuff, um, uaps and ufos are huge right now and what's the name of this podcast again?
Tim:what magic is this with douglas, bachelor he's got. Yeah, you just scroll through and pick what you want to learn about write them down both eric and listener yeah, oh, he's um he's, um he's canadian, just so you know. Um he's got a cool patreon. Thank you for disclosing that at the top right but the uh. So he's he's very accessible and he has a pretty big name, so it's um worth checking out, nice um. So if you're interested, I'd start there because he approaches it as a historian would.
Matt:Yeah, I mean I'd also argue that your show is a great place to start too, because you guys have some really thought provoking discussions on a variety of these topics. You can, you can certainly start there, but yeah, I wanted to see what your thoughts were on sort of recommendations.
Eric:And I want to say to brag about you, tim, yeah.
Matt:It's your turn now.
Eric:It can be in today's social media meta, where I, if I want to learn about something and social media is trying to teach me whether it's facebook or instagram or I'm listening to a podcast or something I have to wade through so much insincerity like just the the do aliens exist.
Eric:Top 10 pieces of evidence like like this is like the. The will the? Will this give me clicks? Will this get engagement? It's. It's so refreshing and nice and awesome when, when you get to hear someone talk about this stuff from a place of actual, like well-intentioned sincerity, it's like no, this is what I believe in and it is fascinating to me and like I want to share this with people and like that, that that sincerity and that, that, that genuineness is why I think you're fucking awesome.
Matt:Yeah, it shines, it comes through and beyond the show. It certainly it comes through to us from. You know your emails and stuff. Everybody who listens to the show knows. You know your lengthy emails. We get sometimes with like a bunch of questions and I'll tell you right now me and Eric are always like thank God.
Eric:Solid goal Every time. The birth of.
Matt:JG Toesworth Uh, yeah, yeah, uh, that I mean my favorite cryptid, a staple of our show's lore uh came from you, jg Toesworth, and yeah, him from you, jg toes, work and yeah, so we can't thank you enough. You're uh, your other two brothers, uh, well, um well, they, they didn't uh express an interest in being on our show now, did they?
Tim:eric, so I actually. So I talked to them and they brought it up and they're like hey, are we all doing it?
Eric:and I said no, I'm doing it oh well, next time we'll just get all three.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, now that then I take it all back.
Tim:The next time we'll have all three okay, I mean, so they thought I they set it up by selfish. She was like you know what. I started out because I really, like, am a fan of you guys and I love your shows.
Matt:Um, thank you so those two haven't submitted a single question these fucking posers over here, did they at some point?
Tim:you know, all of us do our own thing and they're like kind of the yadaf stuff became my thing. So they're kind of giving me space and so they're probably, but they listen hell yeah, but they're like oh, that's tim's podcast that he listens to, so I don't want to like intrude, but I'm going this is so wholesome I've had. This is so wholesome. I've had my moment, though. I've had my moment with you guys. I will now permit them access to you all.
Matt:You've had your private audience, you've had your private dance in the back, and now we can bring your brothers in.
Tim:We'd be glad to have you guys on our show. Anytime, yes, I'd be glad to come back here Anytime.
Matt:We'd love to do. Against All Oddities, we'll have the whole against all these crew here. Whatever man we've been talking about, we want 2025 to have a substantial uptick in the number of guests episodes.
Eric:We do so like. Yeah sure, we want to connect as many cool human beings as possible if they want to be on the show.
Matt:We'll have you back and now that you're the alpha, yeah, you've established dominance, like yeah, yeah, yes, um, you you've, you've marked your territory. You pissed all over us and belly to the sky belly to wrap things up.
Tim:But, tim, it has been a delight truly talking to you I'm really appreciative that y'all invited me this I need to point out one thing real quick nate owns a business yeah, plug your shit he recently. He well, I can't. I I mean, he does power distribution for server farms, so I don't know if it's really like leader tech solutions, right.
Tim:So here's a weird thing. He just signed a contract with big business somewhere in the midwest, okay, and when he signed a contract with them which is like big dollar, big business, like adult stuff somewhere in there, it had a character clause and he is worried that talking about cryptid and ritual magic and uh stuff could technically like offend somebody and he could lose a lot of money based on their subjective response to that so.
Matt:Is that why you've hidden the episodes?
Tim:so to ensure his livelihood, we have currently hidden all but one or two of our episodes. We have 72 episodes and they will come back in a couple of weeks, but until this sort of is well defined as what a character clause means, yeah, you just sort of like this contract kind of falls through with whatever it needs to like happen, it's all good. We're like you know what, nate, your livelihood is more important than our content, so we'll just tuck it away from good looking out good looking out, but you do got the last two uh, two month episodes and it's on.
Tim:I think the last one's on shadow work and it's our least funny episode per uh quote from nate, because it literally is about how to uh try to make yourself a better person.
Eric:So if you're interested, we're out there and if anyone finds offense to that, I don't know what to tell yeah, so where?
Matt:where can they find you? Uh, where can they get your stuff?
Tim:so dorf youcom, d-o-r. Sorry, d-o-r-f-y-o-ucom. We sell paranormal insurance, but currently the price of it is an email of any sort with a mailing address on it to wizard at dorfewcom and we will send you paranormal insurance, plus or minus a coin, plus or minus other stuff. I sent Matt explosives.
Matt:I was just going to say you plus or minus me, plus or minus other stuff. I sent matt explosives. I was just gonna say you plus or minus me. So with the ferengi. Well, you did, you sent me the ferengi.
Tim:He's right back there actually quark is he's right over here uh the uh, the um, along with the fireworks that you sent me so I feel a need to explain that it was brought up on your discord that the reason I have a ferengi action figure was to blow it up and relive some child experiences, and so when it was offered to you, I felt a need to throw some m80s in the boxes.
Matt:For sure, so I got those red-blooded american but hey, I'll say this you gave me like a, gave me like a proper plastic card for my insurance, which I thought was the coolest fucking shit. So thank you for that.
Tim:Yeah, so it's Astral Roadside Assistance, werewolf stuff, all this ghost insurance, and if you provide any sort of evidence we will provide some sort of abatement. And the only person to turn it in so far is Jeremy from the Neatcast and he did receive abatement for a ghost, you know good on you, jare.
Matt:Well, tim. Unfortunately, we got to wrap things up here, but this has truly been a delight, so, uh, as for us. You can find uh us obviously you already have, but you can find us. Obviously you already have, but you can find us on social media youdontaskforthisgmailcom, at youdontaskpod, at all the places I'm doing the micro business for you there. Poach, join the Patreon patreoncom. Slash youdontaskforthis. That's good. Get some discounts on our merch at youdontaskforthiscom slash shop and also the bonus episodes of Oops.
Eric:All Tangents.
Matt:Call the thought line 410-929-5329 and yeah, also go listen to against all oddities.
Eric:Go listen to against all oddities. You will have such a good time it's out there.
Matt:They got those two episodes and then you're gonna get those other ones back up there for everybody. Get the backlog bring back the weird, bring back the weird so from all of us here, that you didn't ask for this. My name, that's man she my name is eric poach and you didn't ask for this. No, your name is oh I loved that, though my name is tim, you didn't ask for them but eric
Eric:uh, but so I was gonna ask about a couple of things we stumbled into it so hard he didn't have any clue it was coming no, I know it was great, uh, no, but I was, uh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use this time I'm gonna yield my normal end of episode bit time to just to just ask some questions. Tim, are you familiar with the artist ingo swan?
Tim:that I recognize the name, but I can't think of what visual artist is installed in the avam in baltimore.
Eric:Uh wrote books on astral projection. Also like talked a lot about how uh, astral projection, stuff like this none of like the research or anything like how there is the legitimate research on it and none of it ever gets any like press or publication because the the world governments are terrified of people ever knowing that they have these abilities. And also brilliant artist. The cosmic egg by ingo swan is a gorgeous painting. It's my girlfriend's favorite, um, and yeah, that's it. I was just been killing me the whole time. I was like whatever he knows about, it goes. What?
Tim:did I just google? I recognize his art.
Matt:Yeah, while you were saying that, I googled it very quickly good recommendation for you, and indeed the audience, to end this episode. Thank you.