You Didn't Ask For This
You Didn't Ask For This
105 | Haunted Into Empathy
Come in and know him better, man! Instead of another Christmas Definitive Ranking, this year we're bringing you The Bah Humbug Bracket: 32 Scrooges facing off in a battle royale to see who will be the final Scrooge standing.
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Last night, alyssa asked me something that has been living rent-free in my head and I now must release it.
Matt:Ooh, an exciting moment, Would you say. She popped the question.
Eric:Oh my God, the wedding's in June. Now, what she asked me were those words that every guy wants to hear. Oh yeah, what would be the best and worst movies to recreate in the Rankin-Bask claymation Christmas style? Huh yeah, that's, that's there it is.
Matt:Oh, oh, yes, Of course, you, you know that classic question fantasy. Uh, okay, okay. So best and worst, um, okay, so you're talking.
Eric:Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer claymation style here without a santa claus. Santa santa is coming to town absolutely. Like what movies would be the best and worst to see done in that style?
Matt:Okay, all right. Well, I feel like kids' movies in general automatically rise to the top of the best.
Eric:Oh sure, but if we want to be dramatic.
Matt:are we looking for like adult movie, adult motion picture? Now, when you say adult, you know what I mean.
Eric:Oh okay, talking about pornography? No, but like a film, yeah.
Matt:Oh, instead of saying oh, I don't know Shrek as a claim. Actually, that's pretty banging.
Eric:Yeah, shrek would make a banger Okay instead of like Frozen. Yeah, shipwreck would make a banger Okay instead of Frozen.
Matt:I could take Frozen, okay, so instead of Frozen, something more like Leon the. Professional.
Eric:Now you understand Leon the Professional in claymation style Could be great, just a little claymation style could be great just I'll tell you a little little little, uh, uh, claymation everyone I'll put my own, my own thing, out there. I think back to the future could be fun claymation I would kill to see the entire extended lord of the rings trilogy in claymation I'd die.
Matt:I think I'd kill myself uh okay, let's pepper in some worse oh yeah, let's just get it out of the way right now. Schindler's list. I thank you.
Eric:That was that was the first answer.
Matt:I was like, oh worse, schindler's list it's, it's immediately, does not is the worst.
Eric:Yeah, immediately oh man, um, oh, fucking, uh. You know what might become more palpable?
Matt:um requiem for a dream requiem is a of a dream.
Eric:Yes, that would be bad parts of that movie actually might be more palatable in clay um saw, saw, saw, saw kind of loses some oomph.
Matt:It loses a little oomph. But you know you gotta make all that blood In Claymation as well. Oh, poor Gumby. Um the. I don't know why I cast Gumby In. I just assumed the Carrie Uluwuz role.
Eric:Oh man, okay. Okay, it's Saw, but it's Gumby and pokey uh that's pretty great.
Matt:Yeah uh, princess bride, claymation could be fun princess bride.
Eric:Claymation could slap. Maybe we?
Matt:should stick to one category first, like let's think of some bests. Okay, some bests. Kill bill. Yeah, kill bill could be fun. Bill would rule and kill bill would be a good time. I'm seeing some scenes from the big lebowski translate oh, that would be amazing that that'd be pretty dope big lebowski. Okay, what if we took one of the muppets movies?
Eric:and did it how meta and did it claim oh my god, that's pretty meta, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, uh, fucking. Muppet treasure island and claymation, yes, yes, are we counting, like the dark crystal in this? Sure?
Matt:why not labyrinth?
Eric:labyrinth.
Matt:Claymation would be dope what about something like a um not evil dead. What's? What am I trying?
Eric:army of darkness no army of darkness. Claymation is it's practically already a claymation movie. Dead alive is dead alive also known as brain dead.
Matt:Uh, one of the best, worst movies ever made by Peter Jackson.
Eric:Oh, my God Matt.
Matt:Yes.
Eric:It's also a Christmas movie. It's one of our favorite Christmas movies Jingle All the Way. Jingle All the Way is good.
Matt:That would be a fun fucking time.
Eric:That would be a grand old time.
Matt:If we're keeping it, is that the secret? Do we have to keep it Christmas adjacent? Do we, for the purpose of this, keep it to Christmas movies. In that case, what about the Santa Claus Ooh?
Eric:the Santa Claus would. All the Santa Claus is basically already there. It's just got to be Claymation that I think could be you like how I? Said that like oh yeah, it's basically already there, you just have to do all the most laborious, time intensive, yes, important part.
Matt:If we're keeping it to christmas, I think that's a good pick yeah, I, I'd agree with that and similarly, if we're keeping it to christmas, what rises to the top for me, say, is it's a wonderful life it's oh man for bad for for the bad, for the worst low-key love that.
Eric:How about can I hit you with christmas?
Matt:shoes. Of course that's got to be in the conversation.
Eric:Uh, christmas prince, oh, christmas prince yeah, because I feel like it takes that would just that would truly just be bad like it would be awful because it gets rid of all the reasons. Anyone is watching it, which is the beautiful, beautiful actors well, it's just, yeah, it's just.
Matt:It wouldn't be entertaining to watch in claymation. You know, like, yeah is what I'm thinking. Yeah, so what would be well, in a way, I guess that is the worst, it's just not funny.
Eric:Yeah, it loses its redeeming qualities, which are the beautiful people that have been cast in that movie.
Matt:Yes, yes. What other Christmas movies need to? Be Miracle on 34th Street, but I feel like that would be good.
Eric:Bro, I've got a new contender for best.
Matt:Oh, for best, for best okay die hard die hard. I think's a candidate for worse die hard, amazing claymation.
Eric:Are you kidding me?
Matt:I don't know. I don't know that I agree little, little clay hans gruba I don't know that I agree go splat well, okay, there is something about seeing him splat in claymation.
Eric:Yeah, the claymation violence would sell it so hard for me.
Matt:Okay, well, all right, if we slot that in there.
Eric:Like a little clay Bruce Willis crawling through broken glass.
Matt:Yes, with just little red streaks on his little feet.
Eric:And you know, like fucking oh, who's the guy who plays the cop on the outside? Uh, something wilson car. What you are quoting is carl winslow from home and from um family matters oh, yeah, but it is the same actor who is yeah, who, okay, okay, reginald johnson, who famously has been back in the news for may or may not, have had sexual relations with Diddy.
Matt:Oh great, you didn't hear about this.
Eric:No.
Matt:It was huge news, dude. Allegedly there's a sex tape of Diddy having sex with Reginald Val Johnson.
Eric:Dude, this is the weirdest fucking timeline. Yeah, matt's eyes just did the Rankin-Bass claymation like spinning in their sockets and like, oh, that's crazy talk.
Matt:Yeah, I was just trying to find something to rescue the end of this cold open. Is what I was trying to do, really Just trying to rope in some joke somewhere.
Eric:Looking for the first exit off that bit highway, exact amount.
Matt:And oh, what is this? It looks like it's coming up right here, oh, opening V. Let me just take a big veer to the right. Well, hello everybody and Merry Christmas. This is you Didn't Ask For this the podcast answering life's least pressing questions. My name's Matt Shea, my name is Matt Shea, my name is Eric Poach, and it is time for our annual Christmas themed episode. Yes, it feels honestly like we just recorded the last one of these, but here we are again, time ever becoming more of an illusion.
Eric:We are.
Matt:Yes, so we are again. Time ever becoming more of an illusion. We are, yes, so we are back. We're going to jump right in and, eric, we're going to do something a little different this time. Oh my.
Eric:God yeah. So normally we do a definitive ranking or at least we have Something Christmas related. We've done the reindeer.
Matt:We've done the reindeer. We've done the 12 days of Christmas. We've done the reindeer. We've done the reindeer, we've done the 12 days of Christmas. We've done the island of misfit toys. This year we were thinking of doing another one, but we were doing a little twist oh, that was.
Eric:I don't know if you were going for that for that joke, but it's very layered joke. Is twist going for that for that joke? But it's very layered joke because twist, oliver twist, written by charles dickens, who also wrote a christmas carol, which brings us to the topic of today's ranking, ebenezer scrooges ebenezer scrooges.
Matt:You know him, you love him, also hate him. Yeah, famous villain turned human being, turned bare minimum of deced. Bare minimum of decency, bare minimum of decency in the heartwarming story of a capitalist billionaire being tortured into caring for others, haunted into empathy Haunted into empathy, so we're going to be ranking the Scrooges, but not as portrayed by various actors actually we're not well, I'm getting there oh, I'm so sorry eric, we're gonna be.
Eric:We're gonna be ranking these scrooges as portrayed by various actors, characters. What have you every so much ever? If you're wondering, like is ken so and so everything's on the table, we we put out a poll for people's favorite Scrooges.
Matt:A little last minute Some people did respond. Of course, we also asked the discord go to patrioncom, so she didn't ask for this to join our Patreon and our discord. We asked our loyalists, the you daft, loyalists, the you daft giants to weigh in Daft loyalists.
Eric:Get on the right side of history.
Matt:Hey, January 20th is coming up, man, so we got to get our party in order so the survivors can find each other. Now, the Anything that was suggested we've put in. But instead of just doing a definitive ranking, we decided to do something a little bit different.
Eric:We will be ranking them on deadliness okay, we're gonna.
Matt:What we did is we put them in a bracket. Battle royale, baby.
Eric:Put them in a battle royale battle royale the, the, the bah hum rumble, the bah hum bug bracket, the bah hum bug bracket. That it's the bah hum bug bracket, yep, the.
Matt:Bah Hum, rumble, the Bah Hum.
Eric:Bug Bracket.
Matt:The Bah Hum Bug Bracket. That is the Bah Hum Bug Bracket. Yep, that's what we're doing, and so we did a halfsies of the March Madness style bracket. We got 32 different Scrooges for you here. Some of them you know, some of them, you love. Some of them. You're going to be like what the fuck? I had no idea they played Scrooges for you here. Some of them you know, some of them you love. Some of them. You're going to be like what the fuck? I had no idea they played.
Eric:Scrooge Correct. Neither did we.
Matt:Neither did we until we went to the Ebenezer Scrooge wiki page and jotted their names down. All right, so let's jump right in. So what we've done for this initial seeding is we've gone opposite sides chronologically Of the time-space continuum.
Eric:So, earliest Scrooges versus the newest Scrooges, new blood versus old guard.
Matt:And then they sort of meet in the middle, at the end of the bracket. So let us begin with Richard John Smith. Now, Richard John Smith Eric, I had to educate myself was the very first actor to portray Ebenezer Scrooge period. He did so in 1844, mere weeks after the novella A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens was published, and the theater production was a Christmas Carol or past, present and future, and while there were other plays of A Christmas Carol released basically at the same time, this was the first Charles Dickens sanctioned production. So really, first official portrayal goes to Richard John Smith.
Eric:With the Chucky Dix seal of approval.
Matt:Why do you got to do this, Eric?
Eric:Do what, do what? Evolve the language, chucky.
Matt:Oh I'm sorry, create culture.
Eric:Chucky Dix is evolving the language, chucky Dix is so avant-garde and up here he goes up against luke evans luke evans, who uh portrayed bard in the hobbit trilogy.
Matt:Okay, yes also ebenezer scrooge in scrooge a christmas carol. The animated musical on I believe, believe Netflix came out in 2022. So that's what we've got up first. That's our first bracket. Eric, weigh in please. Who do you think? Advances?
Eric:I think it's got to be RJS.
Matt:Okay, so you think it's RJS.
Eric:I think it's RJS, because I'm looking at his wiki page.
Matt:Yes.
Eric:Also worth noting. Not only was he the first to play Ebenezer Scrooge, he was among the first to play Frankenstein's monster on stage. So this dude is huge.
Matt:This dude is big A certified legend, yeah, a certified legend, and so I think it's only right for the first portrayer of Ebenezer Scrooge to at least make it to the next round.
Eric:Oh, absolutely. He's got that Victorian era hardiness to him.
Matt:These people were putting lead in everything Speaking of which that brings us to our next bracket candidate, which is one of the greatest actors of all time, Lionel Barrymore, from the world-famous Barrymore family, of course. Now Barrymore portrayed Ebenezer Scrooge sort of off and on in A Christmas Carol, an annual radio broadcast between 1934 and 1953. There were a few breaks in there. I bet you can guess which years there were breaks. Yeah, but he did do that.
Eric:We can't afford to have Charles Dickens sorry, chucky Dick's annual ghost story. We have to ration it for the war effort.
Matt:And when, looking this up earlier, I did learn that there were two years in which he was substituted, one by his very famous brother, john Barrymore, and once by none other than Orson Welles. So this absolute powerhouse.
Matt:Yeah, it's not only him, but you also get John and you also get Orson Welles in an annual production beloved on the radio, I'm sure, during a very tumultuous time in world history, truly, yes, and he's going up against Will Ferrell, will Ferrell, will Ferrell from Spirited, also released in 2022. And I'll be honest with you, eric, although I was aware of Spirited, with Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell coming out, I did not realize he was playing Scrooge, nor I. I think that says something.
Eric:I think that says something, but I think this also says something. I think Will Ferrell's got reach. I think he says something. I think that says something, but I think this also says something. I think Will Ferrell's got reach. I think he's got reach on Lionel Barrymore. This is a battle.
Matt:This is a battle, and what we can say about these two is we can see Will Ferrell's portrayal. We can only hear and imagine the portrayal of Lionel Barrymore.
Eric:Yeah yeah, lionel Barrymore might have that voice on lock, but Will Ferrell's bringing physicality to the role, that I just don't, I don't know, do we give it?
Matt:I think we give it to Will Ferrell I think Will Ferrell takes it.
Eric:He's got the the that reach is going to carry Will Ferrell through these brackets.
Matt:Absolutely.
Eric:Now that brings us to uh alistair sim alistair sim who is, in case anyone was curious, the best portrayal of ebenezer scrooge, now alistair sim is actually on this bracket twice now.
Matt:This first one is from the 1951 film scrooge, as it was released in across the pond there, or just plain old A Christmas Carol here in the United States. So Scrooge slash A Christmas Carol. He will appear in just a minute again in the 1971 animated A Christmas Carol, so he'll be back. But we're specifically talking about the Scrooge version versus Guy Pearce from the 2019 BBC miniseries A Christmas Carol. Eric, this is obvious, don't you think? Alistair Simp? It's Alistair Simp. I mean, don't get me wrong, guy Pearce is a tough man, but I would not. I didn't know about guy pierce's portrayal until we began gathering these names yeah, alistair's.
Eric:If you look at I need to find the picture of alistair sim, but it's like him like fucking like 1920s, like he looks like a hard-boiled detective yes, yeah, like, or a divorced dad or a divorced dad, both of whom have nothing to lose.
Matt:Oh, I don't know that that's true about the divorced dad. Nothing more to lose. Sorry, that's that word I think they have one thing to lose? Yep they have one thing left to lose, and that's custody, and so, so he's gonna be fighting like a that.
Eric:But that's what I'm getting at is alistair sim is gonna be fighting like a man who's trying to like, look strong for his children. Guy pierce cannot come up against that, sure. Sure, because who's gonna to look strong for his children? Guy Pearce cannot come up against that, sure.
Matt:Sure, because who's going to divorce Guy Pearce? He will ruin Guy Pearce. Has Guy Pearce been divorced?
Eric:Nobody's divorcing Guy Pearce. Look at him, he's gorgeous. Alistair Simm he's hard-boiled. He's hard-boiled.
Matt:He's a chestnut, he's a hard man and that's what you want out of his. That's what you want out of a Scrooge. And also Kate Mestitz, mestitz. Kate Mestitz, m-e-s-t-i-t-z.
Eric:Mestitz, it's the emphasis on the tits.
Matt:Kate.
Eric:Mestitz. See you gotta, you could Mestitz.
Matt:That is the answer to the question of who would divorce Guy Pearce. She did so in 2015.
Eric:Damn.
Matt:Okay, so there's your answer to that, it's Alistair. Sim, it's Alistair. Sim, it's Alistair, sim.
Eric:Thank you.
Matt:Okay, so now coming up next we have Jim Backus as Mr Magoo, as Ebenezer Scrooge, as Ebenezer Scrooge in Mr Magoo's Christmas Carol, released in 1962. I happen to know this is my dad's favorite portrayal of Ebenezer Scrooge because he told me so last Christmas and we watched this is true three different versions in a row of A Christmas Carol, one of which was Mr Magoo. Yeah, so that's Mr Magoo versus George Lopez as Grouchy Smurf in the Smurfs Christmas Carol from 2011.
Eric:So we've got another To give you an idea of how far we reached we, and by we I mean Matt. The bucket is deep friends.
Matt:It is the bucket for people who have played Sprooge is deep.
Eric:So, matt, I'm not going to lie. I have an impulse, I have like an instant eric, I think you better tell me what it is. Dog, it's mr magoo, man has plot, armor it's got, he's got that nearsightedness plot armor that, just like that. That grouchy smurf I don't think is going to be able to step to. He's also got again reach. Grouchy smurf is a smurf. Mr magoo is a human yeah, a hundred mr magoo could inadvertently decimate the smurf population several times over, not even realize it's happening.
Matt:Yeah, I I completely agree with you. Well, why don't we cut the bullshit and just give it to mr magoo right now? Jim backus is mr magoo, you're my goddamn right. Okay, now our next, our next one, eric, is a pretty heavyweight bracket. Uh, I'm not gonna lie. I'm looking at names. We've got albert finney as scrooge in the film scrooge from 1971, versus michael gamb Holy shit, as Kazran Sardik from the Christmas Carol episode of Doctor who. Oh, I know, oh my God, in 2010. Now these are two infamous English actors. Yep, I was just checking to see if they were both knighted. It doesn't look like albert finney actually was. Let's see about michael gambit, who's irish, actually didn't mean to make that mistake, um cbe. So he, uh, he is not knighted. Is that a knight? Uh, let's see. That's most excellent order of the british empire. I don't think that's a's Most Excellent Order of the British Empire. I don't think that's a sir, though.
Eric:Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the Five.
Matt:Clans. No, it is Sir Michael Gambon. It says it right there.
Eric:Okay, so Michael has Albert Finney absolute powerhouse.
Matt:Absolute powerhouse.
Eric:Michael Gambon has the might of the British Empire behind him, might of the.
Matt:British Empire. Behind him he's first of all Albert Finney is. His resume speaks for itself, but so does Michael Gambon's.
Eric:I'll also point out I've seen this episode of Doctor who. It's wild. He also has the power of a Time Lord on his side.
Matt:And I have not seen Albert Finney's Scrooge, I will admit.
Eric:I think this goes to Gambit.
Matt:I think this goes to Gambit, because who are we to deny Dumbledore?
Eric:I truly JK Rowling might suck a whole bunch of dog shit.
Matt:Let's not get into the whole JK Rowling situation.
Eric:Not on Christmas, not on Christmas, not on Christmas. What did I say?
Matt:It's Michael Gambit, it's Michael Gambon, it's Michael Gambon. Now, all right, so that brings us to Alistair Sim. He's back, he's back.
Eric:He's back, but this time he's animated. He's back.
Matt:He's a cartoon. He's a cartoon and that is, of course, from the animated film A Christmas Carol from 1971. And he will be going up against Catherine.
Eric:Tate, Eric Catherine Tate as Nan Famous British comedian, famous Doctor who companion.
Matt:Yes, also was a cast member of the Office for the last two seasons. Yes, in 2009,. This is nan's christmas carol. She played nan playing scrooge in uh in nan's christmas carol 2009 versus uh, alistair sim again. I think this might be alistair sim again, though, eric I, so here's so here's.
Eric:here's where I'm at. Alistair Sim animated does have cartoonish physics on his side. True, he is actually old.
Matt:Yes.
Eric:Catherine.
Matt:Tate is not.
Eric:Catherine Tate is not. Catherine Tate is also fierce, like Catherine. Tate is someone you could not pay me to fight. I feel like she could kick my ass any day of the week. Yeah, and let's not forget.
Matt:This is actually 20 years after Alistair Simms' other portrayal.
Eric:And he was old then.
Matt:He was old then, so no wonder he's only doing the voice now. Yeah, so I think if we're keeping this to a combat bracket, I think Nan is going to win this.
Eric:I think even assuming we're like we're treating katherine tate as like that age of her character, I think she still kicks the shit out of alistair sim.
Matt:Okay, now that brings us to a very interesting next bracket, which is marcel marceau from 1973, the world famous mime yep. Marcel marceau versus and I didn't know this until I was putting this together matthew mcconaughey as connor dutch mead in ghosts of girlfriends, past from 2009, do you?
Eric:know what you gotta. You gotta look out for, for that backhand on McConaughey. He got a lot of power Because when he fights it's all rights, all rights, all rights. He just throws them. Very good, eric. Very good.
Matt:Now, I didn't know Ghosts of Girlfriends passed. I did not know that it was adapted from A Christmas Carol. That is by itself hysterical to me, but I do like the image of Marcel Marceau in a fight period. I think he's getting his ass kicked by McConaughey.
Eric:So yeah, marcel Marceau is bringing a lot. He's got a lot of mime trickery in in the 100 in the pocket. But then you have matthew mcconaughey who's like, uh, like a welterweight, just fucking like. I've seen matthew mcconaug we all have. I think he's taking this one.
Matt:He's taking this one. I'm putting him up there as Connor Dutchmead. Now our next bracket Eric, we've got Walter Matthau versus. Jim Carrey. Walter Matthau played him in the Stingiest man in Town in 1978. Stingiest man in town in 1978, uh and um, jim carrey, of course, played him in the, also the third 2009 adaptation of a christmas carol with a creepy polar express yes, cgi version.
Eric:uh, so I'll say this Walter Maddow legend, of course, but also subscribes to the Babe Ruth school of fitness, which is he looks like. He subsists purely on scotch and eating cigars.
Matt:I mean sure he's a very tall, lanky man. He's not stocky like Babe Ruth, if that's what you're getting at. No, like the jowl region of the face. Yes, he is a jowly man, possibly the jowliest man who ever lived truly.
Eric:Uh, jim carrey is a wild card. He's. Jim carrey is a wild card.
Matt:He, I, I, I and I think that can't be discounted I think his animated version in particular has a level of energy yes, that will will beget to violence.
Eric:He, he's a, he's like that. He's a real sinewy scrooge like that like that, like the kind you don't want to fight because, like you're not, you just keep bouncing back up.
Matt:I think I hate to. It feels disrespectful disrespectful for Walter Matthau to lose in the first round, but I do think Jim Carrey's version takes it. I think Carrey takes it. I think Carrey takes it. Now that'll bring us on down to our next grouping. That's Henry Winkler as Benedict Slade in an American Christmas Carol from 1979, versus Jonathan Winters. Now this one was submitted Jonathan Winters of Christmas Carol from 2004. This was submitted to us as a runner up to this person's first choice.
Eric:What was their first choice? Their first choice was Sir, their person their first choice.
Matt:Their first choice was sir michael k who. Uh who, we don't worry he's currently warming up.
Eric:He's getting he's, he's, he's in the, he's in the bullpen, he's in the bullpen he's warming up, he knows he knows what's coming.
Matt:Yeah, he knows he's got a fight coming up, so don't worry, we're getting to him. Uh, but uh, jonathan winter's christmas carol was somewhat more than just 2004. It seems like it was a long running series of him playing scrooge. I had to look all this up and he's going against the fums. Yes, in 1978.
Eric:So henry winkler, still somewhat young, here, okay so, yeah, this is what is because, like jonathan winters, looks like the kind of guy like, looks slow, but it looks like he only needs to make one, like he only one of his hits need to connect, yeah, to completely body you yeah, like if jake paul and mike tyson actually fought.
Matt:This is. This is the one punch from tyson that would have ended it winkler scrooge looks very frail, are you looking him up? They, they did so much work to make him old when he was not yeah, he looks so old, but the thing is, he's not.
Eric:So under the hood that is like a V8, Fonz.
Matt:Let's just do this real quick.
Eric:Haunting the Winkler Scrooge Okay.
Matt:Eric. Yeah, eric, give it to me, my calculations are correct. Henry Winkler portrayed Scrooge at age 34 in this film. Ooh, so he was heavily, heavily made up. Oh yeah, henry Winkler is 79 now.
Eric:And live in his best life.
Matt:I mean mean truly, barry was an incredible show.
Eric:So so this is so. This is where I'm torn. So henry winkler is definitely going to have youth going for him. Secret youth, secret youth. He's got the secret font of youth within his bones but he is technically playing benedict slade, he's playing benedict slade it's an adaptation. He's not old old, old, old man he's scrooge, but not technically, technically, I'll also say this henry winkler, by all accounts, is an absolute gem. Cinnamon roll of a human being, of course he is, so I think I think winters could take this.
Matt:Winters looks like he's been in fights. I think winters takes this and and I'm happy to give it to him yeah, I think this will be.
Eric:I think this will go very much the mountain versus the sand, like the the sand viper the viper versus the mountain. Yes, this is how this could go, yeah.
Matt:Now up next we have Mel Blanc, specifically as Yosemite Sam in A Bug's Bunny Christmas Carol also from 1979, versus Kelsey Grammer in a made-for-TV musical version of A Christmas Carol that came out in 2004. You know, obviously I've got a little bit of Frasier bias.
Eric:You got a little Frasier bias. Yosemite Sam's gots a gun.
Matt:He's got guns, but you know, so does Kelsey Grammer.
Eric:if we're being honest, yeah, what Kelsey Grammer does? He have firearms.
Matt:Kelsey Grammer, the gigantic raging republican. Yes, I'm sure he has firearms oh, he's probably got fire.
Eric:Yeah, but like in terms of this kelsey grammar, as scrooge brought a cane to a gunfight he did and and a hell of a scowl oh, my god, one god, one hell of a scowl.
Matt:I do think yosemite sam it's gonna be that scene from indiana jones where you've got the sword dancer doing his big old trickery and then indy just fucking caps him. Yep, and I think that's what's happening here. I think it's Yosemite Sam specifically.
Eric:Yes, yosemite, sam takes it Yosemite.
Matt:Scrooge, yosemite Scrooge. Here's where we get interesting Eric. Next up we have Carol Spinney as Oscar the Grouch from A Special Sesame Street Christmas in both 1979 and 2006.
Eric:Who the fuck else are you going to get to play Scrooge?
Matt:I mean truly.
Eric:In your Sesame Street adaptation.
Matt:Versus Vanessa Williams from A Diva's Christmas Carol in 2000. I mean there's going to be some serious blows thrown from Vanessa Williams and Oscar. The Grouch is technically stuck in a trash can.
Eric:He has the trash can armor has the trash can armor. Yeah, he can retreat into that like a hermit crab. That's going to give him some significant advantage Vanessa is going to have cannot stress this enough reach is going to have cannot stress this enough reach. She's gonna have reach, but I think, when you think about oscar, we haven't really seen oscar fight. No, he's a, he's a, he's a growler, not a fighter.
Matt:But we know the rage that boils inside of oscar he.
Eric:There will be something unlocked within him. Yes, and it don't get truly.
Matt:I mean, when you're talking about Scrooge, you're talking about one of the grouchiest people. Who better to portray him than Oscar the grouch? That is so fucking true, it's going to be Oscar, my guy.
Eric:I think Oscar the grouch takes. I think Oscar is going to go far. I think Oscar.
Matt:I think we've got to give it to oscar over vanessa. I know we're doing combat, I know we're doing who's gonna win in the fight and I think that's questionable. But we got to give something to who is the better scrooge, and there's no way vanessa williams is a better scrooge than oscar the grouch no, she's especially in her portrayal in a diva's Christmas.
Eric:It's definitely like a much more like cold and callous kind of Scrooge energy she's bringing. But Oscar has that raw. You know he's going to Ebenezer all over my Scrooge.
Matt:I believe you are correct and for that reason, carol Spinney, as Oscar the Grouch moves on Yep. Next up, alan Young, who portrayed Scrooge McDuck. There he is, folks. If you were worried. He's here Specifically in Mickey's Christmas Carol in 1983, versus and this is a big one Patrick Stewart from Christmas Carol in 1999. And I feel like Patrick Stewart's Christmas Carol was like one of my defining Christmas carols.
Eric:Oh, I mean, like truly, you have two behemoths of Christmas Carol culture.
Matt:It's true, scrooge McDuck, one of the most recognizable Scrooges of all time in and outside of a Christmas Carol universe, yes, but so is Patrick Stewart. I mean, that was a big adaptation when we were growing up, I think. Oh yeah, it was for me anyway.
Eric:Patrick Stewart is going to have his training with the Royal Shakespeare Company. He has experience with Rapier and Dagger. He has this very strong foundation of character development. He will truly embody Scrooge, scrooge, but Scrooge McDuck.
Matt:we cannot discount his fitness routine, which includes swimming through solid gold coins, and he can have endless bags of those gold coins that he can then use as a weapon. The finite.
Eric:Scrooge, scrooge McDuck is, of everyone on this roster, the wealthiest of the Scrooges.
Matt:I think that's true. He has a water tower full of money.
Eric:I think Forbes ranked him as the wealthiest fictional character, maybe second only to Richie Rich.
Matt:I think let's fucking give it to fucking Scrooge McDuck.
Eric:I'm sorry.
Matt:Sir Patrick Stewart. Sir Patrick this guts me. It guts me. You're one of my nostalgic Scrooges that I would watch on TNT, yeah, for years on end, but you have been eliminated Scrooge.
Eric:McDuckin and Weaven all over Patrick Stewart.
Matt:Absolutely Now. Next we have George C Scott from the 1984 version of A Christmas Carol versus Jack Palance. Verse from Ebenezer, a made for TV movie Western from 1997, because of course it was for Jack Palance. George C Scott was also submitted to us as someone's runner-up, so I have to say this is a bit of a bro-y matchup. Jack Palance, a very famous actor from the golden age of Hollywood onward. You might know him best as Curly from City Slickers.
Matt:Oh yeah, eric it so offends me that you don't know who jack palance is buddy, I'm sorry.
Eric:I'm on his wikipedia page right now. Yeah, I'm. I'm taking the time to do my research and educate myself, you do know who george c scott is, though right yes, dog. Yes, I know george c scott name a movie oh, dude, don't do this to me not during the christmas episode name the film uh, I'm gonna name. Uh, I mean, he was in 12 angry men, right?
Matt:he might have been.
Eric:Let me check I I I was you getting ready to talk so much shit patent.
Matt:Patton, Dr Strange love. Like you could have just gone on and on Cause every time I see, I picture his face, I see it. Yes, you are correct.
Eric:Oh, was he in 12 Angry Men? No Damn, I was so ready to get tell you go fuck yourself on our Christmas episode. Oh, he was in Rescuers Down Under, was he? Oh was he. Was he the bad guy? Yeah, he played the fucking evil Australian poacher in Rescuers Down Under. That is the entire touchstone of George C Scott to my childhood.
Matt:Oh, Eric, George C Scott was in 12 Angry Men.
Eric:Oh, matt, merry Christmas, go fuck yourself.
Matt:The 1997 made forfor-TV movie.
Eric:And that's the one I watched, that one. Cut your dick off, eric. Go, fuck yourself, matthew.
Matt:I love you. No, you don't get to tell me to go fuck myself.
Eric:I was right, you are spinning.
Matt:No, you're not right, Debra. Did you eat my eggs?
Eric:Do you know? That's a quote from Rescuers Down Under by George C Scott. I can quote George C Scott. Can you Give me a George C Scott quote right now? That's what I fucking thought.
Matt:I hate you.
Eric:I love you.
Matt:All right, all right, we'll leave it at that. Jack Palance versus.
Eric:George C Scott.
Matt:I think Georgieie c takes it I was gonna say I don't particularly care for either one of these portrayals, so let's just give it to georgie scott they, they step into the arena, they have a quick chat, they, they, they, they share a cigarette.
Eric:And then george is like I'll take it. So that's that.
Matt:Next we have a true heavyweight of the 80s.
Eric:This is huge Matchup.
Matt:We have Bill Murray as Frank Cross in Scrooged 1988 versus Tim Curry, an animated musical adaptation of A Christmas Carol from 1997. Yep Now.
Eric:I don't know.
Matt:I don't know about this, Eric, you there boy what day is this? Was that your, tim Curry?
Eric:That was an attempt.
Matt:Nice.
Eric:So the Bill Murray, I mean, he's not a Scrooge, he's a frank cross.
Matt:Technically, that's true, he's frank cross, but he is, he is spiritually, he's spiritually purposes the scrooge of the film 100, even though there is a scrooge in the film within a film I'll say this bill murray spends most of that movie getting his ass kicked by other people. True, that's true, and constantly getting his shit kicked in, and Tim Curry doesn't take shit from anybody.
Eric:Tim Curry, tim Curry, don't take nothing from nobody.
Matt:You know what? I thought Bill Murray would really go far in here, but he does get it. You make a good point. He gets his ass kicked, that whole film far in here, but he does get it.
Eric:You make a good point, he gets his ass kicked. That whole film, bill murray, could go, could go far, but frank cross doesn't make it out the first bracket no, I eric sadly.
Matt:I think you're right. I say sadly so I think it is tim curry, love it. I think we just go with. First big upset is of the bracket. I think yeah, and I think people are going to have feelings about that.
Eric:Murray got curried Murray got curried, there you go.
Matt:Didn't even put that together. Next we have from the Blackadder's Christmas Carol in 1988, it's Rowan Atkinson as Ebenezer Blackadder versus Cecily Tyson as Ebonita Scrooge in Ms Scrooge from 1997, a film I only heard of when I put it on this bracket.
Eric:So a couple things Okay. One, rowan Atkinson.
Matt:Mr.
Eric:Bean the Blackadder.
Matt:Mm-hmm. Rowan Atkinson. Mr.
Eric:Bean the Black Adder. The Black Adder, a character usually defined by constantly being foiled.
Matt:Yes.
Eric:None of his plans come to fruition. He notably, you know, dies every generation and is reincarnated, correct.
Matt:Again dies every generation and is reincarnated. Correct again. Cecily tyson, similar to to tim curry, takes no shit from no one no shit from no one, not no way, not no how I think it might be a benita scrooge I think ebonyta scrooge takes it all right now, eric, let's just get this one out of the way.
Matt:We've reached ourselves in the middle 1992 versus 1995. We've got Michael Caine from a Muppet Christmas Carol this was submitted by numerous people as their favorite versus and this just delights me Susan Lucci as Elizabeth Ebby Scrooge from the 1995 film ebby. That is a very funny thing to me, that is is very good um I.
Eric:I'm most familiar with susan lucci from all my children of course, as always, we all are as we all are. That was my mom's soap opera growing up. But this is amazing. I'm so glad she's here, so Michael Caine takes it.
Matt:It's Michael Caine. We don't need to waste any time with this, Michael Caine. Michael Caine's Scrooge in a Muppet Christmas Carol could have at any moment turn around and slit the throat of Gonzo. Yes.
Eric:Yeah, also, it just just here's here, this is just me, I'm. I'm like sir michael cain. If, if it weren't for the existence of alistair, sim would be my favorite scrooge, because everyone else in a muppet christmas carol was in a muppet movie. So michael kai, yeah, was just going balls to the wall. Ebenezer scrooge, you could have lifted his performance out of that movie, dropped it in, like the fucking like in the art, in the fucking english stage or any stage anywhere, doing a christmas carol, and nothing would have changed it's like the meme that comes around every time, every year around this time, which is like hey, you know it's.
Matt:It's a muppet, christmas, carol, it's fun, it's light. Have some fun with it.
Eric:Michael cain, I'm going to play this as serious as a heart attack he also has yes, yes, he also has one of my favorite moments in that entire movie, which is with one point where Sir Michael Caine picks up a Muppet and throws him at another Muppet. It is.
Matt:Michael Caine is boiling with violence in that film.
Eric:Yes, he is always two steps away from murdering everyone in the room.
Matt:Should we instead then, eric, work our way back up like just snake it? Yes, so michael cain is now reversing cecily tyson. Eric, I don't think we got to waste time here either uh, sir michael cain it's michael cain, ebony scrooge. I'm sorry you don't stand a chance against michael cain, so you know we already talked about his properties and no one remembered. Let's be honest that, with all due respect to cecily tyson, no one remembers ebonita scrooge no, so I didn't know it existed until today no, and we will forget about it just as quickly.
Matt:George c scott versus tim curry two pork trails I'll be honest that I haven't seen. Tim curry's is animated, yep, and george c scott's is not so. You have a cartoon tim curry scrooge versus george c scott, and george c scott is a tough man, but is he tough enough to beat curry?
Eric:because curry is not only tough, he's wily, he's wily, unpredictable at times unpredictable, I think. I think curry brings a conniving nature to the that's a good word I think george c scott would want to do this like a, like a fisticuffs kind of thing, but tim curry is gonna be like pocket sand I think you're right, I think he can.
Matt:He he's not afraid to fight a little underhandedly no, goodness, no, I think it's tim curry.
Eric:If tim curry's laughing, you should be running eric that's a great way, and he's oh, he's always laughing, that crazy son of a bitch.
Matt:That brings us to the uh classic matchup of carol spinney as oscar the grouch versus alan young as scrooge mcduck how okay.
Eric:So I think this goes to scrooge classic foil, the clash of titans. I do think this goes to scrooge McDuck Again. Money is a superpower. He could afford to buy Sesame Street and have it bulldozed over. Oh, that's so dark In an ultimate which tell me a less Ebeneezer Scrooge moment, like a pre-Change of Hearts.
Matt:Scrooge moment hey, you're not wrong moment. Hey, then buying sesame street and bulldozing it all right, I'm fine with giving it to scrooge mcduck and one-on-one. I think he would just take his money bags and rattle that. Uh, that trash can. Yeah. So I think we can move on to jonathan winters versus yosemite sam, as portrayed by mel blanc.
Eric:Oh now, this is tough this is tough, mel blanc, as yosemite scrooge. Still got gun. Yes, still got gun, still got gun, but is dumb. He's dumb and here's what I think undoes him him pulling doing the indiana jones pulling out the gun. Blam, he has to stick to looney tunes, rules of of engagement and and comedy. It's a neat trick, but he can only do it once, correct. You know, the second time he goes to pull that trigger it's gonna be a bang flag and he's gonna get his ass kicked.
Matt:I think jonathan winters has more fight in him than than just relying on his guns. I think once yosemite sam hits the bang flag, he's out of tricks, as you put it yeah, he's just and jonathan winters is just upon him and jonathan winters.
Eric:Just, they just legalized the 12-6 elbow and ufc and I think that's what he's dropping on yosemite scrooge eric, I'm sorry.
Matt:Did you just reveal that you watch ufc, of all sports?
Eric:no, I have several friends who do and I like learning things great okay, great.
Matt:So jonathan winters and his whatever elbow I will be chilling in discord.
Eric:They'll be watching ufc. I'll be playing video games. Okay, and asking about terminology and what a life you live, eric.
Matt:Yeah, okay. Next up is matthew mcconaughey as connor. Dutch mead versus is Jim Carrey. Now Jim Carrey is 3D, as we know.
Eric:Jim Carrey is 3D and has much more. I would say raw magic. He has the special effects department on his side, the raw kinetic energy of it.
Matt:Yeah, I think that will best. Mcconaughey, I do think so. I don't think that no amount of Texan strength is going to best Jim Carrey's animated form. No. So there it goes. It's Jim Carrey, but.
Eric:I'll say this McConaughey will be the most gracious loser, oh yeah. He'll take it like a boss, him and Jim will be getting drinks after this 100% they will.
Matt:Why wouldn't they be Michael boss, him and Jim will be getting drinks after this. 100% they will. Why wouldn't they be Michael Gambon as Kazran Sardic versus Catherine Tate as Nan?
Eric:let me say this Catherine Tate is one of the funniest human beings on this planet. Yes, catherine Tate is my favorite Doctor who companion. Okay, catherine Tate does not best Michael Gambon. Michael Gambon Scrooge? No, I don't think pitched combat?
Matt:I do not think so. I have to agree with you.
Eric:Let's give it to Kazran Sardic also worth noting that Kazran Sardic like by the time they get to him like it's a Matt Smith episode Catherine Tate's companion arc is already finished. She would make an incredible like cameo, but I dude's got, dude's got a time lord on his side and yeah now what we have next is alistair sim versus mr magoo jim buckus.
Matt:Of course it kills me to say this, kills me to say I have an opinion, so go ahead. I think magoo takes it. I think magoo takes it too, and I'll tell you why. Tell me why spill it, I think he will. In true, his true superpower is his ability to accident his way to success.
Matt:Yes, yes, I think the more competent his opponent, the more likely it is Magoo wins, because what's going to happen is they're going to set up for some street brawl and Magoo is going to walk into the edge of a scaffold and it'll come crashing down on Alistair Simm.
Eric:It'll.
Matt:Oh, I'm going to find my way to the fight exactly so I think that's as good of a magoo as we were gonna get. So I think magoo takes it I think magoo takes it now next next we have richard john smith, the first to ever play the role versus will ferrell, who, again has that reach he has that reach. He is a tall man.
Eric:He's a tall man, richard john smith might be built for like victorian times but like but he ain't built for the improv, he ain't built for the improv. And back then big in those times was like like a big dude, then was like five, six yeah, I think they were all short and rickety.
Matt:I think so, eric. I think we have no choice, but I think will ferrell tackles him way too hard through a wall I. I don't see how you're wrong about that yeah yeah, um. So that brings us to will ferrell. So we're gonna circle our way back, we're gonna snake around so we're down to one, two, three, four, five.
Eric:Uh sorry, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Matt:Yeah, it's eight, scrooges that's how the bracket we started with 32 we are down to eight. We're down to eight, and the first is will Ferrell versus Mr Magoo. Now this so now, this is fucking talking.
Eric:Now we're fucking cooking because, just as I said earlier, mr Magoo's strength in this competition is inversely proportional to the competence of his opponent. So like, however competent and good his opponent is, or how serious they are, yeah, or how like, like, like hard they're they're taking this, I agree, is how well magoo will do. How does that fare against the inherent absurdity of will?
Matt:ferrell. Yeah, I was gonna say I haven't seen spirited, but I think we can make an educated guess as to how will ferrell scrooge behaves. A lot of yelling, a lot of yelling, a lot of energy. This is a tight matchup this is. This is I think, when the dust settles, I think the absurdity of will ferrell stands a pretty good chance of overcoming the dumb luck of mr mcgill and I'll say this because they are.
Eric:They are two such comedically driven entities. It's funnier if will ferrell beats the shit out of a nearsighted old, old, old man. That's true. True, that is on brand.
Matt:It's on brand.
Eric:For Will.
Matt:Ferrell. I think we give it to Will Ferrell's portrayal from Spirited yeah.
Eric:Yeah.
Matt:Now that goes to our next grouping of Michael Gambon, Kazrin Sardic versus Jim Carrey from the Polar Express-esque adaptation.
Eric:Yeah, right From the Polar Express-esque adaptation, yeah, from the uncanny Beowulf universe. Truly, yes, I'm struggling, I'm truly struggling. I think it has to be Jim Carrey you think it has to be.
Matt:I think it has to be because michael gambon, you know, I think he's stately and he, he has a power, he has a certain authority. For sure he's gonna wield that cane and beat the shit out of somebody with it, for sure, but he's gonna do some damage. But jim carrey, he's like bouncing off the walls is that?
Eric:yeah, he, he, he's. He's so fucking squirrely, he's like bouncing off the walls. Is that? Yeah, he, he's. He's so fucking squirrely, he's nimble, he's nimble. I think that squirreliness beats michael gambon's raw power.
Matt:I think it does, I really do think it does, and that pains me to admit a little bit, but that is the situation yeah, that's what these are good fighters. Jonathan Jonathan Winters. Scrooge McDuck, Scrooge McDuck. Do we even need to talk about it? We don't. Scrooge McDuck, Scrooge McDuck. He moves on.
Eric:Matt, I think we can go and call a shot Now. This is right now. We are just figuring out who's going to be fighting Scrooge McDuck in the final.
Matt:Yes and well, I don't know that we're right there, because our next matchup is, of course, michael Caine versus Tim Curry.
Eric:Now I think Tim Curry, I do not. No, no, no, no, oh, no, no, sorry, I wasn't finished. Oh, I'm sorry, I think Tim Curry does some serious damage to Sir Michael Caine. But what happens when we fall down, Master White, we get back up. I think there will be a moment where I think it'll be like it is for most of this matchup we're like, oh well, we're watching Tim Curry play with his food.
Matt:I think, yeah, I think there is that. I think there's an element of him getting beaten around by Tim Curry. Who's flaunting it? Who's who's gesturing to the crowd? And that will be his undoing, and then Michael Caine's just going to rise up and say, all right, now that we've had all fun.
Eric:Yeah, michael Caine has always given me that vibe of like this dude got into scraps when you like.
Matt:I feel like Michael.
Eric:Caine was like bare knuckle boxing in alleys before he was an actor.
Matt:And his Scrooge in particular is. Cockney. Well, is Cockney, but is also he's so dead. I serious that Tim Curry's shenaniganery cannot compare to his drive and determination.
Eric:And I will say by the end of his movie, Michael Caine has won the allyship of the Muppets, notably an allyship that Tim Curry lost at the end of Muppet Treasure.
Matt:Island. Well done, Eric.
Eric:Well done. I think, yeah, I, I think, I think michael cain is gonna be like he's. He's gonna get knocked down by tim curry, right, yes? And then he's gonna be like, looking toward, like he's. He's gonna be on the verge of giving up and then he's gonna look over and who's gonna be standing there? It's gonna be kermit the frog. Michael, you know we're we're all out here rooting for you eric really good, kermit thank you really good kermit take, take it to the paint. Michael beat his ass.
Matt:Take, beat his ass for all the paint, michael, you know I can't even get there, you got there all right.
Eric:I love the idea of kermit being Michael Caine's cut man in the corner. We've only got two matchups left Eric.
Matt:Oh my God, We've got if we're snaking back.
Eric:Yeah, two matchups before the final.
Matt:That's what I'm saying. Two matchups before it's the semifinal, we've got Michael Caine versus Scrooge McDuck. This is tough. This is tough. Here's what I think. Here's what I think. Eric, tell me what you think. I think Scrooge McDuck has weaponry on his side. I think he has tenacity on his side.
Eric:Yes.
Matt:I think Michael Caine's Scrooge is built to withstand any number of blows.
Eric:I agree, and I will also say that Scrooge McDuck again, his superpower is money, but the moral of the Christmas Carol is that money can take you so far, it can get you so much, but it won't get you everything.
Matt:Here's what I can see happening, eric. Here's what I can honestly see happening. What I'm about to say, it's going to take this in a dark direction, okay.
Eric:But this is a battle royale.
Matt:Merry Christmas. Here's Scrooge McDuck. He's flailing around. He's beating Michael Caine with bags of gold coins. Michael Caine has been getting the shit kicked out of him. He's slapping him around and Michael Caine is looking at him dead eye seriousness. And at a certain point, scrooge McDuck is going to start monologuing. He's going to start talking about the true meaning of capitalism. He's going to start all this and when he does that, counting his ducks before they hatch From off camera, michael Caine, scrooge, is going to grab him by the neck and shove his cane through his eye socket. Oh my God, I love it. That's what's going to grab him by the neck and shove his cane through his eye socket.
Matt:Oh my God, yeah, I love it. That's what's going to happen.
Eric:Michael Caine. This will be the first true fatality of the battles.
Matt:Michael Caine will kill Scrooge McDuck.
Eric:As your co-host, I co-sign and then cook and eat him. Oh, michael Caine, scrooge, is that cold.
Matt:He would 100% Scrooge McDuck will be the bird in the window. It will be the biggest bird in the window.
Eric:That he serves to Tiny Tim. It will be the biggest bird in the window that he serves.
Matt:This film will end with Michael Caine serving tiny Tim Scrooge McDuck's ass.
Eric:Yeah.
Matt:Boiled. Yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah, all right, so we got another side of the bracket to finish, it's Will.
Eric:Ferrell, there's more of the gravy than the grave about you, mcduck.
Matt:It's Jim Carrey versus Will Ferrell. Oh man, Now again it's animated Jim Carrey, Animated Jim Carrey and, I think, versus Will Ferrell. The energy honestly could be similar, but I think it's probably that crazy, crazy animated style that is going to get him over the edge.
Eric:I think the dead-eyed staring off into the thousand-yard stare of the Polar Express eyes will unsettle Will Ferrell to throw him off his rhythm, because Will Ferrell will be coming into this match freshly, freshly blooded, having just beaten Mr Magoo. I think like Will spent everything just like throwing haymakers into Mr Magoo and I think he's not going to be ready for Jim Carrey's dead ass eyes.
Matt:No, and I think those dead ass eyes and I think the the physicality of the animated Scrooge, coupled with the energy of Jim Carrey's performance, yeah Uh, gets you one hyper, hyper fighter.
Eric:Yes, yes, I think Jim's portrayal will be able to intimidate Farrell, cause him to make some costly errors in his approach in the Octagon, and I think that's when Jim Carrey just hits him with the 12-6, recently legalized.
Matt:Recently legalized. I've been told yeah by many sources, and so that leaves us with Jim Carrey versus Michael Caine. Sure, Michael Caine.
Eric:I think so, matt. Let's just picture this for a moment. Let's picture it. I think it's both Michael Caine and Jim Carrey's Scrooges walking into this arena, steam coming off of their bodies like blood dripping from their knuckles and canes respectively now, and here's what we.
Matt:We do have eric. Yeah, we always see the, the um, the version of michael kane's scrooge. He's always in a big old top, uh, black coat, top hat, and then, of course, in the nightgown, during the nightgown scenes. Yes, but like, when I picture michael cain's scrooge, that's what comes to mind the top hat, the walking through the street with the with the cane. When I picture near, when I picture tim, when I picture jim carrey's, I picture the gnarled, curled up old man, almost a caricature in a nightcap knobbly frail, like sinewy old man in a night, which don't discount it, but like he's he's not at his prime no, certainly not.
Matt:And michael cain, let's see, just just to get us, uh, the picture. Okay, so he was 55 when he portrayed Ebenezer Scrooge, but I still think what you're going to get is this Tell it to me, I can see them walking in there.
Eric:Yeah.
Matt:And Michael Caine takes off that jacket, takes off his undershirt to reveal his Bill the Butcher-esque physique.
Eric:Yeah, I think if anyone's secretly hiding like fucking ripped ass, scrooge muscles, it's this Scrooge, it's a Michael.
Matt:Caine, and so, while Jim Carrey prepares his wiliness to get in there, michael Caine becomes Daniel Day-Lewis.
Eric:And it should be noted that up until now, Sir Michael Caine has been using the cane primarily as his weapon. It's true. I think after Scrooge McDowell, this is when he tosses the cane aside, and it's just he tosses the cane aside and unleashes the cane with an INE.
Matt:Yes, cain and Abel of that's his fists, yeah. And he just shot and I can just see Jim Carrey's Scrooge being like oh no, scrooge being like oh no, and then just getting rained down upon by blow after blow from Michael Caine.
Eric:Just using that Cockney fucking Bowery Boy street brawling style. What day is it boy?
Matt:What day is it boy? What day?
Eric:is this.
Matt:As he haymaker after haymaker down upon him.
Eric:He's like fucking Jim Carrey's screws like this what do I do? Where will I go? Are there no prisons? Boof. Are there no workhouses? Boof, bam, bam. And then I think Michael Caine pulls a bane and snaps him, snaps jim carrey's frail body over his knee which, which won't be as bad because the cgi, he'll be fine he'll snap it into.
Matt:Well, because of the cgi, he can become like a bent paperclip, like he can bend him all the way into a full book, yeah, and then toss him aside. God damn, just discard him as he walks off with his winnings.
Eric:Oh my God, so the dust has settled. The dust has settled. The clock has struck midnight. Yes, it's over.
Matt:All three ghosts have visited.
Eric:Oh, my God.
Matt:And all three have been bested by Michael Caine Sure, Michael Caine. Michael Caine's A Muppet Christmas Carol portrayal of Ebenezer Scrooge has won our humbug bracket.
Eric:The best and deadliest Scrooge.
Matt:The best. I do think he is the best Scrooge Truly I do and I do think he is the deadliest, as we have just proven. And that'll about do it for this holiday holiday edition of you didn't ask for this, god damn, god damn. We wrapped it up in a bow, didn't we? We did now next time out it came without ribbons.
Eric:It came without tags it came with michael cain, sending them all the way in a bags Nice.
Matt:Eric, well done in body bags. Yeah, and next time you hear our voices, we will be picking out our 2025. You daft. Bingo card.
Eric:That is fucking nuts. To me it's absolutely insane.
Matt:Time is not real, that happened yesterday that we are already back to bingo card selection, but that'll be our next episode. But for this episode I'm afraid it's in the body bag, absolutely. So by all means, if you haven't already, if you're looking for a Christmas gift for yourself, go to patreoncom slash you didn't ask for this and get yourself a subscription to our patreon. We, uh, have two tiers. The one dollar tier gets you access to our discord, where you can join our community of yadaft giants and talk amongst ourselves. It's like we're having a great time. But if you do four dollars a month, you will be truly a yada giant. You will get not only the Discord access, you'll get our monthly bonus episodes of Oops, all Tangents, and you'll get 20% off all merch forever and ever. That is what you get. But of course, if you have questions, you want to submit to us. We still want them. Oh, yes, we need them, and you can submit them to us at youdentaskforthis at gmailcom that's all spelled out. Or youdentaskpod that's the letter. Youdentaskpod on Instagram, blue Sky Threads, facebook, youtube, tiktok, etc. Etc. Go, check us out. You'll find us. You'll submit the questions and, of course, you can do it through the Discord if you're already there Now if you want your voice to appear on this show.
Matt:There's a good way to do it. You can call the thought line at 410-929-5329. Leave us a voicemail. You don't have to speak to us, it's just a mailbox. Drop us a line, we'll put you on the show. Yeah, all in all likelihood. Yeah, yeah, eric, did I miss anything with the business?
Eric:Much like Ebenezer Scrooge. You gave him the business.
Matt:Thank you. Thank you, yes, and you will have to be back here tomorrow at 9 am.
Eric:Not a minute later.
Matt:And not a minute later. So that'll about do it for this episode and this year of you Didn't Ask for this. We'll be back in 2025. But until then, my name is Matthew Shea.
Eric:My name is Eric Poach and listen, you didn't ask, but I think we both know. If you and I auditioned for A christmas carol, you would 100 be scrooge and I'd 100 be bob cratchit yes, that is maybe ghost of christmas present due to the height factor.
Matt:But like yeah I could see you as, uh, christmas present or christmas past oh, interesting, I could see it is either christmas present, I, it suits you better because give me your best.
Eric:Uh, come in and know me better, sir, better man, I, I could give you my favorite, my favorite christmas present line, like like, uh, oh, what was it from the, the alistair sim, because they even do the scene where he opens his robe and you see, like the, the children's, like this girl is ignorant. What was like this girl is once this boy's ignorance. Beware them both, but most of all beware this boy. But, yeah, come in, come in and know me better, dog, come on, come into me that's what, that's how you're gonna enchant the christmas spirit upon me.
Matt:Come in and know me better, dog come and know me better, come, come.
Eric:Come and know me better. Dude, don't make a big deal, come on. Come on, have a seat, pop a squat, it's Christmas.
Matt:Why are you so big?
Eric:How's the weather up there. Anyway, let's go hear all the shit your nephew's talking about you. Huh, what, wait what?